i don't know if i am depressed or not, because i was. i was for so long and then i got better and i could get out of bed every morning feeling like the day was going to be okay, and i could do everything i needed to without worrying about it. but then i couldn't get out of bed because i didn't want to, and i stopped doing everything i needed to.
i can still laugh at small things, it's just that sometimes when i'm on my own and there's nobody i need to put on my show for, i begin to forget how to feel the simplest of emotions and i'm left there trying to remember how to feel sadness and happiness.
[ reading this now makes me realize how much better i've gotten over these past few months. not better enough to stop wanting to die, but better all the same. so, the song up there (if you don't already know) is Video Games - Lana Del Rey. I'm not sure why, but it's my favorite song by her (not forgetting Ultraviolence) ]
YOU ARE READING
emotionally
Phi Hư Cấubasically a book where i write down how i'm feeling, throw in some really shitty poetry here and there and maybe a few songs for the hell of it. [ trigger warning ]
