can we just talk about how fucked up the schooling system is?! i have a math test tomorrow and i've been trying to revise for it and trying to do my homework whilst having a breakdown. i'm so disgusted at myself because i kept telling myself 'math matters more than your health, just suck it up and carry on'
i'm honestly so enraged at myself because it's been drummed into my brain that MY mental health does not matter when it comes to education and i'm beginning to believe it. i've been trying to do all my homework and i'm literally shaking because i'm trying to lock down an even bigger breakdown and it isn't working.
i can't just go up to my mum and go: "hey mum, i'm having a shitty mental health day, can i miss school?"
THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS AND IT SHOULD WORK LIKE THAT
i don't have time to try to get better or to make myself better, i don't have the time to get a therapist and i'm not sick enough to take pills. what the fuck is wrong with everything???? i've genuinely thought of trying to kill myself just so the doctors will finally try to help me get better.
it's bullshit.
this entire thing about mental health is bullshit.
YOU ARE READING
emotionally
Non-Fictionbasically a book where i write down how i'm feeling, throw in some really shitty poetry here and there and maybe a few songs for the hell of it. [ trigger warning ]
