I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DIE FOR SO LONG AND I THINK THAT TONIGHT MIGHT BE THE DAY I TRY TO DO IT AND THE THOUGHT IS MAKING ME SMILE BECAUSE I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE FREEDOM THAT COMES ALONG WITH IT. BUT IT'S ALSO MAKING ME WANT TO CRY BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO AND SAY AND SEE BUT THIS INTENSE SADNESS INSIDE IS KILLING ME.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SO FUCKING SORRY.
BUT I DON'T THINK I CAN SURVIVE WITH THIS SADNESS ANYMORE. THE DEMONS ARE HERE AND I CAN HEAR THEM IN MY HEAD SCREAMING AT ME. SOMETIMES IN THE NIGHT I WAKE UP AND I SEE ONE OR TWO AT THE FOOT OF MY BED, BUT I JUST KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT THEY CAN'T HURT ME AND THEY'LL GO AWAY. JOKES ON ME THOUGH, BECAUSE THEY'RE K I L L I N G ME AND I ONLY PRETENDED THEY WENT AWAY.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
I TRIED, BELIEVE ME I DID.
BUT TRYING ISN'T ENOUGH WHEN YOU'RE BEING PULLED INTO THE HELL IN YOUR MIND, AND I'VE FINALLY REACHED THE FLAMES. GOD DO THEY BURN, GOD THEY FUCKING HURT ME SO MUCH AND I GUESS THE ONLY WAY I CAN PUT THEM OUT IS WITH MY BLOOD.
YOU ARE READING
emotionally
Non-Fictionbasically a book where i write down how i'm feeling, throw in some really shitty poetry here and there and maybe a few songs for the hell of it. [ trigger warning ]
