so i had therapy yesterday. i hated it because he makes me feel like im going to cry. it's always about the drugs. always. and they won't give me pills, okay? they won't give me anti-depressants or sleeping pills or anything and it's fucking killing me. i'm dying. i cannot eat and i cannot sleep and i want to cry all the fucking time but i can't because of this stupid fucking facade. i just. . . i cant. im so tired. so tired. i want to sleep but i can't.
i lay awake at night thinking of everything i fucked up. i lay awake and calculate exactly how many minutes of sleep i will get if i fall asleep this instant. and, still, they won't give me pills. maybe they think i'll overdose and i know i will, maybe thats why i want them so bad. they should just put me in a psychiatric ward if they're so worried. fuck it, who am i kidding? they're not actually worrying, the voices know that. everyone knows that. they think i'm better hahaahahahaha they must be fucking kidding themselves.
[ i hate my life lmao. song up there is MS - Alt J]
YOU ARE READING
emotionally
Non-Fictionbasically a book where i write down how i'm feeling, throw in some really shitty poetry here and there and maybe a few songs for the hell of it. [ trigger warning ]
