I CAN'T FUCKING FEEL ANYTHING NOW AND IT'S ALL HER FUCKING FAULT
I WAS FIGHTING IT, I WAS ALWAYS FIGHTING IT OKAY I WAS TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF BETTER AND PUSH AWAY ALL OF THIS SHIT THAT WOULD MAKE ME FALL BACK DOWN AGAIN AND IT WAS WORKING
BUT THEN SHE SHOWED ME HER FUCKING SCARS AND I JUST FELL SO FAST I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND NOW I CAN'T FUCKING FEEL ANYTHING AND I HAVE SCARS RUNNING UP AND DOWN MY ARM
AND I WANT TO CRY BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE THE TEARS JUST DON'T COME ANYMORE AND IT'S ALL HER FUCKING FAULT FOR FUCKS SAKE
SHE FUCKING SHOVED ME BACK INTO 2013 AND I HATE IT OKAY
I HATE IT
AND NOBODY KNOWS JUST HOW FUCKING FAR THIS BITCH PUSHED ME BUT BY GOD DID SHE PUSH ME FAR AND I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO GET BETTER NOW BECAUSE OH MY GOD I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING
I AM NUMB
I'M FUCKING EMPTY AND MY BRAIN JUST WON'T LET ME THINK EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY
I KNOW EVERYTHING'S OKAY, BUT IT'S NOT
I KNOW THAT NOBODY IS ANGRY AT ME, BUT THEY ARE
MY STUPID FUCKING BRAIN JUST MAKES ME THINK AND I CAN'T STOP IT UGGGHHH I CAN'T FUCKING STOP IT AND IT'S HER FAULT
AND I CAN SEE HER DOING OKAY, AND SMILING AND LAUGHING AND NOT EVEN I HAVE THE EFFORT TO DO THAT ANYMORE AND SHE DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW HOW BAD I AM AND NOBODY DOES OH FUCK MAN OH FUCK I'M SO BAD
I'M SO BAD AND NOBODY IS HELPING ME NOBODY IS FUCKING HELPING ME AND I'M GETTING WORSE AND FUCK
I CAN'T FUCKING FEEL ANYTHING
YOU ARE READING
emotionally
Non-Fictionbasically a book where i write down how i'm feeling, throw in some really shitty poetry here and there and maybe a few songs for the hell of it. [ trigger warning ]
