Into The Unknown

Chapter 68

Abigail's POV

"Okay the good news is everything is fine with the babies" the doctor sighed.

"There's a but right?" Ryan guesses and the doctor nods regretfully.

"Abigail you have a condition called Placenta Previa..."

"What's that?" Ryan interupted.

"Can you remember me telling you tour placenta was low, well now it seems to be completely covering the cervix, now you must understand that this is a difficult condition to manage in single pregnancies. The risks are even greater in multiple pregnancies"

"So what are you saying?" Ryan asks I still haven't found my voice by this point.

"Abigail is only 28 weeks pregnant, and with twins" The doctor doesn't make eye contact with me or Ryan.

"Are you saying they will die?" I gasp and Ryan looks at me.

"The longer they are in there the better, but your condition makes things complicated" the doctor was struggling to explain so I guessed it must be bad "even though the risks to the babies is big, my main concern is the risk on your life if you continue with the pregnancy"

"So what are our options?" Ryan pushes as I just sit and Stare.

"There are only two options really and the one I would most recommend is to induce labour and deliver the babies as soon as possible"

"But you said yourself, it's too soon" I speak again.

"And if we don't, how big is the risk to Abi's life? I'm talking figures statistics" Ryan seemed annoyed I had protested against the induction.

"In cases like this one, the mothers mortality rate is usually 75%" I watch as Ryan throws his hands behind his head.

"How soon can you do the induction?" What, my heart skips...how can he even be considering this as an option.

"Ryan" I manage to force out, I shake my head and whisper "No"

"You can't be serious" he snaps a little "Please tell me you're not considering this..."

"The doctor said himself the babies have a better chance of survival if I continue with the pregnancy"

"How many weeks would I have to be pregnant for, for the babies to have the best chance, obviously I know full term isn't am option. But what's the least I can be?"

"Ideally anything after 34 weeks" Ryan just looked at me completely dumb struck.

"So another 6 weeks?" I ask and the doctor looks worried.

"Yes but I wouldn't advise..."

"I'm not asking for your advice, I'm asking for facts" I snap "How much would their chances increase if I waited?"

"35 or 40%" the doctor continued.

"See they have more of a chance if I wait" I try and reassure Ryan.

"And what about you?" Ryan moved closer to me "What about your chances, Abi I can't..."

"Listen I understand that you need time to process this, why don't you go home and talk it over and we can discuss things tomorrow" I look at Ryan and he nods.

×-×-×

The drive back to the hotel was in complete silence, neither of us could speak. As we walked through the bar I was surprised to see Leroy, Tony, Eddie, Drew and Zach waiting for us. Brent must have gone to bed. I couldn't speak to any of them I just walked to our room. Ryan whispered something to Leroy and then followed me, as we got inside the room I felt myself shake as Ryan spoke "There will be other babies"

"I don't want any other babies Ryan, I already have two inside me. Right now in here" I grab my stomach desperately "I can feel them move, you've felt them move...how could you even..." Ryan just stares at me, his eyes full of tears "Their chances increase by 40% if I continue"

"YEAH AND THERE'S A 75% CHANCE YOU COULD DIE ABI" Ryan yells angrily "I can't lose you, don't you get that?"

"So this is a choice for you, either me or them?" I take a deep breath "Why not choose both of us?"

"Because you are here, because I love you with all I am and because you are a bigger part of me than I could possibly imagine" Ryan pleads with me "Abi if I lose you...I can't even..."

"Your not going to lose me" I look into his eyes...

"You can't possibly know that" he is angry again.

"So what are you saying, if you have the choice you'll save me?" I try and hold back my emotions but they are getting the better of me.

"Always" Ryan whispers before walking towards the door, he slams it shut behind him.

Tears stream down my face as I slide down the wall and sob uncontrollably, after a few moments I here the door open and footsteps rush across the room. I don't need to look up to know Ryan has come back into the room. He is sat beside me holding me tight.

×-×-×

We haven't moved from the spot, but I have managed to gather myself again "Why is this happening to us?" I ask and he just kisses my head "I know this is really hard, but I am begging you please don't make me do this. I can't put them at risk"

"Do you think this is easy for me?" Ryan sniffs "I just can't bare to spend the rest of my life without you"

"Ryan you don't get it, I have felt them moving around inside me for weeks. I can't lose them not now" I watch as Ryan gets up and helps me stand "I know this is hard for you, but I can promise you one thing. If you make me go through with the induction and something happens to then, then you'll lose me anyway" I grab my purse and walk out of the room leaving Ryan to reflect on our argument.

I walk back into the bar and Leroy quickly stands "Abi what's going on?" He asks as he follows me outside. I can't speak I just pull Leroy closer to me and hug him. Ryan has pretty much made it obvious where he stands on this.

×-×-×

Leroy just sat and listened as I explained what had happened at the hospital "Abi Ryan loves you, he is bound to put you first"

"I know I just feel alone in this" I sigh

"How do you think Ryan feels? You have basically made the desicion to leave him" Leroy looks at me and speaks gently "Perhaps not intentionally but I can see why he might think that. Baby girl it isn't just about you any more, that changed when you met Ryan and you know that. I'm not saying you have to agree with his desicion, all I'm saying is don't be angry with him for being scared of losing you"

Leroy was right, I needed to put myself in Ryan's position. If the tables were turned I would never want him to put his life at risk.