Slytherin Pride

Panic.

It was 12:11 in the evening. I had just gotten done with detention. The common room was completely bare, and the sounds of snoring filled the emptiness instead. I dropped my bag on the ground and walked over to my favorite chair, with how the schedule works out, by the time we get to the common room it's already taken. But when I was younger I used to rush to this chair and do all 20 of my essays in one night. I remember Harry sitting across from me on the couch and Ron curled up by the fire, sneaking questions about the homework. I remember we stayed here when Sirius called, and when Harry discussed his kiss with Cho. I remembered the party the whole house celebrated when Ron made the Quidditch team. I was practically exploding with joy, but with lavender and all I just buried myself in this chair and read an entire textbook before the night was over. I remember sitting and watching Ginny break the news to Harry, with him crying into his hands in this chair. I also remember Draco sitting here, when he asked if I could tutor him in the dead of night. My chin started to tremble. I loosened my tie and kicked my shoes off, then I slowly walked over to the beaten down red carpeted chair. I stared at it, examining what I might've looked like. Then I curled myself slowly back into the chair. It used to be far to big, leaving enough room to stretch my feet out across it, but now the sides curl
Around my fatal form, as if securing me to its memories. A tear slid down my face as I remember tripping over this chair after my huge fight with Ginny. I closed my eyes letting tears run down my face, as if carving lines in my cheeks. I cringed as a sob erupted out of me. I tucked my head in and cried into the arm of the faded fabric. I licked my lower lip trying to calm the shaking that had overtook my whole body. My shoulders expanded and contrasted trying to allow more air to be emitted into me. I squeezed my eyes tighter and balling my hands up into fists. I took rattling breaths. It's all my fault. I can't even cast a defensive spell properly anymore. Every Time I try I see Ginny and Draco falling and holding each other as I try and fail a total of seven times to impact their fall. I saved her broom, by not Draco and her. I drive my nails into my palms until they become slippery with blood I groan in pure hatred of myself. I can't do anything right. I save the world and now am incapable of catching a fall that was my fault in the first place. The images seem to tent red as all the people gathered around as Ginny started screaming and crying. I take sharp intakes of breath through my nose and struggle to get them out. I see bones jutting out of Draco as well as his head dripping blood as if it were a fountain. I see Ron running faster than I thought capable, trying to get Ginny to the nurse before she blacked out from pure shock and pain. I can't stop shivering and I have to cough in order to get a breath out. My throat felt as it was closing in and stopping me from breathing. A cold sweat starts to break out of my body. I uncurl from the chair and leap up and start to tilt and lean. The fire triples in number and the floor starts to sag. The panic wouldn't stop. I bump into walls as I stumble to the bathroom throwing water on my face, which did help to an extent. I started to drip sweat. "F-fresh air." I pushed my shoes on and darted to the door and started to feel queasy. I get welcomed by a gust of air as the portrait hole. I take deep breaths with my hands above me head trying to focus on a single
Candle that's against the wall. I start to see a straight floor and no vaulted ceiling. I stood still till all I was left with dealing with was my now dried tears that were frozen in my face. I wiped them off and trudged along the dark and undisturbed corridors. If
Snape catches me out of bed, I would maybe be at risk of being expelled since I am already at his wits end with me being punished. I find myself climbing to the nurses office. Working really hard to conserve my breathing, and trying maybe a little to hard to control my air flow. There is no portrait to enter just a huge, rotted, chipped,
And gnawed, wooden door. I pushed it open to reveal only two hospital beds being used. The nurse was currently asleep in her head courters. One bed was Draco's for the past week and a half, and the other was a little girl's that had stumbled across a stray puking pastel left in the common room over the summer. She looked rather green. I tiptoed to Draco's bed, even though the nurse was sound asleep and Draco was in a coma. I still felt as though I should just pretend he's sleeping and go about my day. But find a constant reminder, Ginny. She never showed up to meals. She barely sleeps. The sunken bags under her eyes looks as though you smeared a thick layer of eyeshadow, blending it to a dark natural grey. Her shirts have starts to hang off her skinny frame. She cries more than she talks. If a new student were to appear they would think she doesn't have a voice. Then there was the haunting moment when she was watching me through the potions door. I shook my head. She wasn't scary. She was just...lost. I sighed and slouched into a seat beside Draco. The magical heart monitor beeped in a rhythmic slow motion. I sighed, letting another tear fall on his face and roll down the side of his cheek. "Please. Please wake up." My voice croaked and cracked. I had also not used it very often. I hadn't cried though ethier. More of a thinking stage. Where everything else is erased and your brain zones out and only connects to one thing. I still haven't found that thing. It may be Draco's open eyes. Or Ginny's smile. Or her voice. Or her scraped clean plate. I wish any number of those things would happen, If not all. I sigh and start drifting off to sleep. I am dozed off, trying to forget all problems and just sleep when the slow beeping of the heart monitor starts to slow. My eyebrows narrow but my eyes stay closed. It gets slower and slower till it's only a beep per ten seconds. Then...it stops. My eyes fly open as panic surges back into me. Not the attacking kind. The overwhelming unmoving kind. I quickly snap out on it and look at Draco, scared that if I touch him he might be lost forever. Then all of a sudden the monitor starts going double the speed it was going, and Draco starts to move. He starts twitching and groaning. He is starting break out in a cold sweat as his heart rate continues to rise. He mutters in a urgent tone. "G-go away. Leave me alone." He croaks barely audible. I think he means me but that's impossible. There's something in his head. His inner world becomes more real. He starts thrashing around in covers that have stayed still so long they throw a thin layer of dust into the air. He gasps and gives a raspy shout. He seems to lunge and sits up when his eyes open quickly and he immediately turns to the trash bin beside him and retches. He mainly throws up just spit, along with pain medicine and the last thing he ate a week and a half ago. He is breathing and sweating at about the same rate. His heart rate started to decrease but it was still beyond normal. He then narrows his eyes and looks up for the first time, and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, "were you one of the ones that was talking and standing over me when I Briefly woke up?" I nodded slowly. I had to take a minute to process his barely distinctive words. He gave the smallest of smallest smirks. "You like watching people in comas granger?" I can't help it. I give a soft laugh as tears
Freely run down my face. I lean down over him and sling my arms around his neck and cry into his shoulder. He gently wraps his arms around my middle and up my shoulder blades. I let a strangled cry escape me. "Everyone blames me Draco...I'm sorry....Ginny's barely conscious as well you know...she never talks, never attends classes. She barely drinks or eats. She's practically dead without you! A-and it all my fault!!" I sob shakily into his shoulder. He rubs small circles on my back trying. To assure it wasn't my fault. But he can't reply to Ginny's state, it hurts him inside too much, I can tell. He couldn't even get her name out. "G-g-gin-" he shakes, probably partly from just retching but also because of how awful it sounds. He swallows. "T-there was someone in my head. My aunt...she got in my head while I was out. She threatened to kill everyone. Blow the whole castle up. I-I can't deal with anything else bad right now." I wipe my eyes and release his neck looking at him hard in the eyes. "Plenty has happened. But what you just said is more important. Spill." He smiled dispite to situation. "Yes ma'am!" I roll my eyes and clear my throat obviously waiting for him to continue. He sighs. "How long was I out and...h-how is Ginny? Like...injuries." I wince. "Oh uh...few bones broken...no harm done." He then notices my face. "And yourself." I scratch the back of my neck. "Even in gins state, she took a swing at me. And I let her." He raised his eyebrows. "Why don't you cover it up?" His voice was getting a little better, just a bit cracked and dry. "I wanted to let her feel as though she's still strong enough to go on and leave a mark in this school." He raised his eyebrows in a complete arch. "You look like shit in general too you know." I sigh. I could take that in an offensive way, but I know he's more than right. "You being gone tore me apart, because...b-because I didn't know I-if you were coming back." I sniffled as more tears erupted out of my eyes. He dropped my gaze and traced the scars on his arms with his index fingers. "Well...despite my head injury...I think the nurse healed me up pretty well." I nodded, and continued to let a mixture of happy and sad tear trace the steady dug trenches in my cheeks.

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