Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

Lucifer's Elite

"You sure about this?" CC asks me as I down the contents of my mug. Jack Daniels burns my throat but eases my anxiousness.

"Yeah." I say and Rikki smiles.

"Baby, you're drinking Jack out of a coffee mug." He says and I shrug.

"It'll be fine." I say as Jamie opens the door and walks in like she owns the place, her bass in hand.

"Ready loser?" She wonders and I nod grabbing my guitar.

"Wish us luck." I smile and Rikki kisses my forehead.

"Good luck, baby." He tell me.

"Kick ass, girlies." CC calls as we walk out the door.

We make it to my Trans Am and load our instruments in the back. I start the engine and  Jamie looks over to me.

"What are you gonna play?" She wonders.

"Purple Haze, by Hendrix." I say. "What about you?"

"Smoking in the Boys Room, by Crüe."

We pull up to Ashley's house and go into the basement where we were told to meet them. Ashley has almond coloured hair and bluey-grey eyes, she stands about 5'2". Well she actually sits behind a drum kit. A girl with dirty blond hair is facing Ashley with her back to us. When she turns around I nearly have a heart attack.

Queen of Cunts, Jillian Powers turns around. Her brown eyes study us before she scowls. She stands 5'6" if she's lucky and is built like a shithouse. Her chest looks so fake that I think it has a Mattel stamp on it. I cross my arms and stare at her.

This can't be right, right? Like she doesn't look like a singer, she looks like a hooker. Not the position in rugby either. Like streetwalker, cheap, give you crabs, hooker.

Jamie didn't set this up knowing Jillian was the singer, did she? I sure hope not.

"Thought you said you found us a couple of musicians, not a couple of locks from Boston." Jillian scoffs.

"We're from Brooklyn you uncultured swine." I snap. Fucking idiots, we hate Boston. I mean the Red Sox? We're Yankees fans or you're a Mets fan and wrong. Hate to break it to ya, Jamie.

"They can play." Ashley speaks up.

"Are you sure?" Jillian wonders.

"Ask them." She points to us.

"Who do you like, guitarists I mean." She asks me.

"Page, Hendrix, Simmons, Mars, Clark, Collen, Van Halen, Deville." I smile at saying the last one, Jamie laughs.

"Who's the last one?" Jillian asks.

"Her brother, CC Deville, from Poison." Jamie explains.

"Bullshit." She exclaims.

"Nope, we're twins." I smile. "Want me to call him, sweetheart?"

Jillian is silent for a while, she just studies me. After about ten minutes of creepy intense starring, Jillian straightens up and is all business again.

"Can you play?" She wonders.

"You tell me." I say as I open my guitar case.

I walk over to the amp and hook up. I move my fingers to play Purple Haze, and watch as Jillian's opinion of me does a 180 flip. I know I'm good, I mean look at CC. We are twins after all. Ashley lights up to.

I finish my set and Jamie continues to play her's. Jillian and Ashley talk for a while before looking at the two of us.

"Let me guess, you're a group deal. Both of you or neither of you." Jillian wonders.

"Yeah." We say at the same time.

"Well this works out well then, you're in. The both of you." Ashley says and I knock Jamie in the arm.

"Tell me Johannesson, think we can get along?" Jillian wonders.

"I guess we're gonna find out." I admit and she smiles.

"So what do we call ourselves?" Jamie wonders.

"Lucifer's Elite." Ashley says and I smile.

"Your mom is going to love that, Bee." Jamie hits me in the arm.

"I love it." I admit.

"Can you two write songs?" Ashley wonders and we laugh.

"Not even close." Jamie laughs. "We can put music to anything, just don't ask us to write it."

"Do you know Ian Hunter's Once Bitten Twice Shy?" Jillian asks us and we nod. "We've been screwing around with that. Wanna see what we've got?"

We play the song through a couple of times and we actually sound really good. Lucifer's Elite. Huh, sounds pretty great to me. Might be the next biggest thing. We're coming for your title Poison.