Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

All The Things That Could Go Wrong

By the time we got back to Los Angeles and to the hospital Jillian had her son. He was small, like only weighed about three pounds. He is on oxygen and a feeding tube but he was crying the minute he was born. He still doesn't have a name because, well,  Jilly has been asleep since he was born.

We all sit in the waiting room of the hospital. Jamie is asleep on James' shoulder, Ashley and CC are both asleep but that doesn't surprise me all that consider for as long as I've known my brother he's had the ability to sleep in the weirdest of places. Bret, Bobby, Rikki, and I have pulled chairs around a table and we're playing cards.

"Worried about Jillian?" Bret asks.

"You're not?" Bobby wonders.

"No I am, I was just making sure it's a normal reaction." Bret laughs uncomfortably.

"Bee isn't saying much." Bobby notices and I look up from my cards.

This whole thing with Jill is a reality check of sorts. I mean this could happen to me or Ashley or Jamie. Our baby's could all be born prematurely or be still born or be born with meningitis or cancer. There nothing for sure saying that any or all of us will deliver healthy happy babies. There's no promises in this world.

"Bianca?" Rikki's voice jerks me from my thoughts.

"Uh, full house aces over queens." I say and lay my cards. "I think I win."

"That's why she was quiet." Bobby laughs.

We play a couple more hands before James notices somethings and comes over to us.

"Bee, you know sign language right?" He asks and I nod. "Your grandmother was deaf?"

"Yeah why?" I ask and he points behind us.

There's a woman probably about our mother's age signing at a nurse. The nurse looks insanely confused and doesn't know what to do. The woman looks scared and worried and is getting frustrated that the nurse can't understand her.

"I'll be right back." I say as I stand up.

I walk over to the nurse and the woman and start signing.

"Are you okay?" I sign at the woman.

"I am but my daughter isn't. She just had her baby." The woman signs at me.

"What's her name?" I sign.

"Jillian." She answers.

"Jillian Powers?" I ask in sign.

"Yes. How did you know that?" The woman wonders.

"I'm Bianca. I'm friends with Jillian, we all are." I sign and motion behind me. "Bret." I sigh and point at him. "Bobby." I then point to the bassist. "My husband, Rikki." I point to Rikki. "My brother CC."

"Ashley Walker." Jill's mom signs at points at Ashley who is asleep on my twin brother.

"Yes." I sign. "We're all friends."

"How is Jillian and the baby?" She signs.

"Jill is asleep and the baby is stable. He's on oxygen and a feeding tube. We haven't seen either of them yet." I explain in sign. "Go sit down and we'll tell you if we hear anything."

She nods and goes to sit down. I explain who the woman is and why she was so on edge. I then go and sit back down beside my husband.

"She's Jilly's mom." I explain.

"I didn't realize that she still talked to her parents." Rikki says.

"Clearly she doesn't talk to her mom." Bret laughs and Bobby glares at him.

"Seriously?" He asks and I sigh.

"But Rikki is right, Jill never talked about her family. I assumed that they were out of the picture." I admit. "I'm hungry, I'm going to go find something to eat."

"I'll go with you." Rikki says and pulls me up.

We walk down the hall towards the cafeteria. It's probably close to two o'clock in the morning now so I'm just hoping that the cafeteria is still open.

"Okay so I'm not as stupid as I look." Rikki says and I look over to him.

"The the hell are you talking about?" I ask and he laughs.

"You'd never put that much thought into a poker game, babe. Poker comes too easy to you." He states. "What were you actually thinking about?"

"We'll Jill just delivered a premature baby. It just got me thinking that what if happens to Jamie or Ashley or me? I mean it could happen." I say and my husband stop walking and pulls me around so I'm facing him.

"Bianca you've gotta stop doing that to yourself." Rikki says. "If you keep worrying you'll make yourself sick. I'm not going to say this isn't going to happen again because I can't promise this but it's unlikely. Babe, you and Jam and Ash are going to have healthy kids and Jill's son is going to pull through this."

"How can you be so sure, Rik?" I ask. "A million things could go wrong."

"I'm sure because I'm an optimist." He says and knocks his forehead into mine. "And I know that our kid is going to be too goddamn stubborn to be born before she's ready."

"He." I correct and he grins.

"We'll see." Rikki says quietly and kisses my lips. "Let's go find you so food."

Rikki

As soon as Bianca got food into her she fell asleep on my shoulder but I couldn't sleep. Hospitals freak me out but i know I'll be spending a lot more time in them over the next little while.

Eventually I fell asleep and was only woken up by the doctor telling us that Jilly was awake and with her baby and wanted to see all of us. I woke up Bee although she wasn't too happy about it.

We walked into the hospital room and Jill is looking at her baby in the incubator. He's really small. She looks up to see her mom and they start signing to each other. I watch my wife look at the little baby.

Bianca is scared now, she's scared that she'll deliver prematurely or that somethings else might be wrong with our baby. I know somewhere inside me that our baby will be fine and that Bee worrying is just part of being a mom.

"His name is Nathaniel, I'm going to call him Nate." Jillian says. "Nate Alexander Powers, after my grandfather."

"It's a great name." Bee says quietly and smiles.

"You gonna keep him?" Ashley wonders and Jill nods.

"I'm moving back to Sacramento with my mom." She says. "As soon as the baby is out of the hospital. It's what's best for Nate, my mom, and I."

"Look at little Jilly making grown up decisions." Jamie smiles.

"So that's being a mom." Bee whispers to herself and I kiss her cheek.

"You'll be ready for it, I promise." I say and she smiles.

Bee will be ready but will I?