Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

Pregnant Broads Against Rikki Rockett

When Ashley and I do finally get home Rikki wasn't anywhere to be found, CC was playing with Robyn, and Ana and my mother are prepping dinner. CC looks up at me and points to the phone.

"Jamie wants you to call her." He says and I nod going over to the phone.

I dial the number and hold the phone to my ear. It rings a couple of times and I lean against the wall. Robyn comes up beside me and hugs me. I play with her hair and smile. I missed my little niece.

"Hello?" Jamie's voice comes through the phone.

"Hey Jam, my twin said you wanted me to call." I say.

"Yes! You are pregnant and you didn't even have the liberty of telling me, your best friend! I had to find out from Bret!" She states.

"Who did Bret know?" I wonder.

"I think your husband and his friends gossip like teenage girls." Jamie says. "Hold did Rikki take the news?" I laugh uncomfortably.

"Well he took it." I say.

"Ooh that didn't sound too good." She states. "James wants to know if he needs to beat your husband up."

"No he doesn't have to beat Rikki up." I promise her.

"So what happened?" Jamie wonders.

"Uhh, hold on." I say and look over to my brother. "Where's Rikki? Is he in my room?"

"Uh no." CC says. "He went on a walk or something. If he doesn't come back in a while I'll have to go look for him."

"Okay." I say and I walk  upstairs towards my room.

I close the door behind me and I lay back on my bed.

"Okay I'm back." I say.

"What happened?" She asks again.

"We fought, like a lot. Like screaming at each other." I start.

"So like before the tour of Europe?" Jamie wonders.

"That on steroids." I state. "He thought I should've told him the minute I found out I was pregnant but I didn't know how. Christ Jam, I was scared. Hell, I still am! I got mad and said that it wasn't his career on the line. To that he said...he said-" I can't even say it. I sniff and try again. "Rikki said: 'why don't you get an abortion?'."

"He didn't say that did he?" She asks.

"He did and I think it was just a heat of the moment thing but it makes me think does he not want kids?" I ask. "I'm not getting an abortion, I'll move back to New York and raise the kid."

"Why wouldn't you just move into your own place in LA?" Jamie asks.

"I couldn't be that close to him. I couldn't see him remarry or have kids with someone else. It would kill me, Jam." I explain and she sighs.

"Jamie! Is she talking like she's already lost him again!" Ashley's voice comes over the phone.

"Yes! I think she needs to stop!" Jamie states and I laugh.

"CC said that we should make an anti Rockett group." Ash says with a laugh.

"What? Pregnant broads against Rikki Rockett?" Jamie asks with a laugh. "Bet we could get Jilly to join."

"Yes!" Ashley says. "Pregnant broads against Rikki Rockett! I likes it and I know Jilly will join. Hell, CC will join!"

"Jesus Christ." I laugh.

"I've gotta make James dinner." Jamie sighs.

"You're the pregnant one, Jam." Ashley says.

"Yeah but I don't trust James around the stove." I say and Jamie laughs.

"That is a fair point, Bianca." Jamie laughs. "But I do have to go, good luck."

"I'll need it." I laugh.

Rikki

I stand outside Bianca's bedroom door listening to her talk to Jamie. Ashley is looking at me from the living room while she talks to Jamie and Bianca on the other phone. I love listening to Bee laugh.

So I am the worst husband on this planet. I told my wife to get an abortion, I can't fucking believe that I told Bianca that! I'm hands down a horrible person. I mean I love my wife and I want to have a family with her but I might've just fucked up everything! I don't know why I told Bee that, I mean I was just--it took me by complete shock.

Well right about now Jamie, Bianca, and Ashley are currently making a Pregnant broads against Rikki Rockett group. By the sounds of it they're having Jilly join and possibly CC. When CC became a pregnant broad I'm not sure but he needs to do some explaining to Ashley for starters. And if CC is pregnant and so is Ashley....

God I have a twisted mind.

I know I have to do something to make it up to Bee. I mean I can't exactly fix this with a simple 'I'm a fucking idiot, Bee. I'm sorry'. I need to do something really big and something straight out of a cheesy movie. But what?

Maybe I should ask CC or Ashley or Ana? Well CC might cut my throat out as Ana would. I guess that leaves Ashley. Hopefully she doesn't cut my throat out.