Road to Evergreen | #Wattys2016

o n e

"Lesley! Lesley, wake up!" I groan and turn to press the snooze button on my 12 years old brother.

"Leave me alone!" I demand.

"I would but you have a job that we need the income from," Harry argues. Is he really bringing this topic up now?

"Fine!" I get out of bed in desperate need of an urgent shower. I head to bathroom and turn the faucets on. I step in and let the hot water relax my tense muscles.

I let the water drown me and I watch as it prickles down my hands. Water and I are similar, I think to myself. We both run so fast without stopping. We run like a river and drown like moving sand, slowly and agonizing.

I decide to get out of the shower before I sleep in there. I glance at the watch and it's 7:45 a.m. I sigh and wipe the foggy mirror and take in what is in front of me. A pair of hazel eyes are staring back at me, surrounded by sleeping bags. I consider on applying makeup but struggle and give up. What's the point? it won't hide the pain.

I look up again and my frizzy brown hair is way out of control today. It just won't stay in place. I reach for a hat and wear it.

It's just another bad day.

Fifteen minutes later, I arrive at Jackie's to Go. I glance at my watch and I'm ten minutes late. I curse under my breath and race to open the store before my boss kicks me out. The shop seems to be the same way I left it yesterday, just like any other supermarket.

I head to the counter and take out my book. I start reading. After a while, I get bored and toss the book aside.

I find myself staring out of the window. It's raining heavily today, and the service is agonizingly slow. I sit and watch the raindrops slide down the window. Right now, I'm betting on raindrop number 2 to win the race, because just being labeled the second doesn't mean you don't deserve the good things in life. You struggle to keep up with the ups and downs, ride as many roller coasters there are, and pray you make it out alive. However, I've realized that I don't just want to be alive, I want to live. But how could you live when you can't keep up with anything. My life is a routine. I wake up, fix the apartment, pack lunch for Harry, head out to university, finish and go to work, come back to the apartment to find Harry asleep, and sometimes I wait up for my mother to arrive home.

It's getting harder these days. She isn't around as much as before and I don't know if it's better or worse. Harry misses her and so do I. It got harder when my father passed away last year, she used to come back home drunk every night, and sleep all day. But now, she sometimes doesn't even come back. I need to do something.

I sigh and decide to stop thinking about it. It only makes me ache. Life is going to get better, I keep telling myself.

I was wrong--raindrop number 1 won.