Road to Evergreen | #Wattys2016

t h i r t y - s i x

"Lesley?" Spencer's voice fills my ears.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

Silence.

"Maybe she went into a shock," I hear Riley assume.

"We should take her home," Spencer replies.

"But I don't think she will be able to move. I mean, look at her," Riley continues.

Why are they talking about me as If I'm not here? What's wrong with me? ... Everything. What did I expect him to do? Run back into my arms the minute I offered them? But I didn't offer them. I can't.

I hear the exchange of ongoing whispers so I clear my throat, "you know that I'm right here."

Both stare at each other then back to me, trying to figure out what to do with the almost stranger that's having a meltdown. Spencer sighs as he takes a seat next to me on the floor. He looks up at Riley who smiles and nods, "I'll be inside."

As Riley makes his way back, Spencer turns to me. I know he wants me to talk and I'm just not ready to open up. I feel so drained from life. I wish the world would crack up and swallow me whole.

I jerk my neck to face him and gasp immediately because of his swollen cheek and busted eye. I raise my hands to my mouth as I sob, "I'm so sorry."

"Please forgive me for putting you in this situation," I beg.

"What- this?" He points to his face. I nod. "Oh, it's nothing! I think it makes me look tough. Don't you think?" He playfully asks as he smile.

I shake my head as a giggle escapes my mouth. But then slowly, my smile fades and returns into a frown. I feel the tension in the air increase as my whole body shivers.

Spencer breaks the silence, "Lesley, what happened between you two?"

Should I tell him? I debate between my heart and mind. Stop overthinking this, Lesley. Do you trust him? No! I don't know, maybe.. He stood up for me when I needed someone the most. Instead of leaving me stranded on this floor, he's giving a damn about me. So, maybe. Maybe because I need a friend. Maybe because- I shrug. If I don't tell anyone, I might crack harder. This has to end.

"I-I don't know where to start," I hesitate.

I bury my face in my palms as I rub my eyes open, "I broke up with him."

"Why?" He asks. I turn to meet his eyes and they strike me with concern and hope. I feel my throat untangle as the words slip, "I never told anyone this and I'm not planning to start.

Just like any other romance story, we fell in love. But then I found out who his brother was," I shift uncomfortably on the floor.

"His brother did something really bad that nightmares haunt me till this day on." He opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "I won't tell you what it is. I simply can't."

"So don't push me," I warn.

He closes his mouth as he nods.

"If I'm with him, the world is better. He makes my life complete. He was that missing piece in my life and I found him," Spencer's face lights up because he knows what I mean.

I sigh, "But now that I lost him, I feel like he took more pieces than before," I sniff as tears wet my cheeks.

I inhale a shaky breath and continue, "I did this to protect him. I can never come between him and his brother, no matter how evil he is. Not ever. I mean, he already lost his mother, and who am I to take the privilege of a family?" I ask as I wander my hands in the air.

"I can never live with myself if I do," I shrug.

His eyes widen as he profoundly listens to what I'm rambling about, "This is my fault. If only I let him be. If only there was nothing to start, then I wouldn't have to end it. Sometimes- Sometimes, I wish that this is all a joke, that someone will jump up and say: you got prank'd," I mock. How am I finding humour in this?

"But no. Life doesn't work this way."

I feel Spencer's jaw tense as his eyes flash sympathy, "Lesley, please understand that none of this is your fault. Don't blame yourself. One day he will know that what you did was to protect him. And from the look of his eyes, I knew from that moment that he is madly in love with you as you are with him," he strokes his hair back.

"That piece of slut was all part of a show. It was to make you jealous. But I can tell that his heart strings only tug for you," he says.

He's right. I know he is. But how can I explain that this isn't any ordinary story? That our heart collided but only to shatter?

"You don't know what I had to deal with, of what I saw. And you know what's the best part about this?" I sarcastically ask.

He shrugs.

"I lost my best friend in that process. Because Adam's brother's best friend, Jeremy, knows what Adam's brother did. And he blackmailed me. Now, he is dating my best friend Megan, and I could see it from her eyes...

...She loves him," I frown.

He rubs my back, "and she loves you. Lesley, a lot of people in this world love you but all you seem to do is push them away. I've meet you for two days now and I'm already very fond of you. I mean, who else is going to be my partner in dancing the tango?" he attempts to brighten the mood.

I roll my eyes.

"You ignore your problems, thinking that eventually they will wash away. But no, they will come back harder. You're a very strong and beautiful lady, who put me in pain to see suffer from a young age. Be strong like you actually are and confront what hurts you," he states.

I can't say what he said is easy to do but I wan't to try. I need to try.

I pick at my fingers as I stare into the void. I feel hot tears find their way back into my eyes as they shed.

He slightly turns my face to look in his eyes as he says, "Stop holding everything in and let the world carry some of your shoulder weight. Okay?"

I meet his eyes and nod. He opens his arms, calling me for a hug.

I immediately take it as I cry, wetning his shirt. He strokes my hair and whispers, "Hush now, everything will be alright."

After a what feels like forever, I withdraw from Spencer's hug and stand up from the floor. My back and ass hurt from the discomfort of my previous seat. I rub them until I feel heat spark.

Spencer joins me as he stands beside me. He doesn't say a word and I'm grateful for that. He glances in my direction and flashes a weak smile. I return it.

"You know what I feel like?" He asks. I arch an eyebrow, waiting for his response. His face brightens up as he says, "Pancakes."

"Pancakes?"

"Yes, we should have some right now," he urges as he slightly jump with enthusiasm.

"It's almost midnight and you want to have breakfast?" I ask.

His face falls, "Who said pancakes are only for breakfast? I eat them for lunch, dinner, and midnight snacks, too."

Midnight snacks? I find it hard to believe it because anyone who looks at Spencer's figure would mistaken him for the fit guy who gulps down protein shakes as if they were water.

"Let's go," he offers his hand.

Should I take it? Why not? I mean, who am I to break his excitement for pancakes? In the end, no harm can come from it.

I lightly take it as I giggle to his weird cravings.