Road to Evergreen | #Wattys2016

t h i r t y

I wake up to my phone vibrating. I groan and turn to retrieve it but only to realize where I am. I jolt my eyes open as I sit straight. I'm not home. It's dark and the lights are off at the shop. I must have cried myself to sleep.

Shit, shit, shit, Lesley.

I grab my phone and answer, "hello?" My voice comes out awkward as I rub my eyes.

My hand still hurts.

The phone falls quite for few seconds, so I retract it away from my ear, and look at the ID number. I gulp down.

It's Adam.

Way to dodge his calls, Lesley.

Slowly, I close my eyes and listen to his unsteady breaths.

"Why?" He desperately asks. From his voice, I know he's miserable. I place my hand on my heart, breathing in sync with my heartbeats: one..two..three..four..five

Why? I can't tell him why. I don't know what to tell him.

"Where are you?" He asks, concerned. Why does he want to know? Should I tell him? But I made a promise not to see him again. I stay quiet, deciding it's the best decision.

"You're not home," he continues. It takes me off guard.

"How do you know that?" I ask, confused.

"Because I'm sitting on your bed, and you're not here," he answers.

I'm shocked to his response. What the hell? Adam in my house? In my room? Who let him in? It better not be my mother or Harry. If they did, they better await a long lecture from me.

"Why are you there?" I ask while I adjust myself on the concrete floor.

He catches his breath, "I miss you."

"No," A sob escapes my lips but I immediately cover my mouth. This isn't the time for me to be weak. I won't allow it.

I clear my throat, "Don't. Just please don't," I beg.

"I-I don't know what else to do, Lis," he stutters.

"I need you.

And having you push me away, gives me no other choice," he sighs in defeat.

My mind is deflecting with my heart. This is too much of an agony. I'm imagining him, sitting on my bed, head down, sad green eyes. I can almost touch his face, if only I was with him now.

He is my weakness but my strength. I know him for a month now, but I fell hard for him. I miss him too. I miss the way he used to play with my hair as I lay on his chest, cuddled in his warmth and affection. I miss the way his smile reached his eyes, as his body shook with laughter. I miss his intense eyes, telling me he loves me. I miss the way his kisses aroused flutters in my stomach. I miss him, too.

"Please leave my house. I don't want you there when I come." I say as my body shakes.

"You're so bitter," his voice sounded dead. "What happened to my Lesley?" he asks, pleading.

What happened to me? Everything happened. He has to move on. I can't torture him this way because it's breaking me even more.

God, I'm so sorry Adam.

"I-," I struggle finding the write words. "Adam, I-" I shake uncontrallably.

"Adam, please move on. What we had is over," I hear him suck in a breath. It's like someone just shot an arrow right into my heart. It stings.

"Don't I at least deserve an explanation?" he asks with a brittle voice. I shake my head, lost. This will forever haunt me.

Lesley, what have you done?

"I'm sorry, Adam," I hang up, and smash my phone on the wall.

I think it cracked, but I don't care now. I curl my body on the floor as I bury my face in my knees. I cry and shout like a maniac.

I can't do this anymore.