Road to Evergreen | #Wattys2016

t w e n t y - e i g h t

"I made pancakes!" I open my eyes to Megan holding a tray filled with food. But then immediately close them as light irritates my vision. I bury my head in my pillow and groan, "leave me alone!"

My blanket is ripped away from me as well as the pillow and I'm left laying on a flat mattress. I look up at smiley Megan, and squint my eyes, "what's with you today?"

"As I am your number one best friend slash sister, of course," she winks as she sits beside me. "Today, we will see a day full of sunshine and butterflies," she waves her hands toward the window, with a stupid grin on her face. "But first we will start it with a stack of pancakes," she then points at it.

As the smell of pancakes fill my nostrils, my stomach aches with hunger. But then disgust takes over as I remember what happened last night. My nightmares kept haunting me. Megan had to wake up several times because of my constant vomiting. I was grateful that she stayed, because I don't think I would've survived the night alone.

I smile weakly to Megan, "Thank you for going through the trouble, but I don't have an appetite." Her eyes turn into a frown as she let's out a sigh. She tries to shake off the dismal feeling by turning her vivid face back into a wide smile. God, she can be bipolar.

After putting the pancakes aside, she retrieves the blanket and pillow from the floor, and crawls in to bed. We both lay there, muted. "I know I push you sometimes to crack, and I can't pretend that I know what you're passing through, but I want to help. I'm sorry for the other day. By now, I know that when you want to talk, you will. I can't force you to. But I couldn't help just sitting there without helping," she shrugs and continues, "and if Adam has something to do with this, then girl, you better hold my poodle!" A laugh stumbles out of my mouth at Megan's imitation of White Chicks. It's our favourite movie, we basically watched it more than a hundred times.

After a while, my smile fades. I debate over telling Megan about what happened. I need to tell someone, or I will explode. I can trust her and I know she won't judge. I nod to my decision to tell her but get interrupted instead.

"So, I'm seeing this guy..," Megan shyly says.

I raise my eyebrow as curiosity wavers over me. "Go on," I urge her to speak. This takes me off by surprise but in a good way. It's been a long time since Megan spoke about a guy she has an interest in. Even before knowing who that guy was, I liked him immediately. If he can give her smiles instead of tears, then I'm happy.

"Well, we met around a month ago at this party on campus. At first, I saw him as a friend and not more. I thought he liked you because he kept asking about how you are doing and all." I eye her curiously but she ignores and continues, "But then, he kept trying to impress me in any way, bringing me flowers each day after waiting for me outside of class and then carrying my books. He even punched Finch in the nose after he saw him harassing me," she lets go of a laugh.

"He did what?" I cover my mouth in horror. "Oh wow, he must be something," I say as we both burst into laughter.

"That's not just it. He kissed me, two days ago at the coffee shop around the corner of campus. My first instinct was to slap him, which I did. You should've seen the look on his face. God, he was mortified," she let's out a giggle.

"Well, if he survived one of your slaps, then he is a definite keeper," I wink at her as she laughs even harder.

"Oh, shut up," she slightly pushes my arm back as she giggles.

"So.. who is he?" I finally ask, beaming with joy.

"You already know him...," she states out. Oh no, please don't say who I think you will. Please, God don't.

"..Jeremy."

The whole world just collapsed on my shoulder. The weight I'm carrying is far more worse than before. I feel dragged down, like an anchor swimming in an ocean of defeat.

Megan notices my sudden frown, and pouts, "What's wrong?"

I notice the way my reaction hurt her. But what was I supposed to do?

Sometimes, faking sadness is better than explaining why you are sad. So, how am I supposed to explain this? That her new boyfriend is a two-faced asshole or that he was the one who brought all this pain to me? I want to take out my phone and shove it into Megan's face forcing her to read the text messages; that would definitely explain everything. But how can I do that? She seems so happy and full on life, the contrast of me, and I'm supposed to take that away?

But she's happy with the wrong person, Lesley.

"I-I want to tell you something," I hesitate. She waits for me to continue but the worlds stumbles in finding the best way to say it. After seconds of struggling, I sigh in defeat.

"Lis, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" I meet her eyes. I meet wide concerned eyes. I won't tell her. I can't. Jeremy has to be the one who tells her. I'm going to make him crack.

"I'm eating all the pancakes, and you're getting none," I try my hardest to fake a smile as I bolt to the stack. Megan squeals as she races me to it. We both manage to fall several times before reaching those delicious pancakes she managed to do.

"Mmm- Megan these are amazing!" I state out as I shove them down my throat, shocked. She let's go of a laugh, "wait till you try out my lasagna for lunch."

"I can't wait!" I squeal. "But like to seriously, I can't wait. Can you please go start with lunch?" I ask as I point to the bedroom door with a serious tone. We both stare at each other for a few seconds and erupt into laughter, again.

For the first time, I'm laughing without an effort.