Wrong Match

Chapter Seventeen

Robyn

"Alright, I'm going now." I told Channing blankly as I took my keys off the kitchen side.

I was heading off to work. Channing has tried to be all sweet to me this morning, trying to show me his full attention. But it all seemed so forced, it's like once I let it go, I knew it was going to go back to being him focusing more on the television and the pharmacy  than me. 

"I was thinking about making dinner for us tonight, I'm going to be back from work earlier than usual. We can spend the whole evening together." Channing suggested.

If only he could have done stuff like this before I had an argument with him about it. I never told Chris to give me attention, I never told him to touch me in a certain way, I never told him to make me feel alive and special. He did that himself, he cared for me even when I was trying my hardest to push him away. However, for Channing I had to yell at him for him to get the message. It just don't feel as special when it's not coming from the heart.

"I don't know what time I'm getting back." I informed him.

"Just text me when you're on your way home. I love you." Channing got up from the chair and walked over to me.

He wrapped me up in his arms, leaving a kiss on my lips, I kissed back quickly then unwrapped myself from his embrace.

"I need to go." I told him with a little fake smile.

I don't want to be a bitch to him. I was just not in the loving mood. All these confusing thoughts and feelings, I can't get myself around them. I feel bad for playing them both along, I never meant for it to go this far, I never thought I would catch feelings for Chris. I know at some point I'm going to have to let one go.

"I love you." Channing repeated.

"Forever and ever." I replied lowly.

I then re fixed my jacket onto my shoulders, grabbing my phone then I left the house.

Getting into my car, driving to work in comfortable silence. I didn't want music, I just wanted to think about my situation. Even though Channing and I, are going through a rough time, can I really just divorce him? I have feelings for Chris, but I have never been in a relationship with him, I don't know how it feels to be his girl. It's just a big decision, to throw away history and memories I have with someone, for someone completely new and something totally different.

I pulled up to my work, getting out of the car and trying to leave my thoughts there too. As I have been doing loads of thinking about the same thing and it's driving me crazy, stressing me out.

"I approve of these new looks you're going for, Robyn." Ava greeted me outside my office with a Starbucks drink in her hand.

"Thank you." I sighed.

"Here's the usual." She smiled passing me the drink over.

"You have an hour spare until your new client comes in."

"New client? What about Christopher?" I asked in confusion.

I know me and Chris are not on good terms, and he don't want anything to do with me right now. However, this is business, he acting like he didn't know my situation before he tried to seduce me. It's not as easy as said just to drop everything, up and leave someone I spent my childhood with and built a home with.

"Oh, Christopher, he wanted to work with Madame Rose on some business." Ava informed me.

"Oh. Will he be joining me again soon?" I questioned in a curious manner.

"That is debatable. I think once he finishes up his project here, he would be moving on. Unless he wants to branch out more with us." Ava shrugged.

I nodded then walked into my office, closing the door up behind me. I placed my drink onto my table and took a seat on my office chair, just gazing outside my glass walls, waiting to see Chris' presences.

If Chris finishes his work here that will probably be the last time I'll see him again. Unless I choose him over Channing. I just need more than a week, this is a huge decision which comes along with a lot of consequences.

I pulled out some paper from my desk drawer, along with a pen. I'm going to write out the pros and the cons of being with Chris and being with Channing. I have tried everything to try but it's not working, so maybe doing this will help.

Channing Pros

- We know each other very well.
- I have known him since I was a child.
- We have been married for six years.
- He knows my family and my family loves him.
- We have a planned future together.

Christopher Pros

- He's loving and knows how I like to be treated.
- He gives me attention and makes me feel wanted.
- He's unbelievably amazing at making love.
- His touch and the words that he says make me feel special... gives me the butterfly feeling every time.
- He has a great personality and knows how to make me laugh.

Looking over my sheet of paper, I saw I had five main good points about them both. Maybe the cons will change it.

Channing Cons

- He forgets about me e.g. My birthday and our anniversary.
- He's always busy at work and has no time for me.
- Our sex life is boring.
- I don't get that tingly feeling when he touches me anymore.
- We hardly share cute and funny moments together anymore.

Christopher Cons

- I'm married.

I looked at my piece of paper for a bit, trying to think of some strong valid reasons for me not to be with Chris. I could only think of one, I'm married. But if I left Channing for Chris, that would no longer be an issue. However, if I left Channing that would cause heartbreak for Channing and I would feel like a bitch for doing that to him. It's even worse that I would be leaving him for someone else.

I snapped out of my thoughts and quickly threw my piece of paper into the drawer as I saw Chris walk out of Madame Rose's office. He had a little smile on his face, he was also dressed in an all black suit, making himself look very handsome. I wanted to hear his voice, be closer to him. So, I walked outside my office and quickly caught up with him before he got into the elevator.

"Chris - wait!" I called out to him.

"What, Robyn?" He snapped as he turned round, connecting eye contact with me.

"Uh." I thought about what to say to him without causing a scene at work.

"Could we meet up some time?" I finally asked.

He chucked darkly before he replied.

"If you want to meet up to show me your divorce papers, if not, then no."

"Please, Chris. Let's just talk." I begged him.

I just wanted to talk to him again. I miss being around him.

"There's nothing to talk abut. Him or me, Robyn." He spat.

He turned around and got into the elevator. I watched as the doors closed, his presence slowly fading away until he was gone, leaving me all alone.

- Kim.