Endless Love

43

"So why was your day bad?" Ryan said sitting across from me, his voice knocked me out of my thoughts about Josh and my crazy ass day. We were out having dinner on the rooftop of some building, but from where we were the skyline of New York was lit up, it looked perfect. I struggled to even get here, part of me was saying call it off tonight but I wasn't gonna do that.

"Just a whole bunch of things. I seen my delusional ass mom, she always manages to ruin my day everytime we're face to face so that's not new. I didn't get to talk to Lily cause she was sleeping, but I seen her earlier so I'm good."

"I'm sorry you're day didn't turn out the way you wanted it too, you should always have good days."

"That's not true, you have to experience bad in your life at some points. Or else you'll never learn." I said eating on my chicken alfredo and cheesy breadsticks. I was used to eating in my house but this was nice too, the only problem was my hair being frizzy as ever from this heat.

"I guess you're right, I never thought of it like that."

"Yeah, you know mistakes mature you and help you grow."

"Would you say it's the same way with relationships?"

"Sometimes, but there's certain circumstances where people just can't learn from the other, things take a while sometimes. Or you don't wanna let someone go."

"Well how about you? Do you think you let Josh go?" I paused and looked up at Ryan, I wasn't sure what to say cause in all honesty, I haven't. "You don't have to answer if you don't want I was just curious."

"I don't wanna sit here and lie to you, I don't think so, you know? I haven't talked to Josh in months, I haven't heard him, seen him. It's different than talking to someone and truly getting over them for good. So no right now I don't think I'm over Josh, like I'm sorry. He hasn't been here for me to say I am. But I do like what we have going on." I said looking directly at him so he knew I meant what I was saying.

"I understand that, I didn't expect you to say you were. But I like what we have going on too, I love it." He said smiling at me and eating on his food. "I love everything about you. Your mistakes, your flaws, all of it. Your imperfections, the way the humidity is eating your hair up right now, the frustrated look on your face."

"Shut up, my hair has a mind of it's own. And my mistakes aren't pretty and neither are my flaws."

"Yeah, but sometimes you find people that can look passed all that."

"I guess so. Can we not talk about this lovey shit? You're about to really get me in my feelings and this food is tasting too good to get sad." I said and he laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not stopping today, you make me stop every other day but not today."

"Why not? What's so special about today?"

"The question I wanna ask you."

"Didn't you already ask me? If I was over Josh? I answered you. How was your day though?"

"My day was alright I guess, I can't complain. But no Liyah, there's more I wanted to ask."

"Then can it wait until after we're done eating? Food is everything Ryan." I said stuffing my face in food and laughing, I wasn't trying to talk about anything serious so I was ready to think of any excuse to avoid anymore love questions. I hated talking about that stuff.

"No it can't wait. Liyah you're beautiful, and everything anyone could ask for. You're smart, independent, a great mom and you have a good heart. I knew around the time when I first met you that you were going to be someone that was important in my life. Even though we met in one of the worse ways."

"Yeah, you and your disgusting coffee."

"Shut up that's not the point," He said laughing and grabbing one of my hands and looking in my eyes. I could sense the seriousness in his eyes and I stared at him, letting him know he had my full attention. "I'm just ready to really give my all to you, invest time into you. I know you get yourself everything but I'd still love to spoil you and not just in materialistic ways, in the way of love too. I know you've gone through so much and been hurt back to back and it was just a repeating cycle, but not with me. Youmll never have to worry about anything like that with me. I wouldn't cheat on you, lie to you, I promise to always be honest with you. Loyalty is something of mine that doesn't have to be questioned." He said looking in my eyes and I felt my nerves starting to work up. I didn't kniw what to say just yet, so I kept quiet.

"I'm not done yet." He said standing up and looking at me, letting go of my hand. Then he kneeled down on one knee, and my mouth dropped, I covered my face cause I didn't know what to do. "No, my sneakers untied, chill."

"Oh my god, Ryan! Don't do that fucking shit to me again-" I uncovered my eyes and he really did have a small box in his hand.

"No I'm playing, if you were paying attention you would've seen both my sneakers are tied, and nah this box is empty I'm playing."

"You know what you sarcastic ass, don't make me get up and push you off this building." He opened the box up slowly, and he lied about the box being empty cause the diamond was huge, and was shining like it was lit up.

"I know, I know. I love you too, but Liyah will you marry me?" It didn't really hit me until he said the words. I sat there in silence cause I didn't know what to say, for the first time in a while I was lost for words. I could hear Josh's voice echoing in my mind how we would always get married, how he was going to make it his goal to marry me. But what if Josh never wakes up, and all that Ryan just told me made feel like this new thing I have is something great, it could be the right thing for me, my only problem was getting over Josh, I need to learn how to now be able to move on and live my life without him.

"It doesn't have to be now, or in a few weeks. We can wait until like, New Years if you think that's what you'd want. That way it can be a new year and a new us. Everything can just be a fresh start, and it can give you time to really think it out, and-"

"Yes."