Endless Love

48

"Look, I didn't know this was going to happen I'm just as shocked as you are." I said looking at Ryan as he came in and shut the door, and I immediately sobered up, cause I know I'd fight back if I needed to but I wanted to try and be calm first.

"Liyah-"

"Nope let me finish." I said cutting him off and he stopped talking and just stood there.

"I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I seem out of it right now, it's not a secret that I am. That was something I didn't expect to happen at all, he woke up and I'm not gonna lie, it has my feelings all over the place right now, my mind is bouncing in my head right now."

"Listen, stop." He said putting his arms around me and hugging me, he's surprisingly taking all of this well and calmly.

"I understand, I know it's hard right now. He just woke up out of no where and you have to explain all of this, and I know you need time. Take as much time as you need."

"Thanks? You took that surprisingly well."

"I did, it's not your fault he's awake, he's Lily's dad you have to do the best you can to explain everything, we can keep everything on hold."

"Thanks, at least someone understands, I expected you to come here screaming and fighting with me."

"I mean the camera's and annoying questions will be in our face even more the next few weeks but that's normal, we can deal with that, especially you."

"Shut up." I said and looked over at Tay, she was in the hallway still. I'm glad she didn't leave with Lily cause after the accident, I've been real on point with who she goes with now, I just can't lose her.

"You want me to take her to see Josh?" Tay said as her and Lily got up from the floor in the hallway.

"You should go, none of this is going to be easy but you should still go, let it be a start." Ryan said looking at me, encouraging me to go down to the hospital. I wanted too, but I had my reasons of why I didn't want too. I didn't wanna cause a scene at a hospital, and now that Josh is up, that means every magazine, news channel, sports anchors, fans, are all down there and I don't know if I wanted to go through with it.

"I guess I'll go too. But we have to try another entrance, not the front, I'm sure the front it crowded."

"Thanks again for being understanding." I said hugging Ryan and looking in his eyes I could see he still had hope, I just don't know if I had it anymore.

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We got to the hospital, circling all around it looking for an entrance to go in peacefully but there wasn't any, crowds of people were at every entrance. Just because Josh was gone for a year, none of his fame or fans left and usually it's the other way around for people, but Josh just happens to defeat all odds.

"I'm going to let you guys off here, so you won't have to try and walk half way through the parking lot with people stuck to you guys like flies." She pulled up at an entrance and let us off. I opened the door and grabbed Lily, holding her in my arms and putting her hood over her face, and I started to walk towards the door and there was the screaming and questions being thrown left and right.

"What's next for you and Josh?"

"Are you two getting back together? Did you leave Ryan for Josh?"

"Is it true that Josh is fighting for full custody?"

Were just some of the questions out of many that caught my ears, Josh hasn't even been up 24 hours and they're in the bullshit already. I barged my way through the front door and went straight to the elevator, they knew me in there all ready, I always just waved to the person at the desk.

I went straight to the elevator and still held Lily, just in case there was more people up there. I wasn't ready to see his family, I haven't seen them in months but I'd be alright if I did, I didn't owe anybody an explaination of the choices I made. I walked in his room and Lily's eyes glowed and she got excited to see him.

"How's my girl doing? You know I missed you." I sat her down on the side of the bed beside him and he grabbed her and hugged her tight in his arms. I couldn't help but cry cause I know she missed him so much, and so did I. I sat in the chair next to his bed and didn't say anything, and he didn't either. I didn't look at him, I just looked up at the TV that was on and of course he was watching a football game.

"I'm good, but when do you get to go home? Aren't you tired of laying down?" Lily asked him and he laughed.

"When I get better, and I am I guess I've been laying down for almost a year. That's a long time huh?"

"It is, mommy said I was sleep for almost half a year." He looked over at me and I looked at him and he seemed like he was confused, I guess he didn't know about it, or forgot.

"She was in a coma for a little more than 4 months."

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I let that happen to you." He said kissing her head, and then looked at me. "I'm sorry Liyah, you were by yourself during all of this."

I didn't say anything and looked away and kept watching the TV, I didn't want him to apologize to me cause I know more was coming.

"Well, I guess you weren't too alone if you were gonna get married not to long ago."

"Josh this isn't the fucking time! Visit with Lily and just leave me out of it!" I said sitting there and putting my hand over my head. I hated that my drunk mind went away, that I was feeling sober but hungover at the sametime only within an hour. If Tay never came we wouldn't of even been down here, I wasn't ready to see him even though Lily was.

"Alright, alright. Just answer some questions for me, first off did Sabrina have the baby? Was it mine?"

"She lost it not to long after you got in here." I said picking up a newspaper and flipping through it. I didn't want to look at Josh, but the least I could do was answer some questions he had for me cause I know there must be many.

"Damn. I know soon as I get out of here she'll blame me for that. Alright, I just got one more question."

"Did you miss me? Do you even still love me?"

"What did I tell you earlier? I was still here everyday just about with you, I brought Lily too when she woke up. I checked on you everyday. If that's not a good enough reason to show I love you then I don't know Josh." I said sarcastically and reading the paper the paper.

"Do you love him more than me?"

"I'm not answering anything about Ryan." I said looking at him and he was giving me that look, I quickly looked away and shut the paper and kissed Lily's head, she was halfway sleep on Josh and I was happy one of us was gonna get some sleep. He stayed quiet and held her, and I stayed quiet too. You could feel the heartbreak and tension in the room and it was something different, I missed Josh but I know he didn't believe me, for the first time I was feeling like he would feel sometimes, like nothing I say or do is going to make things right.