2: That Erotic Nights (S-Chapter Update)

Chapter twenty three: Stupid Flames

23

Devine's POV

Naka tingin lang siya sakin sobrang tagal na parang gusto ko nang umiyak sa harap niya. I was the one who looked down first and turn my back. Sapat na siguro ang binigay kong oras para sabihin niya sakin yung mga gusto niyang sabihin pero hindi naman siya nag sasalita. Nasasaktan ako di dahil sa Ayaw niyang mag salita..Nasasaktan ako dahil wala siyang lakas ng loob na sabihin sakin yung totoo. Kahit na alam ko na ang rason niya gusto ko paring mariig iyon mula sakanya. Oo martyr na kung martyr, Ganun na siguro talaga. Kahit na nasasaktan kana Hindi mo parin maiwasang hindi magalit kasi Mas nangingibabaw yung pag mamahal mo sakanya. Mas Iniintindi mo yung problema kesa sa magalit ka..

The moment I turn my back on him for the second time I cried. I breakdown. I was crying so silently hoping that he doesn't hear me. It hurts so much now. I should be happy now right? I should be happy that he finally wants to marry me after a very long time of waiting.

"Bumalik ako para pakasalan ka ulit Devine... and this time I'm ready.."

Umiiyak ako hanggang sa hindi kona mapigilan yung pag-iyak ko. Sobrang sakit sa dib-dib. Knowing He doesn't came back because he was sorry but because he wants me back in his life.

I was leave dumbfounded after our arrange marriage last year tapos sasabihin niya saking bumalik siya para Pakasalan ako ulit? Mas tatanggapin kopa kung sasabihin niya saking Nag sisisi siya bakit niya un ginawa at susubukan niyang Ayusin yung Pag kakaibigan namin pero hindi eh. After what happened We can't stay friends. We can't stay talking like nothing happened, like It was okay kahit hindi.

"You can't..just expect me to say yes right? Isang taon kang nawala, Ni hindi kanga nag paalam.. b-basta ka nalang umalis. Sana man lang sinabi mo sakin yung totoo na Hindi mo ako mahal na hindi mo ako gusto.. Sana sinabi mo nalang na si Lia ang mahal mo.. Alam ko naman eh. K-kahit naman na Mahal kita nuon Hindi naman kita pipiliting pakasalan ako dahil alam kong ang bestfriend ko ang gusto mo. We're childhood friends Ian. Alam mo nuon palang na ikaw na ang gusto ko. I know. You just did that because you don't want to hurt me, Ayaw mong saktan ako pero sa ginawa mo lalo lang akong nasaktan.. Maiintindihan ko naman kung hindi mutual ang feelings natin.. Masakit oo. Pero hindi sana ganito kasakit.."

I wipe the tears in my face. I've never been this brave in my whole twenty three years of excistence. Nagpapakatatag ka pero sa loob loob mo gusto mo nang sumuko. Sana ako nalang yung umalis eh. Sana ako nalang yung nang iwan sa kanya.

"S-sana nilakasan mo yung loob mo.. Na Imblis na umalis ka kasi hindi ka niya gusto dapat naging matapang ka. I saw you that day.. You were with my bestfriend.. You told her you liked her diba? She knows everything about me and you. She knows how I am so Into you. Sobrang saya niya nuon nang malaman niyang mag papakasal na tayo. Sabi panga niya kahit arrange marriage lang daw iyon kasal parin yon. Ang importante raw Ikakasal na ako sayo.. Maybe I trusted you so much. o Baka msyado lang akong umasa nuon.. I-I.. I just thought that after we get married you can somewhat love me back kahit paunti-unti.. But then I realized I shouldn't. That I shouldn't expect everything will happen according to my plan. That I forgot you have your own plans."

I am breathing so hard and I can't see straight. My vision is blurry because of my flowing tears. I was really hurt that I can't barely survive a day after that Incident. Okay na lahat eh. But then If It's meant to happen It will happen. Wala na kaming nagawa kundi I cancel ang wedding. Everything. We have to cancel everything. I think the most bravest thing I did that day Is to explain to the people why we cancel the wedding. Hindi ko alam pano ko hinarap lahat ng tanong nila. But I manage anyway.

"I thought you came back because you want to fix everything. That you we're sorry for me. That you were wrong. I thought you'd tell me everything that you'll ask for my forgiveness. Ganyan ba talaga kayo? Kung kelan masaya na kami, naka move-on na kami, Kung kelan okay na kami duon kayo babalik? Bakit hindi dun sa part na kailangan namin kayo? Na gusto naming bumalik kayo samin, na Hindi kami okay hanggat di tayo okay.. Bakit hindi ron? Bakit ngayon na Okay na lahat? Bakit kung kelan hindi na namin kayo kailangan duon kayo bumabalik? Isang taon na ang nakalipas Ian.. You were One year late already. Marami nang nag bago, nangyari. Sana nuon kapa bumalik. Sana Hindi mo na inintay na dumating yung araw na Hindi na kita mahal."

I was talking between my sobs. I don't care If he can understand me or not. I've been carrying this for a long time so I need to let this out now.

He step forward kaya't naalarma ako. Before he can come near me I stoped him already.

"Don't. I got enough already." I turn my back and this time It's final. I've already told him what he can't told me. I finished it for him.

I enter my car and close the door weakly. I felt drained. Nawala lahat ng lakas ko ngayon.

After a few subs I wipe my tears and start my car. I drive away from him. Kahit saan nalang ata maalaka ko siya. He gave me so much scars in my life. Maybe he can't remember that place because It change so much. I won't forget that playground.. Because of that I fell in love with him so much. I didn't realized that I'll love him that much until I noticed my self writing down our names in flames. Stupid Flames. I shake my head and laugh at It. Naalala kopa nuon na nag tatalo kami ng bestfriend ko kapag hindi Love ang lumabas samin ni Ian lagi lang kasing friend.

Maybe he should start to do something for Lia dahil siya naman yung talagang gusto niya kesa yung sakin siya lagi nag fofocus.

So I can start my own too. I know when I saw him that day when he came back, a lot of things has change including my feelings for him. I was confused about like and caring. Now Maybe I should start to open my heart into someone that will actually liked me, That will do everything for me.

I shouldn't told him I loved Ian when in reality He was the one that I like. I was just afraid to admit It. I know It's stupid.

Bukas na bukas kakausapin ko agad siya and try to fix everything. So we can maybe start dating again? or We could be in a realationship if we work things out. No Maybe right now.

We should talk right now. Ilang araw narin kaming hindi nagkikita at nag- uusap. Hindi naman problema kung saan ko siya hahanapin dahil alam ko kung saan ang apartment at club niya. I was so determined right now so I didn't think twice as I turn my car around to go ahead in his apartment first. Besides I owe him big for this car.