the rant book

today in government

based on a true story that just happened just now that was totally true

teacher: in californa there's been that bad drought, right? and you know the man tom sellek, do u kno who he is?

do u kno what he was busted for?

me: deez nuts

my friend: *pterodactyl sscreeches*

teacher: *hurls me into the sun*

fuckboy in the background: lmao i didn't know that california is in a drought. i didn't believe it i don't believe it. it ain't real right bro?

other fuckboy: yea bro

*stares longingly into each other's eyes*

no homo tho bro