the rant book

still angry. probably am gping tp be for a while.

im just so fucking amaIfed I'm amazed. Hws literally like family to me. He influences what i think down to the music i listen to. It's just so fjcking amazing that he's going to treat me like i've been oblivious to the state of my closest friend.

so u don't
U don't think I know how my friend is? He said before, at the party that he doesn't want to talk to me about it. Literally right in front of you. And my birthday he walked off w you to talk and told me to stay behind. And when you guys went to the bedroom.

You don't think i didn't realize that? Im not fucking oblivious. just because i don't throw everything i know around like a fucking flower gitl w pedals doesn't mean i'm a dumbass.
i just am so fucjgutntfmad.

Tell me what's going on w our friend but don't try to make it that i m in the dark. I'm done ranting im just so nad this shit gave me such a massive fucking anxiety attack i couldntn breathe thanks.
Thanks sk.

He doesn't even fucking realize the fact im even here is vecause I care. Its so bad at home i want to leave. I have the opportunity to.  he doesn't even know that right? Im here because of my friends. Im not here because i love kenosha so nuch. Theres notging holding me back besides them so he better not tell me this bullshit whagever about what we need to do

Im going to be the ride. Im going to think of what we're going to do. Stop making me feel like bdcause he opened up to you that jm not doing my part as a friend seriously what t-3 fuck

if i get shit from one more person i will cut them out so fast their god damn head will spin off their head.

I don't care how severe that is i don't care how childish i sohnd ive been   HERE dealing w this shit where have you been

wasnt wfucking there the night he told me for the first time he was self harming in 8th grade on the DC trip.
Wasnt there the night i got into hand to hand confrontation with my mom bc she said things about him being gay. Wasnf there when he had to recome out to his dad and he fucking cried and i had to hold him and keep it together myself because my best fucking friend was fuxkinf scared his dad wouldnt accept him.

He waant there when all of his friends found out the day after he went to winnebago because he made an attemot. i was in bed all day crying into the phone deleting voice recording after voice recording to leave in his fucking mail box because i tried to make that i fucking was waiting for him to come back
home.

Where was hestop  doing that to me