Stumbling through the dark

And?

Niall paced around the luxurious waiting room, unable to keep still. Louis watched him , wishing there was something he could say to calm the young irish man down. All the boys had offered to accompany Niall to his appointment with the Consultant Neurologist and Louis had been rather surprised when he had been the one Niall asked to go with him. He thought that Liam would have been the one as he tended to be the daddy of the band. Louis finally stood up and wrapped his arms around Niall, stopping the relentless movement. Niall laid his head on Louis' shoulder , his body tense with the stress he was under. Louis patted his back , a gentle rhythmic thump that began to sooth the anxious boy.

"Mr Horan? If you'd like to follow me?"

NIall and Louis went after her as she led the way down a short corridor and into a large office. The Consultant rose as they entered and held out his hand to shake. He was somewhat puzzled to see two men.

"I was expecting just Mr Horan" he remarked.

"I'm Niall Horan. This is my friend Louis Tomlinson. " Niall said nervously.

"I see. Perhaps Mr Tomlinson could wait for you in the waiting room. I'll arrange tea or coffee for you, Mr Tomlinson"

"No, please" Niall asked "I want him to stay with me"

"It is rather unorthodox, Mr Horan. I usually see my patients alone. I would prefer that..."

"If he goes, then I 'll go. Please, I really need him here"

"Very well. Please take a seat, both of you" He indicated the chairs and both young men sat. Niall nervously shuffling around in his chair. Louis looked relaxed but he was doing his best to appear so in order to help keep Niall calm.

The Consultant studied the notes Dr Beck had sent to him before starting to ask Niall various questions. He made notes as he went along.After a time he buzzed for his nurse to come and take Niall to the examination room. Even though the Consultant frowned, Louis followed them. He was going to do his level best to make sure Niall wasn't alone. They had promised him they'd be with him every step of the way and Louis was making sure they kept that promise.

"I hate these stupid gowns" Niall whined as he sat ready on the examination couch. "Why the f.ck do I have to wear it. Boxers would be just fine".

"Dunno, mate" Louis responded. "I bet they just like to make us know they are in charge. Keep us in our place. Actually, you look cute in it" Louis snapped a quick photo of Niall and sent it to the others. Niall groaned. The Consultant entered at that point and began his examination of Niall who was starting to get fractious. He'd already been through this with Dr Beck. After what seemed like hours but was only twenty minutes in reality, the Consultant finished and remarked that he would just get his nurse to take some blood samples then she would take him to have some scans done. Niall grew pale as he enquired what the scans would involve. He started to sweat when he was told he would be having an MRI. He started to panic as he knew his claustrophobia was already kicking in at the mere thought of being trapped in a scanner. Louis saw the sweat forming on Niall's forehead and stepped in.

"Ni has severe claustrophobia. Is the scan necessary" he asked.

"Unfortunately yes, Mr Tomlinson, as it will enable me to either confirm or dismiss the cause of Niall's problems. I can offer sedation if that would help? And, under the circumstances, I will allow you into the room to be with Mr Horan. Obviously you will only be able to talk with him but if it helps him to relax?" He raised his eyebrows in question. Niall sighed with relief . "I'll arrange that then." The Consultant then left as the nurse came to to the blood samples and to administer the sedative the Consultant had prescribed.

Niall lay quietly on the gurney. He felt very light and floaty though he was aware of things happening around him. He just felt he couldn't be bothered to take note. The nurse checked him carefully then smiled saying the sedative seemed to be in effect now so they would take him down to the scanner. A porter pulled the gurney down the corridor while Louis kept hold of Niall's hand. Once in the room, Niall started to breath more rapidly but Louis spoke to him encouragingly and he calmed down . Louis assisted the nurse to situate Niall onto the bed that would slide into the hollow tube. She fitted headphones carefully over his ears then handed Louis a small microphone that would enable him to talk to Niall. Niall was told to stay very still and not speak himself then the technician pressed the controls and the bed slowly moved into place inside the scanner. Louis spoke quietly to his friend then sang some soft songs that he thought would make Niall relax further.

Niall was in the scanner for an hour and it was a relief when the bed started to slide out. The nurse took the headphones off Niall then covered him with a blanket as he was shivering slightly. She advised him to just rest while they checked the scan before he was allowed to go. After a few minutes she returned to say that the scan went well and they had all they needed. A porter arrived to take Niall back to a room where he was told to rest and allow the sedation to wear off. Louis was glad the scanning part was over and that Niall had come through it without being distressed. Niall was tired after the stress of the examination and scan and had fallen asleep. Louis just sat there, holding Niall's hand and wondering what the scan would show. He was hoping it was a false alarm but deep in his bones, he somehow knew the results were not going to be good.

An hour or so later, Niall was sat up in the hospital bed, drinking tea when the Consultant tapped on the door and entered. He drew up a chair next to Niall and Louis and cleared his throat. " I have now seen your scan, Mr Horan and also have the results of the others tests. I'm sorry, but yes, it does confirm our suspicions. You do have Multiple Sclerosis" He hated having to give bad news , especially to someone so young, but it was a part of the job. "There are treatments that can help and we will get you started on that. There are also various support groups that I can recommend. I also think you should consider therapy".

"Therapy?" Louis questioned. "How does that help?"

"It often can be helpful in as much it allows the patient to accept and deal with the diagnosis. Often how a patient thinks can affect their health both physical and mental. It is something I strongly recommend and we do have an excellent Clinical Psychologist here. There is no need to make quick decisions. I am sure Mr Horan , here, will need time to process what is happening. I'll get my secretary to sort out some appointments for you, Mr Horan but you are free to dress and leave now, if you feel ready. Please don't rush" He shook hands with both of them and left the room .

"NIaller, you ok?" Louis looked across at his friend. Niall was frozen in shock. Although he knew in his heart that today would only confirm the diagnosis, part of him refused to believe it. Now any pretence that this wasn't real had ended and Niall was frozen. He felt numb. Louis looked at him with sad eyes then , seeing Niall was still unmoving, picked up Niall's clothing and slowly took of the hospital gown then silently dressed his bandmate in his normal clothing like he was a small child. He then pulled Niall into a tight hug and whispered in his ear. "We'll get through this, Ni. We'll get through this together." Niall remained still and unresponsive in his arms.

Niall was silent the whole journey back to his home. Louis tried talking but there was no response so he stopped.Niall was quickly out of the car when it stopped and headed straight through the hall and up to his room,. He closed and locked the door behind him before sitting down on his bed. Confused thoughts filled his head and words from the half remembered information he had googled, flooded his mind. How could he live like this? He didn't want to live like this.

Harry, and Liam had looked at Niall then at each other as he passed them without speaking. Louis came in at that point, his eyes filled with the tears he'd been holding back for Niall's sake.

"And?" Harry asked quietly. Louis nodded yes and broke down.

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