Stumbling through the dark

"Jacey.............Stay"

Niall cradled Aoife in his arms as he waited for the Emergency services to arrive. He prayed wordlessly as he looked at his daughter's bloodless face, so white she resembled the death he feared for her. He pleaded with her to wake up, to talk to him, to tell she was all right. He was so lost that he had to physically be moved out of the way when the paramedics arrived and started to tend to his daughter. He couldn't lose her, not his Aoife. Wasn't it enough he'd been robbed of Caoimhe?

"Sir, come with me" one of the Paramedics touched his arm gently and Niall stared at him in confusion. "You can come with us" the man softly nudged Niall towards the door and out to the waiting ambulance. Niall sat opposite Aoife watching without comprehension as the paramedics checked on her, the wailing of the siren not even penetrating his mind.

"I'm sorry, love, you have to wait here" the nurse told him kindly but firmly "let the doctors look after her. Someone will come to you soon but they need to see to your daughter" She pushed Niall down into a seat and he stared blankly at the swing doors the nurse disappeared through. He had to do something but what? His mind seemed incapable of sensible thought so he continued to sit there, like a stone statue, emotionally numb.

Niall had no idea how long he had been sat in the cold, impersonal surroundings of the waiting room. It was like time had ceased to exist. He jumped a hand on his shoulder shook him gently.

"Mr Horan?" Niall looked up into the face of the middle aged doctor who was looking down at him, his face compassionate. He sat next to Niall and waited patiently for Niall to focus on him. Niall blinked at him slowly, shaking his head slightly to shift the horrible dizzy sensation. "Mr Horan?" the doctor repeated.

"Aoife...how's Aoife?" Niall's voice sounded rusty, like each word was a struggle to get out.

"Your daughter is out of danger. It was touch and go for a time but she will be fine. Unfortunately the placenta had ripped and we had to do an emergency Cesarean. She has lost a lot of blood but we are giving her some transfusions to help"

"Oh my G*d..the baby... what about the baby?" the doctor's words about the Cesarean sunk in and Niall felt a sense of dread.

"The baby is currently in the SCBU She's obviously very small not being full term and she needs help with her breathing and so forth. She looks like a strong little girl. But, unless there are unforeseen complications, she should be fine ." The doctor patted Niall's shoulder then stood up . Your daughter is in recovery at the moment and will be taken to her room shortly but would you like to see your granddaughter?"

Niall looked through the viewing window at the incubator that held his tiny granddaughter. She was so tiny , had so many wires attached to her.He closed his eyes. How could anything so small survive. He jumped when a nurse touched his shoulder. "I know she looks very tiny right now but she is strong. We'll take good care of her for you. Your daughter is back in her room now. I'll take you there when you're ready". Niall nodded and followed her as she led the way down the long corridor .

Niall pulled the hard plastic chair up to the side of Aoife's bed and stroked her long hair away from her face. Her skin felt warmer to his touch now and the paleness had been replaced by a very slight warmer color. She looked so tiny and so like Caoimhe that he felt his heart clench as memories of his last moments with his wife stabbed him with pain. He blinked hard, trying to stem the tears but they would have their way and poured down his cheeks. He had lost his Caoimhe but, by the grace of G*d and the skill of the doctors and nurses, he still had his daughter and granddaughter.He took hold of Aoife's free hand and held it gently.

Aoife whimpered in pain as the effects of the anaesthetic began to leave her system. Niall jerked awake from the light doze he had fallen into and he quickly pressed the nurses call bell. A motherly looking nurse quickly answered ., suggesting that Niall go and get himself a drink whilst she attended to Aoife. Niall stood stiffly and bent to kiss Aoife's forehead before leaving her to the nurses ministrations. Once away from all the medical equipment he placed a call to Taylor telling him what had happened. Taylor and Liam were quick to say they would head straight back to the UK, Liam arranging a private jet so there would be as little delay as possible. Niall headed back to Aoife's room.

"Da" Aoife began to cry when Niall walked back into the room.

"It's OK, you're OK, pumpkin" he soothed her.

"My baby" she whispered " I want my baby"

"I know, Princess, but she's being looked after. I've seen her" Niall spoke as reassuringly as he could.

"Once you are free of the IV, I'll pop you in a wheelchair and take you to see her, my love" the nurse promised."Now you just have another little sleep and you'll feel brighter when you wake up." She tucked the bed covers around Aoife and dimmed the lights.

"Da..I want Taylor"

"He's coming, Princess. He's already on his way. Please sleep now, for me?" Niall smiled at her and was grateful when her eyes fluttered shut and she fell back into sleep. He sat back down next to her and closed his own eyes. He hated to admit it but he felt dreadful. He winced in pain as a "MS hug' shot through him. The stress wasn't helping.

"Don't wake him up" Aoife whispered to the nurse. He looks so tired". The nurse nodded understandingly as she carefully assisted Aoife into the wheelchair before tucking a warm blanket over her. Aoife grimaced as the stitches from her surgery tugged with every small movement. But she didn't care, she was going to see her baby. The nurse propped the door open and pushed the wheelchair out of the room. She was just about to close the door behind her when Jacey appeared in response to the brief text Niall had sent her earlier. After a brief conversation with Aoife and the nurse, she slid quietly into the room and stood studying the small man who was huddled into the hard chair .He looked quite ill. Reluctantly Jacey shook him awake.

"I want to stay. I'm not going!" Niall snapped irritably.

"Ni, be reasonable. You need to rest, Aoife needs to rest." Jacey said reasonably. "She asked me to take you home. She's worried about you" Jacey played her trump card and watched as Niall deflated. "Come on, let's take you home" She led Niall out of the hospital to the waiting car. There wasn't much traffic and they were soon back at the house where she ushered him in and straight up the stairs to his bedroom. "Bed " she said firmly, pushing towards it.

After giving Niall a reasonable amount of time to follow instructions, she reentered the room, smiling at the sight that met her. Niall was asleep, sprawled on the top of the bed, still fully clothed. She gently removed his trainers and careful unzipped his jeans, carefully peeling them down his legs until she could pull them off. She then eased his body under the bedcovers, pulled the blinds shut and started to leave the room.

"Jacey...." Niall mumbled 'stay...."

A/N Aoife suffered from Placenta Abruption..where the placenta is torn away. I have described this accurately as how it felt when it happened to me with my last baby. Sadly I lost my little one but I didn't want Aoife to have the same fate.