Stumbling through the dark

Stepping In

"Lou, is that you?" Liam looked towards the sound of the front door slamming shut, frowning.

"Yeah" Louis confirmed as he entered the living room. He kept his head down, embarrassed that his eyes were puffy and red from crying so much. Liam's frown deepened and he put his fingers under Louis' chin, lifting his head so he could look into his face.

"Oh, Bro" he said sympathetically. "Want to talk?" Louis just shrugged and sat down on the couch, leaning his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. Liam sat beside him and patted his thigh. "Lou, I can see you are upset. Don't shut me out". Louis remained silent and Liam thought he wasn't going to answer but eventually Louis spoke, his voice so quiet that Liam had to strain to hear.

"I just panicked. I think Ni is going to die and he's mad at us and I just wanted him to know I'm sorry for being such a f.cking.sh*t. Li, I don't want him to die" Louis turned to look at Liam, his expression bleak.

"Lou, we all want the best for Ni. We got scared. Ni understands. Deep down, he understands" Liam said trying to comfort his friend.

"Li, what if he dies? We...I..have to live with him dying thinks we didn't want to support him with this treatment."

"He's NOT.GOING.TO.DIE" Liam shouted , punctuating every word. "Don't say that" he continued harshly, the tight control he had had on his emotions finally giving way. "He can't , he mustn't" Liam stormed from the room and Louis heard as he crashed his way up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door loudly. Louis sighed and curled up in a tight ball on the couch, relieving the fight the four boys had had about Niall's treatment until, emotionally drained, he tangled his small fingers in his hair and replicated the soothing feeling of Niall stroking his hair. He slept.

Niall had called them all together after his appointment with Paul Taylor. Paul had suggested that Niall try to explain his reasons for wanting this treatment and to answer the boys questions. It hadn't gone well. The other boys were too worried about the treatment and Niall hadn't managed to convince them he knew what he was doing. It had ended up with them all having an enormous fight with Niall storming off when Louis was begging him to think again. Niall hadn't spoken to the boys since that fight , and Niall had gone through the chemotherapy stage of his treatment refusing to allow the boys to visit. He ignored calls and texts. He was too hurt. The boys were hurt too ,but they couldn't stay away . It was only when the hospital had managed to contact Louis again that they found out just how near death Niall was . They couldn't be kept  away after that. But Niall didn't know they were there. He didn't know how heartbroken and scared they were. Niall was in a place where they couldn't reach him. And now, what if he died, not knowing how much they loved and cared for him?

"Damn" the nurse said under her breath. She carefully rolled Niall more onto his side and propped him up with pillows to stop him rolling back onto his back. She cast an expert eye over the wires and tubes to make sure none had become detached by her changing Niall's position. Even with all the care they had taken, the bed sores Niall had developed looked like they had become infected. The nurse immediately left the room to summon Doctor Peters. What was easily dealt with when a patient had a good immune system , for Niall had become something extremely dangerous.

"Yes, you are right. They are infected. I'll prescribe some antibiotics. We need to get that started quickly. We don't have time to waste" The doctor quickly wrote out his instructions which the nurse was swift to follow. Doctor Peters closed his eyes briefly then opened them again. This was not going well. Everything that could go wrong seemed to be happening. He looked down at his patient, so frail. "Fight, Niall"

The corridor lights had been dimmed as were  the lights in Niall's room. Louis was sat in a chair close to Niall's bed, knees drawn up, arms wrapped around his legs and his forehead resting on his knees. He wasn't asleep but neither was he  awake. He'd gone to some twilight place in his mind where he floated through his memories. X-Factor, touring, Niall's face laughing as fooled with his bandmates. Zayn. Niall playing his guitar. Forcing Niall to vomit up the alcohol and pills, their fight.  Memories that flowed around him, some that soothed, some that hurt.Louis  suddenly stood up and began to pace the room. How much more could he take? How much more could Niall take? He sat back down and possessed himself of Niall's hand, drawing patterns on the back on it with his thumb. "Ni, you can't die on me" he whispered.

Preston looked completely out of place wearing the surgical gown, cap and mask as he entered Niall's room. He looked down at Niall, shocked at the sight then reached out and marked a cross on Niall's hot forehead, lips moving in a silent prayer. Then he scooped Louis up and walked from the room, taking him down to a room on a lower floor. A waiting nurse soon had Louis out of his clothing and tucked into the bed. Louis didn't even stir.  "He'll go mad when he wakes up" Preston commented.

"Yeah, well, better that than letting this continue. He hasn't eaten for days, even getting him to drink has become a nightmare. None of us feel great but Louis is falling apart. It's bad enough with Ni. Will you stay with him?" Preston nodded assent and Harry gave him a grateful look. "I'll go be with Ni for a bit. Thanks Preston" Harry gave Louis a brief glance then left the room , to take his turn to sit with Niall.

"Hey Li, when did you get here?" Harry wanted to know as he entered Niall's room to see Liam already sitting there.

"About 20 minutes ago. Louis OK?" Liam asked anxiously

"He's still asleep. He didn't even wake up when he was undressed. He'll kill us when he does"

"Better that than him killing himself through neglect, which he would have done if we hadn't stepped in. He's a mess.  We all had that fight with Ni, but Louis seems to think he's responsible for everything. We're all to blame" Liam sounded bitter.

The two young men held a desultory conversation then it fell silent.

Cough. Cough

"You getting a cold, Hazza?You shouldn't be here if you are" Liam chided, looking at Harry

"I'm not. I thought you were coughing". They both turned to the bed as Niall coughed again. Several machines began to bleep and the heart monitor sped up to what seemed like one long continuous beep. Nurses rushed into the room and Liam and Harry were roughly shoved out, the door closing behind them. They clutched each other in terror as more medical staff arrived. Pure terror surged through their veins.