Stumbling through the dark

"Don't Let Me Down"

Strong arms caught Niall and slowly lowered his limp body down to the floor, carefully supporting him so he didn't hurt himself. Niall's eyelashes fluttered slightly then his blue eyes opened, a confused look on his face as he looked into the golden brown eyes of the man who was cradling him in his arms. He blinked in shock then Jacey arrived swiftly at his side, pushing everyone out of her way so that she could check on him. Niall tried to escape from her ministrations but she tried to refuse to allow it.

"Stay still, Niall. Let's just make sure you're ok" Jacey said firmly but Niall wasn't in the mood to listen to her and struggled to his feet, swaying slightly, clutching onto Zayn, his face white with shock from seeing the very last person he ever thought he'd see again.

"M'fine, " Niall whispered, moving away from her and clinging to the tall man who was looking at him, head tilted to one side, a worried expression on his face.He smiled gently at the smaller, blond man as he steadied him on his feet.

"Hey, bro. You, OK?" he asked softly.

"Z.Z...Zayn?" Niall stammered. "You're here" And suddenly he was wrapped up in a tight hug. Zayn kept blinking, trying to prevent the tears that were filling his eyes from pouring down his face. He didn't know how he felt as he was assaulted by so many emotions. Louis stood looking at them both, smirking slightly. His planning had worked. Harry caught his eye, and glared at him and Louis sighed softly. He knew neither Harry or Liam had agreed with him but Niall and Zayn had to be given the opportunity  to sort themselves out, to repair the damage.They were worried that Zayn would again disappear and that, having seen him, Niall would never be able to recover from the devastation that would cause him but Louis was sure Zayn was not going to disappear, at least not tonight.

"Niall, please" Jacey arrived at his side ."I must insist that I check you are alright. You just collapsed on me. You are not going on stage until I know that you are well enough to do so"

"I'm fine, really fine" Niall started to argue with her but she wasn't prepared to listen. Once Niall realised that Jacey fully intended to hold up the concert until she had satisfied herself that her patient really was all right, he gave in and allowed her to take him to his dressing room to examine him. He fidgeted the whole time, the others glancing at the clock as they hovered anxiously around him. Niall kept his eyes on Zayn, half afraid the man would vanish into thin air if Niall didn't keep him in plain sight.

"You seem to be fine" Jacey finally admitted. "Your blood pressure is a bit high though"

" Pre show nerves " Nialll said dismissively "Good, let's  do the show."Niall shrugged his Tshirt on quickly and stood up. He looked at Zayn "You'll stay? You won't leave?" he asked anxiously.

"I'll be here" Zayn promised "I'm not leaving. We'll talk" . Niall nodded and followed the other lads out. Talking would have to wait, there was a show to do.

"We've had a great time and we are so glad you came to share it with us. You've always been here for us and we can't thank you enough. We've been One Direction" Liam called out to the fans and they all left the stage as the fans erupted into a wall of sound.

"That was amazing" Louis said as he bounced into room where all the boys gathered to unwind. Zayn was sat on the couch, smiling slightly as the rest of the boys followed Louis, Niall bringing up the rear.

"Bro?" Zayn spoke softly and patted the seat next to him. Niall walked slowly over then  curled up next to him, allowing  Zayn to  wrap his arms around Niall in a hug. "You have no idea just how much I missed you" Zayn's voice was so quiet, he might have only been talking to himself.

"But you left me" Niall sat up sharply, suddenly angry "You left me. You f.cking promised you'd always be there for me and you weren't. You lied to me Zayn" Much to Niall's horror, he felt hot tears pouring from his eyes. He'd meant to be calm, to talk reasonably but the anger, sense of loss and  more than a decade's worth of pain had robbed him of control. Zayn had left him, had broken every promise he'd ever made  to Niall and here he was, acting like nothing had happened.  Liam beckoned to Harry and Louis , and they slipped  silently from the room. Niall and Zayn needed to settle this themselves and Liam  could see that Harry was already upset on seeing Niall so angry and distressed. Liam was also afraid that  Louis was likely to add fuel to the fire if he thought Zayn was going to  cause Niall too much upset.

Niall's small fists beat on Zayn's chest as Niall shouted at him until he finally collapsed, suddenly drained. Zayn had sat still, allowing Niall to hit him, some instinct keeping him from reacting. Niall needed to do this and Zayn deserved it. Once Niall had subsided into small hiccups and his breath was ceasing to hitch, Zayn pulled him into his chest and smoothed Niall's hair as he spoke gently and calmly to his friend.

"I did what I thought was right at the time, Ni" Zayn's tone was cautious. "You know the cr*p we were all dealing with, the things we had to agree to. I thought that if I left and didn't contact you, I'd protect you. You'd be fine without me. I convinced myself it was what was best for you, that you didn't need me. That I was the only one who'd suffer.  It didn't work, did it?" he shook his head. "If I could undo it all, go back in time, it would be different. I'd be different. But I can't , Niall. What's done is done". Zayn lapsed into silence."I can't alter the past, no matter how much we both want that."

"I missed you, I needed you. You were the one person I thought would understand" Niall said brokenly.

"I missed you, bro, so much. IT was so bad that  I used to stalk you" Zayn admitted sheepishly. "I sneaked into the hospital and would sit and watch you sleep at night. I'd go to the concerts, follow you around the park when you played with your daughter. I just never got caught" He grinned as he remembered his antics." I know you didn't know, didn't see me, but I never left you Niall, not really".

"Will you go again?" Niall asked slowly "Is this just for tonight, you'll leave again?"

"Only if you want me to leave Niall,  but it won't be willingly. I want the chance to rebuild our friendship. I know you can't forgive me, but I'll do everything I can to prove I'm sorry. I just want a chance". Zayn looked at Niall's face which  now wore a strange expression, as if Niall had gone somewhere in his memory.

"I just want a chance" Niall repeated. "I remember saying those exact same words, years ago. I just wanted the chance to beat MS. I was given that chance. I guess I can do the same for you, I'll give you that chance"

"That's all I ask, Nialler" Zayn's voice choked with emotion."I don't deserve it but I want to prove I really am sorry. I want to put things right."

"Don't let me down." Niall gave Zayn a watery grin. "C'mon. Lets go see the lads. We've got all of One D back together. Let's celebrate."