Stumbling through the dark

I've Got Scars, Even If They Can't Always Be Seen

Louis woke up and looked around him groggily. " "bout time you woke up, mate. Your snoring sounds like a road drill" Niall said cheekily. "I'm surprised you didn't wake yourself up"

"I don't snore" Louis was quick to deny the accusation. "Do I snore?" he asked the nurse who had just walked into Niall's room, carrying his dinner tray.

"I never listen to things that don't concern me" was the serene reply. "Here, Niall, please try and eat some of this. Dr Miller will be along later " . Smiling at both men, she left the room.

"Uggh! Fish and mashed potato!" Niall made a disgusted face but picked up his fork and started to eat. "Why is hospital food always so vile?" he asked  .

"Dunno, lad. " Louis replied, his voice vaguely muffled by the surgical mask he was still wearing. There was no way he wanted to pass this cold onto Niall. Especially when his young friend was beginning to look a little healthier, with faint color in his cheeks. "You ready to talk to Dr Miller when he comes?"

"I guess so" Niall sounded hesitant " but I don't want to"

"I know, Nialler. But once he knows what happened and that you are sure you won't be doing it again, then maybe they will leave you alone over it. Maybe they'll want  you to to do therapy , I don't know. But be honest and remember I'm here for you, I'm not leaving". Louis looked at Niall who was staring down at his plate. "That fish won't eat itself, Ni. Go to it " he said encouragingly and smiled as Niall once again continued with his meal.

Niall sat and fidgeted as he waited for Dr Miller to arrive. Louis was lounging on the bed next to him, an arm wrapped around Niall's shoulders in an attempt to calm down his agitated friend. Louis had pointedly ignored the glare of the nurse when she had come to disconnect the now finished iVs. He was far more concerned in keeping Niall relaxed than he was about obeying hospital rules. With a final glare at him, she left the room just as Dr Miller arrived. Louis felt Niall tense so he hugged him gently "You can do this" he whispered "and I'm right with you". 

"Hello Niall, Louis." The doctor  pulled up a chair and sat facing the young men. "Niall, are you ready to have a chat with me? Perhaps Louis could wait outside?"

"No, I want Louis to stay, if you don't mind. He was sort of involved in stuff so....."

"If that's what you want, Niall. Louis, are you happy to stay?" the doctor queried

"Definitely" Louis replied firmly "I promised Niall I'd be with him so here I stay"

"Right then. Niall, the ball's in your court" the doctor leant back in his chair, crossing his legs. His casual attitude helped relax Niall a little.

"Off the record?" Niall asked for confirmation

"Strictly off the record' Niall. Just you, me and Louis, here." 

"OK, well I haven't actually been ill, beyond the MS. A couple of things happened and I, well I, I......" Niall looked helplessly at Louis.

"It's OK, Nialler. I got it from here. Doc, about nine months ago one of our bandmates left the band, suddenly, for reasons I can't go into. He and Niall were very close. Ni was like his little brother. Ni was a bit down due to all the hate he was getting from social media, and Zayn's leaving kinda tipped the balance. Ni took alcohol and pills. Well Zee found him in time and Nialler here was forced to vomit everything up"

"Any medical treatment afterwards?" Dr Miller asked and both young men shook their heads."OK, please go on. I take it more happened?" Louis and Niall shared a look and Niall blushed bright red and looked down at his hands.

"Well, we got through that ok "Louis continued " not great, but we got through then Niall was diagnosed with MS. It sort of spiralled down from there and it happened again. This is kind  of what Niall meant when he said I was involved. We knew Ni was down but we were giving him time to work it out but one night Zayn got real worried about him and dragged me over to Niall's house. We found he'd done it again. We made him drink salt water, making him puke like crazy , until he wasn't bringing up anything. That's it" Louis looked up at the doctor.

"No medical intervention the second time either?" Again the young men shook their heads. The doctor sighed loudly. "That makes it clear. The two extreme vomiting sessions, combined with stress, reduced appetite and  new medication that causes some side effects on the stomach ,resulted in Niall's stomach becoming a mess. We're sorting it now ,but Niall, I need to extract a promise from you that you'll never do that again. And Louis, you and Zayn undoubtedly saved this young mans life between you but  next time..and I sincerely pray there is never a next time....get proper medical help.

"You have my word" Niall said quietly. "I made my mind up not long after that , that I'd never do it again. That I would deal with this"

"Good lad, I know you can do this Niall. Now, how do you feel about therapy?" The doctor enquired. "Is it something you'd consider?"

"No!" then a little quieter "No. It's not for me. I just want to put this behind me. I was a stupid arse and I was lucky that I've come through it. I just want to go forward now" Niall was studying his hands as he spoke then he looked up and straight in the doctors eyes" I won't do it again."

"I believe you. Louis? Do you have anything to say?"

"Yeah, I know Niall. He really won't do it again. And he knows now that I'm not going anywhere. He'll have me to lean on. Me, Liam and Harry. We'll always be there for him"

"Then I accept your word Niall. And Louis, you're a great friend. Niall's a fortunate young man" Doctor Miller smiled warmly at both young men.

"Does that mean I can go home, you won't keep me?" Niall asked nervously, holding his breath as he waited for Doctor Miller to reply.

"Ah, well, I am actually going to keep you" Niall's face fell at the doctor's words "but only until Mr Taylor has  also seen you and agreed you can leave us.Just a few more days, Niall" he told the crestfallen young man. . "We need you to eat more and keep your fluids up and make sure your tummy continues to recover. We want you well again, you're not being held hostage anymore" He grinned at Niall as he stood up to leave. "Oh by the way, I thought you'd be very interested in this" He pulled a paper from his jacket pocket and handed it to Louis. "I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, gentlemen".

Louis looked at the paper his face absolutely stunned as he read it. "Ni!" he handed it to the blond Irishman. "Look!" Niall took the paper gingerly and  started to read, his mouth falling open in shock.