Love hurts?

Let me explain

Michael's POV

It's been over a week and haven't spoken to Ocean since what happened . I've trying calling her but she just hangs up and won't reply to my texts and leaving early for school. I've been going over everything in my head. I want to explain to Ocean but don't really understand it myself. We went to Kingdom Hall this morning but she stayed close to her parents so I couldn't even speak to her there. "Is everything ok sweetie?" My mother asks walking into my room disturbing me from my thoughts. "I'm not feeling good, maybe I should stay home tonight" she walks over sitting on the bed next to me "it's Jermaine's birthday, can't you two get along for one night?" She sighs "it's not that, I really don't feel good" I lie "I can stay home and watch Janet" she rolls her eyes annoyed "you could have said this earlier, you stood there and saw me ask Ocean if she's babysit tonight, now I'm gonna have to go over there and tell her not to come" I shake my head "you don't have to I'll call her and tell her" she pursed her lips then nods "ok, but don't forget to call her"

I text Ocean telling her my mother asked if she could come over at 8 instead of 7. That way Janet will be asleep and it will give me plenty of time to talk to Ocean alone.

***
After my parents leave I make sure Janet is in bed nice and early. I really need to speak to Ocean without Janet distracting us wanting to play. The door knocks and I brace myself before answering "hey" Ocean mumbles I invite her in locking the door behind us "where is everybody?" she looks around confused "they left and hour ago, it's just me and you" she turns to me annoyed "so your parents don't need me to babysit?" She turns to leave but I grab her arms pulling her back "wait! Just let me speak to you please? I wanna try and explain everything"

***
Ocean's POV

As much as I want to storm out I can see the desperation in Michael's eyes. I sit on the couch and he comes over sitting next to me and takes a deep breath. "I swear I didn't know what I'd done to you, I know it sounds crazy but when I told you all I remember was taking you into the bathroom then Marlon knocking on the door, it's the truth!. One minute We were arguing and the next..." He pauses for a moments tears begin rolling down his face "and then...I was inside of you and you were scared and crying" I look at him confused "how can you just forget?" He shakes his head "I don't know, I can't explain it, it was like,  I was angry about how Jonathan was with you and I started getting these images in my head of you with him and it's like you left me because I wasn't good enough and and love you so much and I give you all of me and the thought of you wanting him....it broke my heart and the more hurt I felt the more blurry everything went. I don't even know what I said to you I just remember being angry and hurt and...like our first time that should have been special but instead I-i....."

He breaks down crying "you said that" I mumble "I said what?" he looks at me confused "that you loved me and you give me all of you and you asks me why You wasn't good enough for me"

"What did you say?" He asks wiping his eyes "nothing, you had you hand over my mouth and I was in to much pain to speak" he looks down ashamed and I lift his chin so he facing me again "Michael, if I didn't think you were good enough for me or I didn't love you then I wouldn't have giving you all of me the way you gave me all of you" he looks away "I didn't give you any choice" he mumbles "maybe that time and the first time but the other times I chose to be with you because I love you not because you made me" I feel a knot in my stomach I don't want to ask this but I need to know "did you did this to any of you old girlfriends?" He shakes his head "your the only girlfriend I've ever had and I swear your the only person I've been with, I don't wanna ever be with anybody else" I see the sincereness in his eyes. "Have you ever hurt anybody else?" He goes quiet for a moment "Tony, I wanted him to stay away from you and I thought he was trying to break us up. Marlon had to drag me off him" I looked at him shocked "he never got mugged" He mumbles looking at the ground "it was you!?" He's about to speak when Janet calls for Michael "I'll be right with you" he calls back then turns to me "I'll be back down in a minute but I'll understand if your not here waiting for me" he says wiping his eyes then goes upstairs.