Love hurts?

2nd chances

Ocean's POV

Michael and I are at the hospital waiting for someone to come back with the results. DJ started breathing again after a few seconds, but in those few seconds it was as if time had frozen. Neither of us have spoken a word since we rushed him here. All I can do is stand a stare at DJ as he sleeps. I hear a sniffling sound  and turn seeing Michael crying and trembling. "He's ok" I whisper shakily "I thought it happing all over again" croaks with tears running down his face. I don't say anything but start chocking up and begin weeping all once again as the flash backs of the day he was born come flooding back. We thought we'd lost him that day and when I saw him stop breathing I thought we were gonna lose him. He pulls me close to him and I hold on to him tightly and break down in his arms.

We break away as the door slowly opens and my aunt Sherri comes in holding some notes and we both rush over to her "Is he gonna be ok?" Michael asks her. "He's...oh my god!" She gasps looking at me "Ocean what's happened to your face!?" she gasps placing her hand on my cheek. I push her hand away quickly with force "IS OUR SON GONNA BE OK!!!?" a yell. She jumps slightly take. "he, um...he's gonna gonna be fine" she stutters "so what happened to him!?" Michael snaps "he had a form of sleep apnea. It very common with babies that are premature" she says shakily taken aback from us yelling. "It's when the brain in away forgets to breath for a moment" she tries to explain "will this happen again?" I ask "it's possible but it could also have been a one time thing. You'll need to keep a check on him and if he stops breathing for more than a few seconds or he begins to turn blue then you should call the emergency straight away" she starts explaining to us about some sensor things we can get that an alarm goes if he stops breathing or if his heart isn't beating right. And after giving us as much information as she can she's about to leave the room then stops looking over at me "what happened to your eye?" She asks me again and I turn frowning at her becoming annoyed "fuck my eye!" I snap "your job is to worry about my son not my fucking face!" she puts her head down and sighs "that doesn't mean I don't still worry about you...just like your parents..." I shake my head in disbelief cutting her off. "Fine! I slipped and fell ok!? End of!" I turn away from her going back over to DJ and she leaves the room not saying another word.

*
Michael's POV

When Sherri leaves I look over at Ocean. "Why didn't you tell her the truth?" I mumble "I've gotten pretty good at lying and hiding things" she mumbles under her breath then turns to me "and right now I don't care about that" she says coldly and turns away from me again. "There's a machine at the end of the corridor I'll go get us coffee and let everyone know what's going on with DJ" I mutter sensing that she wants to be alone for a moment. She nods but doesn't say anything. I go into the waiting room and let my parents know what's going on and they head straight for DJs room.

I'm on my way back with the coffee's and Joseph stops me. "Come sit down" he motions me to the chairs in the corridor. "That must have been a real shock for you both, especially after what happened" he says softly pursing his lips. "I thought we were gonna lose him" I croak tearing up again. "He's gonna be ok" he reassures me "just like you were when it happened to you" I look at him confused "I stopped breathing"

"Many times...you were a fucker for doing it" he chuckles slightly under his breath. "We'd put you down and once you were in a deep sleep you keep forgetting to breath" I frown facing him surprised "you never told me about that" he sighs and goes quiet for a moment "because I try not to think about it, it was the most terrifying thing I've ever been through in my life and the thought of losing one of you..." He pauses and wipes a tear from his eye "I've always love you kids even though I didn't show it...I know I was hardest on you all but I did try to be affectionate and care for you like you mother but every time I tried with each one of you but every time I messed it up" he croaks looking at the ground. "Could never put your diapers on right, I'd feed you's and you's would scream because it was to hot. If I bathed you's the water was to cold...then I'd give up...9 kids an every time I'd mess it up" he laughs slightly under his breath. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you kids. And I was the worst on you" I start choking up hearing him speak this way "why were you so hard on me?" He doesn't answer for a moment "because you were different. You were so protective of Randy and Janet you would always take the blame anytime they'd do something you knew I would beat them for you always took the blame"