Love hurts?

Hopeful

Michael's POV

Since my mother came over things have been going a lot easier. I still miss Ocean like crazy. She still won't see me, but I wrote her a letter telling her how sorry I am and how much I truly love and miss her and how much her and our family means to me. I gave it to one of the nurses and she promised she'd give it to her so I'm really hoping she read it and didn't just tear it up. My mothers been coming over on the days I work to take care of Nevaeh for me which has been a huge help. It weird to think her slapping me the second I opened the door and saying everything was my fault and to man up and quit being a cry baby would make things better but actually did! It made me realise how stupid and selfish I've been.

I'm finishing off changing Nevaeh's diaper when the door knows "I wonder who that is!?" I gasp playfully at Nevaeh picking her up to answer the door. "Hey! It's grandma!!" I smile as my mother comes in taking Nevaeh from my. "How's my favourite person on the world today?" She coos at her. "I'm good thanks!" I answer jokily "wasn't talking to you... I was talking to my little princess" she cooes smiling and Nevaeh. "Now you be a good girl for grandma ok? I smile kissing Nevaeh's head and smiles. "We'll be fine" my mother rolls her eyes. "We're gonna go out for the day" she smiles "we're to?"

"Just out" she smiles through pursed lips. "Ok... We'll have fun" I shrug knowing that look, which basically means 'mind your damn business"

*****

After work I come home and rush straight over to Nevaeh who's sitting on the sofa with my mother and take her from her. "How's daddy's little princess been today?" I coo giving her a cuddle. "Don't get upset" my mother says calmly and I look at her confused. "I went to see Ocean today"

"What!? Why" I frown. "Michael, I can see it in your eyes how much this is hurting you. Not knowing what's going on and I your a mess without her.

"But I wrote her a letter, she knows I'm sorry and how I much I love her and everything else, you didn't need to down there to tell that"

"A letter? You think that's all it'll take to make her stay with you?" She frowns. "I wrote her a letter that told her how I feel and asking for her to stay with me. Im not gonna force her or bully her to stay with me.. Not anymore, if she stays with me it has to be her choice" I sigh. "What do you mean anymore? She's always had a choice" she looks at me confused. "No she hasn't!" I shake my head. "She had no choice when I raped her, when she had DJ she no choice but to marry me and live with me, because if she didn't her parents would have made her adopt DJ out. When I beat her she had no choice but to stay with me, because I turned her and her family against each other and she had nobody to turn to but me. Even when she moved in here with me. Her parents threw her out and again she had nowhere else to go"

"But Michael, that's all the past, she forgave you for.. What you did" she mumbles that last part. "Because she didn't have much choice, yeah apart of her forgave me because she loved me but the rest was because she was bullied into it and now she finally has a choice" I sigh. "And what if she chooses to leave you? What if she comes here, takes Nevaeh and leaves? Do you really want to risk losing another child?"

"She wouldn't stop me seeing Nevaeh" I shake my head "and if she does?" She asks and I look at her nervously. "Did she say that's what she's going to do?" She shakes her head at me. "She said she still loves you but she still doesn't know if she can trust you or forgive you" she sighs. "So she hasn't actually said we're over?"

"Well... No, but she still might and..."

"Which means there's still a chance!" I say hopefully. "It's possible but you still need to prepare yourself.. Just incase"