Love hurts?

It's OK

Michael's POV

I've just bathed Neveah and I'm in the bedroom getting her ready because we have a midwife coming over this morning to check how everything's going, and Ocean's been in a pretty bad mood about it all morning. "I don't see why she has to come anyway" Ocean says finishing getting ready. "Because she has to check everything's ok with you and Neveah, you know this" I point out to her "but we're fine. We'd tell her if there was a problem" she shrugs uninterested. "Can you take her while I go get her bottle?" I ask picking Neveah up off the bed. "I'm doing my make up. She's fine we're she is" Ocean mumbles not bothering to turn around. "I think we should talk to the midwife about what's going on, she might be able to help you" I suggest. "Help me with what? I'm fine" She turns and frowns confused. "But your not fine"

"There's nothing wrong with me" she shrugs "there's nothing wrong with admitting your finding hard to bond with Neveah. It happens sometimes with mothers"

"I'm not" she frowns "baby, come over here" I sigh and motion her over to the bed and she looks at me hesitantly "please?" I ask softly and she slowly comes over and sits on the bed. "if there's not a problem then why do you keep pushing her away?" I ask softly. "I don't" she shrugs. "I understand your hurt about DJ not being here and it kills me too. I was there at the hospital remember? The police handcuffed me and pulled me away and I had to watch DJ literally be pulled out of your arms and it broke my heart knowing that no matter how much I kicked and struggled to get to you and stop them, I couldn't" I croak as the images of that day and the sound of Ocean crying and begging them not to take DJ start running through my head. "but Neveah being here and not DJ doesn't mean we're replacing him or that we love him any less" she doesn't say anything say anything and tears start rolling down her eyes. "Just hold her" I say softly and she shakes her head nervously. And I pick Neveah up and place in Ocean's arms "I- I can't...."

"Baby, it's ok... you don't have to feel guilty" I say softly cutting her off. "Your allowed to love her too" I wipe the tears from her cheeks and kiss her temple. "I'll be back in moment" I smile through pursed lips and leave the room.

**

Ocean's POV

I want to love Neveah and be her mother so badly, but every time I hold her in my arms and start to let that loving feeling for her come through, it's quickly taken over by guilt.

Michael comes back in the room a few moments later and sits on the bed beside me, handing me a bottle and I start feeding her. "Just relax... Your doing great" Michael says softly and puts his arm around me, sensing my nervousness.

***

Michael's POV

I was unsure whether or not to say anything to the midwife about Ocean finding it difficult bonding with Neveah, and I was tempted to tell her, but in the end I chose not to. I can see Ocean's trying her best and I know if I told the midwife about it she'd start feeling ganged up on and back away from Neveah even more.

**

Since our talk this morning, Ocean's been a lot more relaxed around Neveah and hasn't tried to back away from her once. The three of us are sat snuggled on the sofa and I sit and smile to myself as Ocean sits cuddling with Neveah and for the first time since she was born she hasn't been nervous or agitated around her.

*

We're sat watching a movie and I put my arm around Ocean and rests her head on my chest and starts falling asleep. "We're baack!" Aisha says in her usual high pitched voice as her and Jermaine come home from their date and Ocean sits up. "Awww. Don't you three look adorable all snuggled up together" she coos at us smiling. "I um... I'm gonna go get ready for bed" Ocean says handing Neveah to me and heads upstairs. I sigh roll my eyes as Aisha takes the remote and sits down on the sofa next to me and I get up and start making my way upstairs with Neveah, not saying anything to her. "What's up with you?" Jermaine asks sensing my annoyance. "Nothing" I say dryly.

Neveah's a month old and this was the first time Ocean was actually beginning to bond with her and I can't believe Aisha's just walked in and fucked it up.