Love hurts?

Closure

Ocean's POV

"you sure your ready for this?" Michael asks sitting on the edge of the bed, as I'm getting ready. "I need to do it now, before she get's out" I sigh "I don't wanna randomly see her in the street and I honestly don't know how I'd react if that happens"

"but, you don't know how you'll react when you see her today either" he points out. "true... But at least it'll be in a safe and controlled environment" I shrug "do you know what you gonna say to her yet?"

"I have know idea" I sigh sitting beside him "you sure you don't want me to come in with you?"

"she's my mother. I have to face her alone at some point"

I haven't spoken to my mother since the night we were taken to Mollie's. Michael and I are trying to move on from the past, but until we can do that fully we need to go backwards and close certain parts once and for all, that's why I'm going to see my mother at the hospital today. I have so many unanswered questions and she's the only person that can answer them and when she does I can finally have closure and move on with my life.

**********

Michael's POV

In a way I understand why Ocean wants to see her mother. She need closure and I get that, but in other ways I don't. Our house is almost ready and pretty soon we're gonna be far away from here just like we always planned. We always talked about having a nice home. The big white wedding and a large family and in the past it's always been more of a pipe dream, but now it's really happening and pretty soon we will have the life we always dreamt of. I know seeing her mother is going to hurt her and she knows that too. I know this sounds strange, but she needs to do this and go through that pain so she can be truly happy, just like I need to do the same.

*

I go downstairs to give the children their breakfast before we go and Janet is feeding Princess her bottle and I notice the strange way she keeps looking at her. "everything ok?"

"what's it like?" She mumbles "Having children?" I ask and she nods."well... it's tiring, stressfull, expensive, even scary at times... But, it's also the most amazing thing in the world" I smile taking Princess from her giving her a kiss and cuddle "you don't ever regret having them so young?"

"not for second" I smile, pulling faces at Princess "why?"

"I was just wondering" she shrugs "well don't wonder too much. There's no way your gonna be a teen parent" I chuckle slightly under my breath "you and Ocean did it"

"yeah and look how hard it was for us"

"but you don't regret it?"

"of course not. But look how badly we messed up with DJ. We only managed to keep for five months"

"but that wasn't your fault, it was Jessica's. The courts even said he was taken away wrongfully and you didn't mess up. Your kids are all really smart and well behaved and you both take great care of them "

"maybe now" I sigh "But let's be honest, me and Ocean were shitty parents at the beginning. We cared more about ourselves and spent most of our time out of the house taking coke an doing our own thing and left everybody else to take care of DJ instead of being home taking care of him ourselves like we should have been. We we're young and we weren't ready to be parents. We thought we were and that everything would be easy and perfect, but we clearly wasn't" she doesn't say anything for a moment then looks at the ground. "is that why you did those thing's to Ocean? Because you didn't want to be a dad?" She mumbles. "I never said I didn't want to be a dad. I loved being a dad and a husband back then and I still do. Everybody thinks I felt trapped, but I've honestly never felt that way. Ocean and I were kids trying to play grownups and raise a baby, but we were still just babies ourselves. And I told you before. I never did those things to Ocean, because I was angry or resentful towards her... I was hitting her long before she got pregnant" I mumble that last part guilty. "I didn't do it because I wanted to. I did it because I was sick. And those blackout were happening years before DJ or Ocean came into my life and I pray every night thanking God for blessing me with them"