Frozen Heart*Eric/Divergent*

16. Teach Me

I walked down the dark corridor, lost in thought

Why wasn't I strong enough to win a fight?

Why wasn't I good enough?

I always thought of myself as a 'fighter'

Not particularly as a psysical one

I just always thought I could do anything

But since I came to Dauntless, I realized that I indeed was weak

I couldn't win a fight, I would probably miss if I had to shoot or throw a knife at someone

But why?

Didn't I actually want to?

No

I just thought-

I couldn't even get my thoughts straight

There I was, walking around in the middle of the night like a crazy person

I headed towards the gym-maybe a few punches at the punching bag would help me sleep

I pushed the heavy door in front of me and got in 

It was completely empty and the lights were off

I searched for the switch in the darkness

Once I found it, I smiled to myself and looked around

I walked to the ring, brushing my fingers along the ropes around it

Pictures of being on the ground, humiliated and vulnerable immediately flashed through my mind

I didn't want to be that person

I wasn't that person

I had to try harder

I had to be better

I practiced some punches that Four had shown us the day before

It had been a week and a half since I had gotten back to training

Even though I trained every day, I wasn't getting any better

Why couldn't I hit like Four?

Why couldn't I defend myself?

Hell-I wished I was like Eric

Strong

His voice rang in my head as I continued hitting, combining punches and kicks

For a weak person-

Weak

You're weak

You have to be quicker, stronger, better

I hadn't realized that I was hitting the bag in front of me with so much anger, that it loudly echoed all over the empty place 

I stopped and looked down, trying to steady my now rapid breath

I tightened my ponytail and sat down

I could learn

I stood up, after some minutes and turned off the light, heading back to the dorm

But instead, I stopped and turned around, once I heard Eric's voice

"Don't you transfers ever sleep? I came across two more of you back at the Pit."

He casually walked and stood in front of me, waiting for an answer that never came

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly to the side like he was trying to figure me out "No sarcastic comment or rude comeback?"

I rolled my eyes 

"There's the Amity we all know." he said 

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop a remark from coming out of my mouth and then took a deep breath

"I want to ask you something,"I stated, crossing my arms in front of my chest

"Go on"

"I..I want you to train me." I mumbled

He narrowed his eyes at me

"What?"

I sighed

"I need help with training. I am asking you to help me train."

"And why should I do that?" he asked

"Well, you did tell Cris to beat me up."

It was his turn to roll his eyes

"And you're still here."

"I am Dauntless," I stated

"Dauntless don't ask for help-"

"Well, I do," I said, cutting him off

He stayed silent

"You know I am not supposed to help you."

"Does that mean you won't?" I asked

"It means I am not supposed to, Amity" he said, looking to the side and then back at me

"Why did you ask me and not Four?"

Four valued justice and equality way more than Eric did

"Because he would never do it."

"And what makes you think I would?" he asked, taking a step closer

"You like to make people feel like they are not as good as you. Well, I, for sure can give you that." I said with a sarcastic smile

He looked down at me with a smirk

"That sounded really desperate. Are you having a personality crisis?" he asked 

I quietly groaned

"I will do anything you tell me to" I stated

He raised an eyebrow 

"Anything?"

"Well.. not anything- but, I mean will you?"

He looked at me and stayed silent for some seconds before speaking up

"I will think about it. Now go back to your dorm room," he stated with no emotion

I smiled

"Thanks Eric." I said, turning my back to him, walking away

"I didn't say yes" I heard him say

"Oh, I know you will" I loudly said