Love Of A Teenage Girl ✔️

| Chapter Three |

Dear Diary,

Whenever the sound of his charming voice fills my ears I become paralyzed.

He makes me feel as if I could shoot through the heavens like an angel.

He is all I need in life.

He is perfection.

He is perfect.

He loves me, but merely as a sister. I yearn desperately for that to change, for something to change. I wish he could see me the way I see him. I wish he would fall in love with me, the same way I love him. I wish he knew what he does to me.

Every time I gaze into his brown eyes, I become star struck, just torpefied.

I become self-aware and insecure around him. Whenever he's with me I catch myself stealing glances into every mirror, immediately becoming discouraged by what I see, degrading myself every time I see myself because I know I am not the one he wants, the one he needs, I am just a sister.

But the heart wants what it wants.

I fell in love with the way you touched me without using your hands.

He greets me in the morning with a simple good morning. I can't help but sigh every time, wishing he greeted me with a kiss on the forehead instead. I can't help but wish he would hug me in the morning and want to hold my hand when we walk down the school halls together.

When he walked in to my life it became a rollercoaster, filled with wonderful- and frightening loops and turns. I absolutely enjoy every second of my life that we are together, rollercoaster or not, but I can't help but hope for more. I can't help but wish that we were together. If I am to fall off this rollercoaster, then I would forever be heart-broken for he is the one at the end of this rollercoaster. He is the prize at the end of this.

But it never seems to end.

We have a great friendship and nothing could tear us apart. He says not even a wrecking ball. I just... I just wish it was more. I wish he would stop tearing us apart in my mind.

I just. He's just. Words do not explain.

I love him and I wish he loved me.

In my eyes he's perfection, he has everything. A remarkable disposition.

He has the heart of gold, the looks of a god, the personality of the best.

He's also immensely loyal, and kind. He never lets any of his friends down, including me. If you count me as a friend, that is.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him so much.

More and more every single second. Every single hour. Every single day.

He is my idol.

My number one.

He is awfully cute, and he can generally be found at my side. I take immense pleasure at that fact, I just wish he was always with me in a different way, holding me and calling me cute names when we are in public.

He's also constantly attempting to raise my self confidence. He once described me as a shooting star. I wish I was his shooting star; shining so bright for him and always looking to make him happy. He said I was beautiful and wonderful just like one. I laughed when he suggested it; I laughed madly and awkwardly. However, I didn't cease grinning for weeks after, reminding myself of how happy and jittery I had gotten just by being called a shooting star.

He's the sort of guy that loves everybody, no matter who you are or what you do, just another thing about him to love.

I lived my life in black and white, but I swear, he saw colors in me that I didn't even know existed.

He never starts things with others and he always tries to hold peace with everyone. If you're not happy, no matter who you are, he will always be the first one there to help you and try to fix it.

His smile makes me melt just like chocolate in the sweltering sunlight. Chocolate, the color of his eyes.

Every little thing possibly can remind me of that beautiful human being.

Vans remind me of the shoes he always wears.

My room reminds me of how he would come to keep me company or to wait for his mother to pick him up.

My bed reminds me of where I would lay when I would think and imagine our perfect life together.

School reminds me of where I see him almost every single day.

Even black reminds me of how he dresses; all black.

Certainly, I don't know how to flirt so I'm just going to stare at you awkwardly until you get the hint that you have to marry me.

I still remember THAT feeling I felt when I first started talking to you.

I can't believe I got addicted to you so easily.

You're the whole reason I smile.

I've finally realized that when we fall in love with someone's personality everything about them becomes more beautiful.

It's extremely hard to find words to describe you. You're already a goddamn poem all on your own.

I got lost in you, and it was the kind of lost that's exactly like being found.

I reminisce when I first looked at you and I thought you were pretty cute, now when I look at you I see my whole world in front of me. Little did I know I would fall in love so deeply.

Please know that I love you.

Will you ever love me?

Love,

Your Secret Lover.