Love Of A Teenage Girl ✔️

| Chapter Ten |

Dear Diary,

Another day of not speaking to him. Well, if he sent a message I'll quickly reply as usual but I'll try to avoid him again. This time, I need to focus and just think about myself for a change. I know I'm lying to myself now but I have to try to move on from him and just stay friends. My exams are coming up and I'll get distracted so, I'll stop ranting about him over and over for a while. Ugh. I hope it works this time.

7 months and 7 days.

Oh wow.

My cousin and I we were speaking the other day about him. She told me, "Maybe he secretly likes you."
I thought for a moment. I don't think he secretly likes me because he told my guy best friend that he deep thought and he just doesn't. He loves me as his sister or his close friend. Hmm.. I don't know if he does but if he did he could've said from the beginning that he likes me. We've talked about the liking thing before him and I.

He said,
"I don't want you to feel nervous or panic around me. You know that we're cool buddies and we're friends forever."

Then, he told me, "Are you worried that I'll friendzone you?"

Then, I said,
"Yeah kind of."

He said, "No, that's just impossible. We're friends forever."

He also said,
"I'm happy that I've got these feelings from you."

I was kinda happy until I understood what he was trying to say but indirectly and in a kind way. "Friends forever" I think he means that he'll never like me and that we're gonna be just friends. That kind of hurt when I thought about it again. But again it's okay if we're just friends. He told me that I panic because I think that he thinks that the thought of I like him is always in his mind. Yeah, to be honest, this thought is always in my mind and it makes me panic. But I'll just move on because I can't keep embarrassing myself and act naïve.

Can't get my mind of him.

I love him.

Love,

Your Lover.