Love Of A Teenage Girl ✔️

| Chapter Thirty - Eight |

Dear Diary,

We didn't chat again until the day we went out to our friend's birthday which was today so, we have not been chatting for nine days. I thought of him a lot but I did not have or felt the need to text him. I saw him today though, it was really nice.

Immediately when I arrived, I called to check where my friends were. He came to me along two of my other friends. We greeted each other with a small smile and a "How are you?".

We went to Starbucks to wait for the others. He had sat in front of me, but we didn't eye contact or talk at that time.

Later, we had to go to the restaurant for the birthday party so one of my friends was pushing me in my wheelchair for me.
Seconds passed, he then said, "I'll push her."

He pushed me for a while, basically running to the restaurant. When we had to go up escalators, I had started to panic. I always felt like going up those, I'll trip as well as the person pushing me. My friends and him had noticed and they kept trying to calm me down.
He then told me not to worry and I was immediately calmer.

Does he really have that much of an effect on me? He just knows how to make me feel safe. To put it simply, he soothes me.

We went to the restaurant and he sat beside his friends and I sat beside mine. We ate our lunch and sang 'Happy Birthday'.

After we ate and sang, we went to a garden to sit and relax. My friend was looking for a restaurant because she had other friends in one that she wanted to join but my friend didn't know where that restaurant is. So, he helped us find it. We walked together and he helped us find the place. He's such a gentleman.

I went back to the garden and I kept thinking how to playfully ask to take a picture with him until I finally had the guts to ask him, "Could I take a picture with you?" His reply was "Of course."

We sat for fifteen minutes trying to take the picture. We took like forty pictures but they were instantly deleted due to how horrible they looked.. We ended up taking only three good photos. One was weird, one was not too bad, and the other I haven't seen yet because one of his friends took the photo for us.

He only saw the not bad one until I realized that the weird one is on my phone. After a while, we went to Starbucks again. There were a lot of stairs in Starbucks which we had to go up with the wheelchair. He was trying his best, he looked like the chair was hurting him. He was trying his best to calm me, and I was trying to calm myself too. He carried the chair with two of his friends who are my friends too. We got up the stairs and I thanked them, I really appreciated it, they're the best. I was just worried if they're okay; I just hope they didn't get injured from my wheelchair.

After an hour or two, he came and sat beside me. We talked and talked and talked, joking around about weird things and such. After a while, I showed him the weird picture of him and I, he laughed and said, "Wow, well it isn't that bad. My poker face though." I smiled and said, "Yeah, kind of. I look terrible in this picture."
He instantly said, "Of course not, you look pretty."

I smiled and I didn't know what to say. I was biting my inner cheeks to stop the giggling inside me. I knew that my cheeks formed a deep shade of red at that time. I was trying not to blush but I know myself pretty well when I receive compliments, especially from the one who I wait forever to gain his attention.

I just swiped the picture and showed him the not bad picture and said, "Well, at least this one isn't that bad." He smiled and replied by, "Yeah." Then, we kept talking and laughing for a while.

Minutes passed, he and his friends kept beatboxing and rapping, they actually sucked though but they were doing it just for fun. I kept video tapping them and laughing till my face turned blue. Then, we played a game for a while.

It was time to leave, they helped me get down with my wheelchair, they looked tired and I really hated myself for hurting them or making them feel exhausted. They're the best friends I've ever had. They're always helpful and I appreciate them so much. We laughed for a couple of minutes and told jokes then my friend and I left.

I went home, sent him a text thanking him and apologizing for making him exhausted. An hour later, he replied by, "Sorry for what idiot? Thought we were your brothers? Not quite sure if siblings would thank or apologize to each other for that."I laughed hysterically out loud!
I was speechless, but I answered by, "Hahaha! We're more than siblings, we're best friends! And yeah, you're right!:)"

When I started to drift into my dreams, I kept reminiscing the memories.
The jokes, the talks, the helping and the exchanging of smiles. It's wonderful to feel loved by the person you love. Even though, he loves me as his little sister, he'll always be my older, most kindest and awesomest brother.

I love him to the moon and never back.

Every time I looked at him, everything would become slow motion and all I could see was my whole world standing in-front of me.

I don't know when I'm going to be ready to move on. I wish to just take the huge step to move on.

Can't just "let it go"?

That's because emotions aren't like rocks that you can just drop and throw. They're more like drops of water that need to run through you. So, I've learned to not let it go but let it flow.

She looks up at him like he's the world and he just thinks she's pretty.

I really love him.

Dear Him,
You're the only one who I wouldn't mind losing sleep for, the only one who I can never get tired of talking to, and the only one who crosses my mind constantly throughout the day. You're the only one who can make me smile without even trying, bring down my mood without the intention to and affect my emotions with every action of yours. You're the one I'm afraid of losing, and the one I want to keep in my life. I'd like to thank you for everything, and apologize for making you exhausted. My life is blank without you. I feel unsafe without you being around.
I'm afraid of losing you.
I Love You.

Love,

Your Lover.