Submit to me Mavie

49

CHAPTER 49: End.

MAVIE'S

"Mavie..." napasinghap ako ng marinig iyon. Para kasing may iba sa paraan nya ng pag tawag.

Liningon ko sya at tinignan ng nagtatanong.

"Ah--- ahmm" I watched him while he struggled to talk. I know him when he's nervous. It's very rare to see a nervous Grae De Chavez but I know every single expressions he can give. And this time I'm sure he is  nervous.

"If you're nervous that I will tell Czeska that we talked. Don't worry hindi ko sasabihin. Besides hindi naman tayo nag usap."

Tumalikod na ako dahil iba ang ginagawa ng eksena na ito sakin. Pinapaasa ako ng sitwasyon na ito.

"Mavie wag kang haharap. I don't want to see your face while saying these" ramdam ko ang presensya nya.

I didn't move, I didn't face him, I did what he wanted because I know how to listen now. I know how to value his emotions. 

I stay still. And wait for him to curse me because of what I've done. Dapat matagal nya na akong dapat sinumbatan eh. Iniwan nya Lang ako pero kahit minsan hindi nya sinumbat ang mga pagkakamali ko.

Nagpakawala sya ng hangin, napapikit ako ng tumama iyon sa batok ko. He's near my back, our proximity is giving me hard time to breathe.

I stiffened when i felt his skin on mine.

He hugged me from behind.

"G-grae" I whispered. I don't know if I will cry. I don't know what to do.  I don't know what to feel. I don't want to assume but this situation is giving me hope, this is making me alive again.

Siniksik nya ang ulo nya sa leeg ko.

"Don't face me... Don't talk I just want you to listen, listen very carefully"

Para akong robot na tumango. Iniimpit ko ang hagulgol na gustong lumabas sa lalamunan ko.

This is the closure I know, and when I say that this is giving me hope and making me live again, it's because I know how good person Grae is. I know he will give me forgiveness and finally my cue to be happy again. It's the end of what we have and start of I can have without him.

It's painful but I need to do this for me, for him, for us. I believe in chances and I know life and fate did their all and gave us every single chances they can give since day one. And I know, I know this is the time when all of us can finally move on.

"I'm sorry because I gave up" I'm all ears.

Siniksik nya ang mukha nya sa leeg ko. Alam kong umiiyak sya dahil ramdam ko ang mumunting luha na bumabasa sa aking balat.

This is the first time I know na umiyak sya dahil sa mga nangyari. I know we are both finally letting our hearts out.

GRAE'S

I can sense that she's holding her tears because I know she is  trying to be strong in front of me.

Finally, I already forgave myself for letting this happened to us. I'm healed as new and finally I want to start again so I'm making these right.

It's so selfish of me leaving her miserable but I knew to myself how broken I was before and my brokenness will implict more pain specially to her.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you alone."

I can feel her heartbeat it is shouting like mine. I can feel her soft cold skin. I can feel Mavie's pain.

"I was hurt, Everything was a mess that time. You lied to me, you do things that i dont want you to do. Mavie I know nakilala mo ko na dominante ako. I know may part ako sa takot mo na baka pag pumayag ka na manduhan kita eh masanay ako at bumalik ako sa dati."

I felt her stiffened. I know her so well.

Idinikit ko ang noo ko sa ulo nya. I can smell her scent, may mga bagay talaga na hindi nag babago.

"But Mavie noong pinili ko na mahalin ka, pinili ko na kalimutan lahat ng mga bagay na alam kong maaring makasakit sayo. I did all that for you. Lahat ng sinasabi ko para sayo. Para sayo lang" Another tear fell again.

Umuga ang balikat nya. Alam kong umiiyak narin sya kagaya ko.

Umihip ang malakas na hangin. Nilipad ang buhok nya at napapikit ako ng tumama sakin ang hangin. Para bang binubura at tinatangay ng hangin lahat ng sakit namin.

Our pain, doubts, inhibitions are gone.  Just hope. We have our hopes.

"I was lost when we lost Avirae. Alam kong mali ang isisi ko sayo iyon dahil nawalan karin. Maniwala ka, hindi pumasok sa isip ko na ginusto mo ang nangyari. Ang nasa isip ko ay kung sana may magagawa pa tayong dalawa kaso wala. Tinanong ko ang kakayanan ko bilang tao lalo na't I'm Grare Dr Chavez i can do impossible to possible. But reality slapped me hard I can't, i cannot bring my child back"

Yumuko sya.

"I needed to heal. To heal alone" nagulat ako ng bigla syang humarap.

MAVIE'S

"Alone?!" Napatitig sya.

"Yes alone" yung gulat nya napalitan ng paglambot ng ekspresyon.

"No you're not alone!" tumalikod ako. Kasi ok na wag naman sana syang magsinungaling.

"Mavie" hinawakan nya ko sa kamay at hinatak. Sa lakas ng hatak nya ay napatama ako sa dibdib nya.

"G-grae"

"Hindi ako tumigil na mahalin ka. Huminga lang ako... Inayos ko lang ang sarili ko. Para pag humarap ako sayo buo na ulit ako"

"What are you  saying, wag Grae. Don't hurt Czeska" nag aalinlangang sagot ko.

"Masokista ka talaga" bulong nya habang yakap nya ako.

"Grae pleas--- hmmmmp!"

Ang diib bg halik na ibinigay nya sakin. Agaran akong napakapit sa balikat nya para makakuha ng suporta para tumayo.

Everything happened so fast. Kanina lang...

Napatigil akong mag isip ng igalaw nya ang mga labi nya.

"G-grae t-this is wrong" I whispered between our kisses.

"No.." he answered back without breaking our contact.

Hindi ko maintindihan.
We kissed, God knows how long.

Parang energizer yung halik, parang may kuriyente, para akong na-revive.

"P-pano si Czeska" there he stopped the kiss and held my face.

"Walang Czeska, Mavie lang"

"H-huh multo ai Czeska?"  nanglaki yung mata nya. Paanong wala si Czeska eh parang ligaw na kaluluwa nga sya na sunod ng sunod.

"Silly..." he kissed my forehead at napatawa ng mahina.
I again closed my eyes and savor the feeling of his lips on my skin.

"We have more to talk about. But can we please talk inside your room?" His eyes are full of affection and lust... His loving eyes are back.

Have you experienced that feeling? Yung ang sakit sakit pero kumakapit ka parin. Yung nakakamatay pero umaasa ka na umayos. Tapos pagka binigay yung hiling mo, ok ka na. Yung nakalimot kana. Yung tipikal na babae kung saan malambot ang pusong nagmamahal ng totoo.

Ganon, lahat ng sakit, mga tanong nawala.

Para akong nahipnotismong napa tango.

"S-sa kwarto ko?" tumango sya.

"Ok lang ba?"

Napatango ako.

"Marami akong lilinawin pa at ikukwento, may gusto rin akong gawin at ipaalala sayo...." bulong nya.

Kinalabutang nagpatianod ako sa paghila nya.

_______