A Lovely Surprise

Who Am I

I love my parents. Though I do know they are not my real parents, I still love them. They given me everything a kid could ask for. Love, Warm hugs, movie nights, a great school, I'm on the gymnastics team, I play soccer & softball, I have everything I need. I have two older siblings, James who is 15 & Alice who is 12. We all are adopted & have known since we came home with our parents. They never hid it from us.
But I've always felt like I was missing something. Maybe it's something all adopted kids feel? I mean we all are related to these two other people who we have no idea who they are then behind that to add our biological siblings, cousins, aunts,uncles, &grandparents who we have no clue who they are. We could see these people on a daily basis and never know and that's either a good thing or bad things depending on who your biological family is. To think I have a whole other family out there. I wonder what they're like...

I've always wondered what my parents look like. I bet they are beautiful. Sometimes I look in the mirror & pick out my features & try to determine what I got from who. I like to think I have my mom's eyes & my dad's hair. Or my dad's smile & my mom's nose. Who knows .....
"Sweetie what are you doing?" My mom asked walking into my room with my Laundry . I took a deep breath, I hope she won't get hurt when I tell her this.
" mom, I love you & dad so much but sometimes.....sometimes I can't help but wonder about my biological parents..... Is that bad? " I asked scared I was going to hurt her feelings.
" No sweetie. I knew you would get real curious one day." She said sitting me down on my bed as she held my hand.
" Do you know what they were like? Are they alive? " I asked.
" as far as I know sweetie, they are both a live. I don't know anything about your father but his name is on your birth certificate. But your mom? She was very young honey. I never met her but when sara brought you from your mom to me, you both were crying. You were screaming for your mommy & sara said she had never seen a young mom so torn about giving her baby up." She said sweetly. I looked down at my lap, "do you think if I ever saw her, I would recognize her?" I asked. My mom shrugged, " I don't know, maybe . " She replied.
" You know I love you right mom? " I said hugging her. "Yes I know baby, I know."

This bothered me for days. Where was my biological father in this time my mother gave me up? Why wasnt he there? If she was so torn then why did she do it? Why did she give me up?

I sat in my older brothers bedroom playing video games with him.
" You know for an 8 year old,you're a little to good at video games." James laughed as I beat him for the 2nd time. I smiled light but it quickly faded as I sat there, still thinking about everything, my parents.
" james can I ask you something?" I asked. He set down his remote. "Sure, shoot." He said giving me his full attention.
"D-do ever think about meeting your real parents?" I asked scared.
" mom & dad are my real parents." He stated.
" I mean your biological." I said.
" nahh. I mean Ari, I was born addicted to heroin. My bio mom was so cracked out she couldn't even name me. & my bio dad? I have no clue who it is. My situation was completely different than yours. I mean out of all 3 of us, I would pick your parents to be the best ones to meet. I mean Alice's parents both died of drug overdoses. I don't even know if my mom is alive. Your parents were just young & probably couldn't take care of you. I mean you were nearly a year old when you became a Kindle. I think your parents tried to do their best but maybe it just wasn't enough. I did meet your uncle though." He said.
"What? ! & you're just now telling me?" I freaked out.
" Shhhh I want suppose to tell you that! " He said.
" Do I look like him? What was he like?" I asked.
" He was nice from what I remember. I don't know Ari that was nearly 7 Years ago." He said getting irritated
A silence came upon us til I spoke up.
" I just feel like something is missing."
"Aria, do what you gotta do. mom & dad will always love you. & they want you to be happy & if meeting your bio parents makes you happy then talk about it with them." I nodded listening to him.

It was October and I had just got done with my gymnastics practice. I got home and went ahead & made my Christmas list.
I was quite through out dinner, I was scared to ask for what I wanted for christmas. I mean I think mom would be fine but I don't wanna hurt my daddy's feelings. "Honey what's wrong? You've been kind of down lately?" My dad asked.
" can we talk about it after dinner, daddy?" I asked.
" sure sweet heart." He smiled sweetly. My dad was the most gentle loving person in the world. He is such a sucker for me & Alice.
" actually, I do have a question." I stated.
" what is it? " My mom asked.
" mom, why didn't you ever have babies of your own?" I asked
"Well sweetie, I can't have babies." She stated.
" Why? " I asked. "My body can't carry a baby. I think it's because we were all meant for each other. I was always so hurt about not being able to have kids but once I adopted James I knew I was meant to be a mommy to those who need one." She said. "Oh." I said smiling.
After dinner we all sat in the living room. I went up to my room & grabbed my Christmas list. I held it to my chest til. I stood in front of my parents nervous of what their reaction was going to be.
" what do you have there Ari." My dad asked. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I slowly handed my piece of paper to my mom. Her eyes scanned the paper. "James , Alice, could you go up to your rooms please? " She asked. I stood there with my hands behind my back. My dad looked at the paper.
" are you sure you wanna do this? I mean you're only 8 years old honey? Maybe we should think about it more." My dad said.
I shook my head, " no daddy, I love you guys so much. You'll always be my parents but I feel like something is missing. It hurts my heart daddy." I said holding my chest, "I can't look in the mirror without wondering who I look like or why my hair is black or why my skin is tan. I wanna know who I come from. Remember when you told me a puzzle isn't finished unless you have all the pieces daddy?" I asked. He nodded. "That's how I feel." I told him on the verge of tears. He nodded. "Let me & your mom talk about it, okay sweetie? I'm glad you came to us. " He said with tears in his eyes.
" I didn't mean to hurt your guys feelings." I said rubbing my eyes sniffling. He pulled me into a hug. They both hugged me tight.
" we want you to realize they not be everything you hope or they might be. I want you to prepare yourself for what might come if we do this." He said.
" yes sir." I said kissing his cheek then going to my room.