A Lovely Surprise

Healing

As time went on, my body healed and Michael gave me my space. Selena stayed with us for a while but shortly went back home. I missed having my best friend around.
I was walking on my own now, my ribs healed, my arm was no longer in need of a brace and most my bruises and cut have cleared but the pain of not being able to carry and birth a child still pained my heart greatly. I felt empty, though I haven't had a dedicated partner since trey, I always had the goal to start a family with someone but that opportunity has been stolen from me and I don't know what to do with my life anymore. That was my ultimate goal,prove I can be a good mom and get the chance to raise my own child. I'm constantly surrounded by kids that are like my own but at the end of the day they don't belong to me, including aria. Though I did birth her she wasn't mine anymore. She was Liz and shawns.
A tear dripped down my cheek as I stared at myself in my mirror in my room. I am so lost. What now?
"Dre?" Josh said knocking at the trim of my door. I looked over ,quickly wipping my tears. "Yeah?" I asked sniffling.
" sis, what's wrong?" He asked tiredly.
"I'm just having a rough time. I'll be o-o-okay." I said turning away from him. "Remember were suppose to go to Katherines today." He said. "I'm not feeling up to it." I said. "Dre, you haven't been out of the house in weeks. We planned this party for you so you could get out and everyone could see you. Get dressed & ready. I'm sending willow in here to help you." He said then walking away. And shortly those sweet little feet patered into my room. She was all dressed in her ballerina clothes. "You should dress like me! Be a ballerina today!" She smiled.
"I wish I could." I giggled. "Pick out my clothes while I do my make up?" I asked. She nodded smiling. I did my make up and my little ballerina kept peaking in on me. "What are you doing?" I giggled. "Your clothes need to go with your make up." She said I smiled, rolling my eyes.
I walked out in my robe, seeing her selections. They were all comfy clothes. "I think you wear this Hoodie & these pant." She smiled proud of herself. "Okay then that's what I am wearing." I said.
I put on the black running pants and the white Nike Hoodie with my tennis shoes.
"you could dress nicer." Josh commented. "She is comfy daddy. She looks pretty!" Willow said with her hands on her hips, getting onto him.
"Josh she is fine. It's not like it's a nice dinner. It's a BBQ" Erin said. "Alright alright, dang girls." He said throwing his hands up in defense.
*
*
We arrive at Katherines, when I walked in I was greeted with a hug from Jayden & ari. "Audrey." Katherine smiled hugging me. I hugged her back. She pulled away then holding my face, "how are you feeling babygirl." She asked genuinely concerned. "I'm doing okay." I said giving her my best smile. "I know your hurting, but you have tons & tons of people who love you & I'm always here for you." She told me. I nodded knowledging her offer.
"Thank you Katherine. I've always thought of you like a mother." I said.
"Audrey, it's good to see you're doing okay." Joseph said patting my back. "Thanks joseph." I smiled.
Everyone came and hugged me. Giving me their sympathy. I tried my best to show my appreciation, but no matter how much they said they loved me, the hole that was now in my heart could not be filled with sympathy from people who get to build a family & don't understand how bad I'm hurting. I don't even feel Josh understands.
I sat around and tried my best to be social but I could only take so much. Eventually I excused myself. I went up to Michaels & I old bedroom & sat on the bed. I glanced around the room looking at some of ari's baby stuff that still laid in the room. My eyes landed on the family picture that sat on the night stand. I picked it up looking at how happy I was. I had the ideal life. Now being pregnant at 15 wasn't the life style I wanted but everything was perfect at that time.
I had the man of my dreams, we were madly in love or at least I was madly in love with him, we had a beautiful baby girl. Our little family was so happy. I'll never get to experience that again... no man will ever want me, and I will never get to build a family. Tears poured down my face as I sat the picture back down and walked over to the window & stared at the sky trying to figure out what's next.
Minutes later I heard the door creek open. I wipped the tears off my face quickly, before turning to see Michael. I turned back to the window. "I figured I'd find you in here." He said softly. "What do you need michael?" I asked frustrated trying to stop my tears. He grabbed my elbow turning me to him. "I came to see if you're okay." He stated. I rolled my eyes, refusing to make eye contact with him. I pulled my arm away from him, "im fine, you can leave now." I said with an attitude. "You're not fine.... I know your hurting." He spoke softly.
"You don't understand." I said as more tears flooded my face.
"You got the perfect life," I said turning away from him, walking to the Window staring out it. "You get to raise your son, you still get to go find your soul mate & build a family. I will never get that. I will never get to raise my own child, I won't get to build a family." I said. "Dre all these people and kids here are your family." He spoke softly. I turned to him.
"That maybe so, but at the end of the day, I have nobody. I don't get to take a kid home and tuck them in and get to hear them say goodnight mommy, I love you. I will never get to hear those little feet patered on the other side of the door when I get home from work and I open the door and they come running to me to hug me. I will never get the second chance to be a mom." I cried. He walked to me, pulling me into his arms as I cried. "No one understands." I cried. He stroked my hair gently. "I am so sorry, this is all my fault." He said genuinely apologizing . I shook my head, pushing myself away from his embrace. "It wasn't your fault. You may have told me to leave but I was to pick ari up anyways. It would've Happened no matter what." I told him.
"Are you still mad at me?" He asked. "I need time to forgive you still. I'm not mad about the accident, I'm mad about the way you'd talk to me & treat me. You hurt me." I said. "Okay I'll give you more time." He said softly. I wipped my face frustrated. "I need a drink." I groaned. "Joe has some voka.i could get you." He offered. I nodded, "I need to find a way to get though this BBQ without breaking down every 2 seconds." I said. I followed him.down stairs as he got the vodka. He grabbed some sunny D and mixed the vodka in it. "Is that enough?" He asked. I nodded. "What are you two doing?" Katherine asked. Michael quickly screwed the cap on and shoved the bottle into the draw hoping she wouldn't notice. "Michael was just giving me some medicine for me head ache." I said. She pressed her lips together debating on whether we were lying or not. I smiled hoping it'd help out
"Okay, you two need to get out here. The kids want to play a game." She said then walking back out. Michael and I both sighed in relief. Katherine doesn't like drinking, so she usually doesn't keep any alcohol around but Joe hides some around the house.
"Thanks." I giggled taking a drink of it. "Mmmm, that's good." I said. "Let me try." He said. I handed him the drink.
"That is good." He said then walking outside. I follow shortly behind him. "Dad, where you guys been?" Ari asked.
"Me and your mom were just talking." He said.
"Okay, Joe said food is done, then we're playing games." Ari said.
We nodded.
"Dre sit by me and daddy!" Jayden said grabbing my hand dragging me to where he wanted me and Michael to sit. "I'll get you your food." Michael said. "I can get my food michael." I protest. "Just let me." He groaned getting up.
He came back with two plates.
"Daddy where my food?" Jayden whined. "Were sharing a plate knuckle head." He said.
Ari came and sat with us, as did Liz and Shawn. I took a drink of my mixed alcoholic beverage, "what's in there?" Ari asked.
"Sunn D." I answered.
"Oh I like sunny D. Can I have a drink?" She asked.
"No." Me and Michael both said.
" why?" She asked Confused. "Uh it's an adult drink," I said.
" sunny D is for kids." Ari said. Liz and Shawn were laughing.
"Not this sunny D." I replied. Ari gasped. "Mom are you drinking alcohol?" She asked.
"Shhh, don't let grandma hear you!" Michael shush her.
"grandma!" Ari hollered till shawn covered her mouth. "Aria stop." He laughed. She crossed her arms.
"You're gonna get us in trouble." Michael giggled.
"Well you shouldn't drink." She pouted. " well its Joe's and if you get Joe in trouble he won't be happy." I told her. She sat there and pouted and ate her food. She then got up and went to josh. "Oh gosh." I said. Soon I heard Josh walk up behind me. He grabbed my drink, tasting it. "Your not suppose to be drinking." He stated.
"the doctor said my liver was fine." I groaned. "you need to take it easy then so it stays fine." He said giving me my drink back. I rolled my eye annoyed. Ari sat back down with a smirk, being a smart ass. Yes, She has officially annoyed me too. "There was no need for that Aria Katherine." Liz said. "But mom-" "no, she is an adult. She doesn't need to answer to anybody about her drinking." Shawn said. "That was very immature of you to go and tell." Alice her older sister said. "I don't want her drinking though." She said upset. "You don't act like this when your dad's drink." Liz pointed out.
Ari just pouted, upset then got up and stomped into the house. "I'll go talk to her." I said getting up. I went in the house.
I walked around the Down stairs and she wasn't there. I went up stairs to find her in mine and michaels, she was crying. I sat next to her, "whats going on with you?" I asked. "I don't want you to drink mom!" She cried.
"Why? I don't get why you're so upset babygirl." I said.
She huffed frustrated, "James said sometimes when people get depressed they find a way to escape it like drinking or drugs and then they become addicts! I don't want you to be an alcoholic!" She cried. I wrapped my arms around her, "oh babygirl, no. That's not gonna happen. I promise." I told her. " You never know mom!" She said. "I do know. I've been through worst than this and I never leaned on any type of drugs or alcohol. I promise I won't end up to be any of that." I told her. "okay mom. I'm sorry, I just love you and don't want you to make bad choices." She sniffled. I kissed her head, "I love you too but I am an adult babygirl." I told her hugging her. "I know."
After a while we back outside and she went and played with her cousins as I sat back down with michael, liz, erin, josh and shawn.
"Sooo?" Michael asked.
"She didn't want me drinking because she thought I'd become an alcoholic." I said confused. "Really?" He asked. I nodded.
"It's probably because james is learning about that stuff through a program at school. They're trying to get the kids educated about drugs and alcohol and James has been talking about it a lot." Shawn said.
" ohhh okay." I said.
"Where is Jame's, I feel like I never see him. " Michael asked. "He's been really focused on school lately. He Barely leaves the house. " Liz answered
"That's good though, most these teenagers are out getting pregnant and or doing drugs." Josh said.
"*cough* dre." Erin giggled jokingly
"Shut up." I giggled.
"Half these teenagers now a day are lucky they got the parents they do. I was suppose to sit in my room and read and only come out when I was needed" I said. "I never understood that. But your situation was a lot different then most teens now. " Josh said.
"So what did you do between moving in with Josh and then seeing ari again?" Shawn asked.
"Ahhh after a year I went back to high school, finished on time went to college for fine arts & business then became apart of Josh's business." I said.
"You didnt date or do anything special?" Liz asked
I shrugged, "nothing serious." I said.
"You and Trey dated for 3 years...." Erin said.
"What happened, why did you and this trey guy break up?" Liz asked.
"I didn't tell him about Aria, so when he found out he told me that he didn't want any type of baby daddy issues or some kid to randomly pop up in my life. So he broke up with me." I said shivering. "What a douche." Michael mumbled. "He does sound like a jerk." Liz said. "I guess." I giggled rubbing my arms shivering because I was cold. "Are you cold?" Josh asked. I nodded. "Do you want a jacket?" Michael asked. I nodded. He called for aria. "There's a Hoodie laying on the couch, can you go get it.It's black." He said. She nodded running into the house. "So how's the business going josh?" Shawn asked. "Good, most of my stuff is moved up here. Just got to finish remodeling my new building." He said. Ari came back with the hoodie. "Thanks babygirl." He said. He handed me the Hoodie as I then slid it on. I breathed in smelling a familiar scent. "Is this one of your old hoodies?" I asked smelling it.
He nodded. "I can tell." I said.
"Daddy!" Jayden whined pulling on Michaels shirt. "Up, up, pweaase." Jayden said. I lifted him up to put on Michaels lap but he latched onto me instead. "Do you wanna go to your daddy?" I asked him as he laid his head on my chest. He shook his head. "Are you getting cold buddy?" He asked. Jj nodded. Michael grabbed a blanket out of jj's diaper bag, draping the blanket over him. "You warm?" I asked. He nodded closing eyes.

The night went on as the kids all went inside & laid down to watch a movie, us adults stayed up and talk & played card games.
"Uno!" I said excited. "What does she have mike?" Jackie said. Michael leaned back to look at my card but I quickly held it to my chest. "Don't cheat michael!" I giggled.
"I'm not." He said but then turned to jackie mouthing the color I had.
I gasped swatting his arm, "cheater!"
He just laughed. This was nice, I was enjoying myself. We all were getting along, no arguing. I was content, I felt okay. Michael was actually pleasant to be around & it was making my life 10 times easier.
*
"Alright we'll see everyone next Saturday." Josh said as we all said goodbye. I went over to a sleeping aria. "I'm leaving babygirl. I love you." I said kissing her head. She stirred in her sleep. "Shawn said wake her up so they can leave." Michael said squatting down by her. "Hey babygirl, wake up, it's time to leave." He said gently shaking her. "Ehhh daddy." She whined rubbing her eyes.
"Come on princess." He said. She sat up but then reached for michael. "I'm not picking you up." He giggled. She whined till he did.
"Push over." I giggled as he held our 9 year old. He stuck his tounge out at me.
He carried her to shawn setting her down.
"I'll see you later babygirl." Michael told her then leaving.
"Bye mom." She said hugging me.
"Can you grab danny?" Erin asked me. I picked up danny as he curled up in my arms sleeping.
We loaded up and headed home.

We put all the little ones to bed, they played all day so they were wipped out.
"Why do you still have Mikes hoodie?" Erin asked. "What? Oh crap! I forgot to give it back." I said slapping my forehead.
"He was pretty fun to be around today." She commented as we sat at the kitchen counter.
"Yeah it was nice." I smiled lightly.
" What did you two talk about when you guys were in the house?" She asked sipping on some water.
"I was just venting to him. I guess he was trying to be there for me cause he feels like this is all his fault." I said.
"Well it is." She replied.
I shook my head, "I was suppose to leave to pick ari up anyways. Whether it was him yelling at me or not I was suppose to leave. I was bound to get in that accident." I told her. She nodded understanding.
" then he asked if I was mad at him still. I told him I wasn't mad about the accident I was mad about the way he treated me, he said he'd give me more time. Then I said I needed a drink and he made me a drink." I giggled.
"You seemed to enjoyed yourself." Josh said walking in.
" I had fun, I'm glad I went." I admitted yawning. "Alright I'm going to bed. Night." I said.
" night." They said in unison.
I walked into my room. As always once I closed the door and I glanced around the loneliness consumed me. I felt my heart sink as I got ready for bed. I felt my anxiety kick in as my thoughts drifted. Eventually all of this family time was going to stop and no one would care as much as they do now. I was shaking slightly as I went to take michaels hoodie off but his scent claimed my nose. I breathed in his scent almost instantly calming down. I don't what it was about it but my nerves settled a bit. Maybe because it reminded me of a happy place, when michael and I were actually happy together.
Maybe if I sleep in it I'll actually get a good night's sleep.
I brushed my teeth then got into bed