Keep Me Where The Light Is (Camren)

Ch 0 - Prologue

Lauren's POV

//

---- In the not so distant past... ----

'Live by the sun, love by the moon'

I slip the chalk back into my pocket, and admire my handiwork.

With all the graffiti that's already on this massive rock, my little addition barely stands out.

It doesn't really bother me though; because I know that one of these days, someone else is gonna stand exactly where I am, and notice it.

And they'll stop, and think, and reflect on what it means to them, and maybe--

"Are you done being emo yet, Laur?" Lucy asks, from her spot on top of the rock.

I glance up, to see her face, just hovering over the edge.

The sun's directly behind her, and I have to lift my hand, and use it as a visor, so that I could actually see the smirk she's giving me.

Her dark brown hair's tied up in a messy bun, and the wind flits through the loose strands.

Our eyes connect, and she orders, "Get your heartbroken little ass up here."

Lucy offers her hand down to me, arm fully outstretched, and ready to hoist me up.

With her help, and a few grunts later, I manage to scramble up and on top of the boulder's warm, flat surface.

When I finally settle into position, and swing my legs over to sit at its sharp edge, facing the coastline, I have no choice, but to take it all in.

There's something humbling, about feeling overwhelmed.

I don't know what Lucy's on about, but this is actually the perfect setting to be as introspective and emotional as I feel right now.

I hear her shift, and she moves over to dangle her feet beside me, then leans back on her hands to lift her face to the sun.

Without turning her way, I mumble, "Can you take it easy on me, Luce? Camila and I haven't even been broken up for a month yet, and I'm getting so much hate on Twitter, I haven't even opened it since I tweeted about leaving..."

Lucy doesn't respond right away, but I know she heard me clearly.

Several quiet moments pass, until her voice fills the silence.

"It's kinda crazy, y'know. We were here, in this exact same spot, almost a year ago...remember the big 'L' that we didn't even notice 'til after?"

It's my turn to ignore her now, because I'm still waiting for her to acknowledge what I said.

Instead, she adds, with a laugh, "Wait, weren't you guys fighting then, too?"

I shake my head slightly, and roll my eyes at the same time.

Yes, Camila and I were fighting; I don't even remember what about, but I'm sure it was something trivial.

Lucy turns to glance at me, so I look back, and her expression softens when she says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive."

I can't help how my eyebrow crooks up automatically at her apology, and she laughs, saying, "Okay, fine, I can be a jerk sometimes, but that's why you love me, right?"

I don't know what it is, but the mention of love, makes me want to just keep folding into myself, thick enough to keep my heart from tearing apart.

Self-preservation made me leave, guilt keeps me away, and self-pity just cycles me all the way back, where I started.

Going on another impromptu road trip with Lucy seemed like the perfect escape at the time, but somehow, it still doesn't feel far enough.

Camila's probably sitting in Shawn's apartment right now, having breakfast and brushing their teeth together over the same sink.

They're probably laughing and joking around, writing music together, and cuddling on the couch. She's probably--

"Hey," Lucy interrupts. "Stop that already."

I don't even realize that my cheeks are moist, until Lucy inches closer to me, and drapes her arm around my shoulder, letting out a really long sigh.

I lean into her automatically, resting my head against hers.

Her presence is calming, and the loneliness I feel, quietly recedes. And even though the tide is inevitable, I still find solace in this reprieve.

Lucy reaches over with her other hand, and she brushes my hair back, behind my ear.

She peers down at my face, but I can't stop looking out at the sea.

Then she says, "Maybe...maybe as shitty as this all is, it's exactly what you need right now...breaking out on your own and all. Finding yourself, or some deep shit like that."

I want to believe in her frank positivity, but it's a little hard to swallow.

My chest begins to tighten again, and my emotions begin to fill me up, spilling over, and into my lungs, making it hard to breathe.

I feel Lucy begin to idly trail her fingers on my arm, and she continues, "I don't care how many times you deny it, or how much you say you haven't changed...but to be honest, you sorta started fading into the background a bit. I don't even know when you started closing yourself off, but it kinda just happened one day..."

I remain quiet, letting the breeze, and the waves, speak for me instead.

Because there's some truth in what she's saying.

Lucy knew me before the X Factor, before all the fame, and the attention; and she still knows pieces of me now, even though I'm breaking apart.

And as fiercely protective of me as she is, she's always been the first to call me on my bullshit, especially when it matters.

Her words continue to linger in my mind, tugging at my insecurities, and teasing them out.

A sigh escapes my lips, and I say, "Can we just stay here forever, instead?"

I feel Lucy place a brief kiss on my forehead, and she answers with a laugh, "No, not forever, but we can stay until the sun sets, if you want."

I look back out into the horizon, where the sun is hovering just above it.

Eventually, it'll set; and tomorrow, it'll rise again.

And I'm reminded of the quote I scribbled just below us; 'live by the sun, love by the moon'.

Is Camila the sun, or am I?

By lying, then leaving, am I dying to let her breathe, or to let myself breathe?

The question's too deep for me to answer right now, because I'm still wading in the shallow end of my pride and denial.

But then maybe...

Maybe if I can just somehow, keep her where the light is, then maybe someday, I'll be ready to find my way back.

----

//

A/N: So, just a little sneak peak. I already gave you a hint in the Epilogue, by throwing Lucy in there, but as you can see in the Prologue, she's gonna have a bit of a part to play in this sequel, as we progress through the story, and see more flashbacks from Lauren's perspective. 😘

Also, I'm gonna write a few chapters out before publishing, so be patient, loves! Might be a little bit of time before I get anything out.

- Kyrie

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