Keep Me Where The Light Is (Camren)

Ch 18.7 - Interlude - Normani's POV

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Normani's POV

Is she really just gonna stand there and ignore her?

I watch from afar, as Camila does her rounds with the crew, thanking and saying goodbye to everyone.

Everyone except Lauren, that is-- that much, is obvious.

It's the last day of the tour, and while everyone's happy to get back to their regularly scheduled lives, this part is always the most bittersweet.

I can see Lauren at the far end of the room, just sitting by herself, and looking longingly over at Camila, who's now laughing out loud and cracking jokes with a few folks.

It's been a few months now, and I know I was the first one who said they both needed time and space to figure things out.

But watching them these past few weeks, I'm actually surprised that they haven't gotten back together by now, especially with being in each other's faces almost everyday.

Maybe I just got so used to their hot and cold cycles, that I didn't even think about what would happen, if it just suddenly stopped.

It's a bit different than the last breakup; Lauren ran away, and it forced both of them to figure things out alone. It's clear that even after getting back together, there were still so many unresolved feelings between them.

I catch Lauren sighing, then looking down at her lap, just staring blankly at nothing.

I get why she lied about it; I don't approve, obviously, but I get it.

That Harvey guy was disgustingly slimy, despite his good looks. And if I were in Camila's shoes, I'd probably feel pretty shitty, knowing that that's what ruined my relationship.

Maybe, in some fucked up way, Lauren was trying to protect her.

My gaze shifts back to Camila, and for a moment, it almost looks like she's headed Lauren's way.

I see Lauren's head tilt up to greet her, almost getting up; but Camila just walks right by, without so much as a fleeting glance.

Wow...that hurt, all the way from here.

The fact that it's the lie that finally broke them, makes me think that maybe Camila never truly forgave Lauren, to begin with.

All that back and forth from before, when Camila was trying to decide, whether to take Lauren back or not. And there was that whole thing with Taylor, and lying about their relationship-- was it because she wasn't sure whether she made the right decision or not, after all?

If I trace the root of this all the way back to the time when Camila was spending a lot of time doing her promo with Shawn, even I thought she was being a bit selfish and self-involved at the time.

I mean, how many times did I try and talk Lauren out of her suspicions then? But even I kinda thought something was going on between Camila and Shawn; everyone did.

Maybe it never crossed a physical line, but who's to say if emotions were involved, or not? That counts too, maybe more so than just some one night stand.

I can't help but sigh; it's unavoidable, spending this much energy, trying to figure out what's happening between the two of them these days.

Making up my mind, I walk over to Lauren, who looks up at me with surprise on her face, like she didn't expect me to be talking to her.

I pull one of the chairs closer, and sit beside her, resting my hand on her knee. "Hey, boo. Are you just as excited as me, to sleep in your own bed tonight?"

Lauren cracks a resigned smile, and she nods, answering, "Yeah, it'll be nice to stay in one place for more than a few days at a time..."

She trails off, and it starts to feel uncomfortable, so I ask, "Hey, wanna come over for dinner tonight? My mom's in town, and she misses her some Lauren."

Her smile widens a bit this time, but then it falters a few seconds after. Then she replies, "You don't have to do this, Mani."

"Do what?"

"This," Lauren answers, gesturing between the two of us.Then she breaks eye contact to look down at her hands, and continues, "I'd...I'd understand if you don't wanna be friends with me anymore."

I lean back, and respond immediately, "Oh get over yourself, Laur."

I can't help but feel slightly annoyed, but I try to keep a lid on my temper by softening my tone. "Do you really think self-pity's gonna get you through this?"

"I--I didn't..."

"We've been friends for several years now, Lo. Out of all of us, you're the worst at being alone. You take everything personally-- and I mean, everything. Pretending you don't care what other people think or say about you, won't change a thing--"

"I can't help it, okay?" she says defensively, adding, "You know how insecure I get--"

"Seriously, Lauren. Stop saying it like you've trademarked the damn term." I take her hand, to make sure I get her attention. "Listen, Lo, people say and do stupid shit all the time because they're scared-- of loss, of judgment, of change, even."

I crook an eyebrow at her, and continue, "Some people, make these same mistakes waaay more often, than others--"

Her lips tighten, so I roll my eyes slightly, continuing, "Okay, sorry, I couldn't resist. Anyway, what I'm trying to say, is that you are who you are, and someone's either going to love you, hate you, or just really don't give a fuck about you, and your feelings. And to be real, you're gonna have to make peace with that. So there's no point trying to control situations, because to be honest, babe, even with the best of intentions, you're really, really bad at it, and you're just making things worse."

I bite my lip, realizing that my dose of tough love, might've come on just a little too strong.

I watch as Lauren's lips part, but she's speechless, letting my words sink in.

Yeah, I know I have the tendency of causing these reactions, but I try to remind myself that Lauren's probably feeling extra sensitive these days.

So to make sure she knows it comes from a place of love, I get up, and pull her along with me. "You're coming to dinner. You're gonna hang out with moms and I. Then we're gonna listen and dance to some bomb ass music, and take selfies with those stupid snapchat filters that I hate so much. And, I'm not taking no for an answer."

I place my hands over my hips, and add, "See? Direct, honest, and you still luh me, right?"

I see a hint of a smile touch her face, and she nods.

There's hope for her yet.

I link my arm around hers, and start dragging her over to the pockets of people left, so that we can all give each other a proper goodbye.

In the back of my mind, I cross my fingers tightly.

Because there's only so much you can do for your friends, before they decide to do it for themselves.

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A/N: Almost there, just a few more.

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