A Different Way[Louis Tomlinson]

Chapter Seventeen

[This is a really short chapter, sorry. There should be another chapter up tomorrow so stay tuned!]

We play Fifa. Louis beats me. I throw the remote at him. He tackles me on the couch, pinning me against it. His face dangles over mine.

"Amber darling. I love you." His voice comes out raspy. I giggle a little, and he smirks down at me. Next thing I know, his mouth is attacking mine and I feel him pressing himself harder against me. He frees my hands and I reach up, grabbing his neck. His arm wraps underneath my waist and his free hand traces my neckline. We lay there pressed against each other kissing for several minutes. But then my phone rings on the table in the kitchen. Louis pulls his head away from mine, and I sigh. He rolls off of me and onto the floor. I stand up, smoothing out my dress and walking into the kitchen. I pick up the phone. CallerID:Luke. I'm about to put the phone down, but then my mind tells me differently.

"Hello." I say angrily.

"Amber Amber! I'm sorry I'm sorry please!"

"Luke it wasn't your fault... Luke calm down..."

"I told him... I'm sorry I told him..." Luke crys.

"Luke, Louis didn't tell them... It was Stephanie.. Calm down I'm not blaming you for anything..." Suddenly my phone rings again. CallerID:Cali

"Hang on Luke, Cali is calling me..." I pause him and answer Cali's call.

"Cali?"

"AMBER IT WAS ME OKAY IT WAS ME. I ADMIT... It was me... I told a pap... I was drunk after you left and I went for a walk and I told the pap about you because I had just overheard Luke telling Louis... It was me I'm sorry so sorry... I'm sorry you tried to kill yourself again because of my stupid drunk self... God I hate myself..." Cali cry's. I can't think straight. It was CALI? Of all the people it was Cali? Even drunk Cali? I don't reply to her. I stand there with the phone pressed to my ear.

"Amber.. Amber... Please..." I hang up on her. I scream out, and throw the phone down on the table. Louis runs in, and I begin crying.

"Amber what happened are you okay?" Louis rambles, holding me.

"It was Cali!" I cry.

"Cali told?"

"She said she was drunk... And a pap asked her about me... It was her Louis it was her... This is all because of her..." I hold my arms out in front of me. I start to feel weak, and my knees begin to buckle again. Louis catches me, and he picks me up. He carries me into the main room and down into his lap on the couch.

"Amber she didn't mean to... She was drunk... I've said bad things when I was drunk before to..." Louis whispers into my hair.

"But still... Louis... I hate it... I hate it..." I continue to cry into his arms.

"What do you hate... Amber what's going on that you wont tell me?"

"I hate it all... Everything... Louis you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm sorry I'm such a fucked up mess... Louis I love you and I'm sorry... Everything's wrong with me..." I clutch my head as it throbs with words and thoughts that I've kept locked up for so long. Louis holds me tighter and I hear his breathing speeding up.

"Amber, darling... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You are everything I ever wanted. I love you so much, Amber. Listen to me, you are perfect. Don't listen to them, any of them. You are amazing just the way you are, okay?" Louis cry's into my hair.

"You've got to be kidding... You deserve way better than me... I'm sorry." I whimper against his chest.

"Amber YOU deserve way better than ME. You are wonderful, beautiful, amazing, cheerful, you have so much going for you, and I'm... Well I'm ME... I mean, why do you even like me?" Louis sobs.

"Louis... You are all those things and better, and I like you for you. You are the greatest person ever. What I don't understand is why you like me..." I wipe my eyes, turning my head to face him. Tears stream down his face.

"Amber, you don't understand how much I love you. And I love you... Because you are you, you are so amazing, darling. God Amber I can't even explain... You're just an amazing person." He stares into my eyes.

"Louis you are an amazing person. And I love you so much, you are so amazing..." I whisper, wrapping my hand around his leg. He holds my waist tighter and reaches up to my cheek with his other hand. He pulls my head into his. Louis holds my face so delicately and the kiss is so soft I feel like I'm melting. I lean into him, feeling his warmth wrapping it's self around me. I can still taste the salt on his lips from his tears. Or maybe they're mine. I pull away from him, and I rest my head on his shoulder. My hand drops from his jaw and fall onto the couch next to him. He runs his hand across my shoulder and down my arm. I breathe in deeply and turn my head to press my it against his neck. I stare down at my bandaged arms. Underneath, are thirteen scars, each one sewn shut. They burn like hell but by now I'm used to it. This isn't the first time. The bracelet he gave me hangs against the fabric, standing out against the cream colour. I can't tell you how long we sat there, taking turns breathing in. My eyes ache with unshed tears. My mind races through jumbled thoughts and my heart begins to sink into my stomach. I'm nothing anymore. Nothing but a shell filled with horrible things. Horrible things that make me who I am.