Mr. Gilinsky // book i

part xxxv

XXXV

important authors note at the end. x

Deep down inside, I know he's not happy. Neither am I. I can tell by the way his responses drift off when we talk, he seems generally uninterested. I feel bad for Jasmine and Noah, completely oblivious. Actually, I don't feel bad for them. I envy them. I wish our relationship was as heartfelt as it was in the beginning. Ever since my slip up with Michael and his "slip up" with Madison, we both refused to speak about it. Michael was still my best friend, he came to visit me regularly, he would even take me to ultrasounds when Jack couldn't. Whenever Michael is around, Jack is cold and rude. A part of me is annoyed by it, but another part of me is kind of happy that he still cares.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when a knock on my door surfaced. I swiftly got up and stood on my tiptoes to see through the peep hole, opening it once I see that it's Michael.

"Hi beautiful." Michael said as he pulled me in for a big, the scent of his after shave over coming my senses.

"Hi, let me grab Noah." I said, before walking into Noah's room and grabbing him out of his cot. By the time I got back, Jasmine was asking Michael 1,001 questions.

"Why is your hair red?" She asked.

".. 'Cause it's cool." He shrugged.

"Alaska, can I dye my hair red?" Jasmine asked me, her hands clasped together.

"Such a good influence, Michael." I laughed as we walked to the car. Jack currently was at work and Jas has late start on Wednesday's. I could have easily taken them myself, but I love having Michael as company. We all got situated in his red Ford Taurus, before his phone rang.

"Hi baby." He cooed into the phone, unfortunately he is still dating Madison. I don't know why, and honestly, neither does he. Their phone call was cut short when she got pissed off that he wouldn't transfer money to her account.

"Are you excited for school?" Michael exclaimed in the most joyful tone I've ever heard, trying to change the subject quickly. Jasmine had a dull 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' look on her face.

"Is that a joke?" She shrined out, causing Michael and I to crack up laughing. We dropped her off at school right on time, Michael giving her the biggest hug before sending her off. It's quite adorable how he is with the kids.

"Michael, I know it's like 10 o'clock in the morning, but can we please get Red Robin? I'll pay for it, I got a gift card for christmas––"

"Oh course we can, I'm craving fry sauce TO THE MAX." He shouted, quoting my favorite childhood tv show, Wizards of Waverly Place. We wound through the streets until we ended up downtown, a block away from Pike Place. He insisted on paying for parking which upset me considering it's like $8 an hour downtown.

After ordering and waiting in ripped vinyl booths and grumbling tummies, we finally got our food. My due date is still 8 weeks away, but I am massive. Incredibly massive and incredibly hungry. I finished my whole plate of arctic cod within record time and ate half of the tub of fries before Michael could get to them. My phone started buzzing crazily on the table, Jack was calling.

I feel guilty. Incredibly guilty. For no reason, even. I can feel the love going away. I can feel it leaking out of my heart and swirling down the drain. I snapped out of my trance and answered it.

"Hi baby." I chirped. He huffed before lightly coughing.

"Hi. Where are you?" He deadpanned. I lightly chuckled before shoving another fry into my mouth.