Chasing Love

Part 1: Humiliation and Heartbreak

I did not feel like this in the twenty four years of my existence. I am used to having things go my way. I was a good friend, deemed generous by many, had a good head on my shoulders.

But today was one of those days, I did not feel like things were going my way. I was standing in a  Versace white short dress with Loubotin heels which were a present from my best friend, Anidhi. I was surrounded by my friends who were all laughing and talking. I had plastered a smile on my face too as that is what the situation demanded. What was I  supposed to do?When  people ask me why I am crying a Nile river. Forget the people. What will I say to the person who will be the most concerned? My best friend, Shivam? I  had no idea what to tell him. 

"Isn't that right Nehal?" Asked Anidhi. Lost in my thoughts, I was completely oblivious to what the conversation was about. 

"Sorry?" 

"Where are you?" Demanded Divyam, Anidhi's husband. 

"Do you mind? I need to speak to Anidhi for a minute." Divyam left us alone immedaitely. In his six year long run with Anidhi he knew us better than anyone. Except Shivam, of course. He was used to us now. And he was more than understanding. Him and Anidhi had met in college and had gotten married right after. They were the most happily married couple, I knew. Sure, they had their fights and all but they always made up. 

"Whats up with you Nehal? You are lost in your own world!". I pulled her arm to take her away from anyone's ear shot. Last thing, I wanted was people knowing I am in hysterics in my best friend's engagement party. 

"I can't breathe!" I managed to choke out. I am sure she could see the tears in my eyes which were fighting their way out. She immediately put her drink down. Anidhi knew me the best. I could say that Shivam knew me the best but there were things only girls can understand. But right now neither of them could tell what was killing me. I was perfectly fine. Happy if you ask me. Everything at this point of my life is nothing short of perfect. Great job, great life, and a boyfriend that I had been wanting to be with since I was thirteen. Everything was great. 

But today morning, I woke up and I could not shake this new feeling that formed inside of me. It felt like I was losing everything. It felt like I was losing everything I ever had but I was not losing anything. I woke up to a good morning text from Shivam.

Good morning :* I can't wait to see you today after almost three months. Don't you miss my engagement party you creep! 

And that finally sunk in. Engagement party. Shivam was getting married! 

"I am in love with him," I told Anidhi. 

"Who? Anshul? Did you guys have a fight?" 

"No. We did not." 

"Then?"

"I am in love with Shivam!" And I started crying immediately. Anidhi looked for tissues to hand me and handed me two.

"Babe, calm down." 

"I..I .. can't. I'm losing him. I am losing him forever. I love him. I love him so much."

"Where is this coming from all of  a sudden Nehal?

"I don't know. I love him." Suddenly an idea hit me. I am not going to lose my best friend to a girl he has known six months. I am going to try to get him back. I got up immediately. 

"Where are you going?" Anidhi demanded.

"To the stage!" 

Before she could stop me, I headed towards the stage where the band was playing. I rushed on the stage and the band stopped playing.

"I need the microphone please," I said to the lead singer who looked at me like I was bonkers. 

"I said something," I gave her a hard stare and she handed me the microphone. Good girl. 

"Hello everyone," I could see I had everyone's attention including Shivam's. Shivam and his fiance, Tripti. Anidhi looked terrified and was gesturing me to put the microphone down and come to her. 

"I am sorry to disturb a perfectly good party but I have something very important to say." A huge smile formed on Shivam's face. He probably thought I was going to congratulate him. Why wouldn't I? I was the one who introduced him to Tripti. She was my cousin sister and I knew they would get along! I was the one who told him that I wanted him to move on and find someone for himself. And the day, he finally did, I was the one who was most ecstatic. 

"Shivam. I have known you for six years but they have been no less than sixty to me. You have always been there for me and I know I lacked in the being there department. I was lost in my own world. I had no idea what a gem I had. You made my life wonderful when you came in it and I always underestimated your worth. But you continued to love me. And now, honey, I can't let you get married."

Tada. His smile was gone. 

"Get down, girl." It was Shivam's father. "You have done enough damage." After our breakup, Shivam kind of refrained from speaking to anyone. His father hated me the most. 

"I love you Shivam. I have loved you ever since I have known you and I can't love anyone else the way I love you."

"Get down Nehal." 

Like in the movies,  I at least expected Shivam to take a step towards me but he did not. He remained rooted to the spot he was standing on with his arm around my sister, Tripti who looked really, really mad. 

"I know it is an extremely late realization but you know me so well and you know how confused I am always about practically everything. But not today. I love you so much. I am sorry I broke up with you. I thought there were better things waiting for me but I should have known there was nothing on the other side of the mountain because I already had the best."

He finally took a step towards me. He was walking towards the stage when I saw Tripti saying something to him and he turned around to hold her hand and replying back. She gave a smile and he placed a kiss on  her forehead. 

And then it hit me. I saw Shivam's angry father standing right before the stage ready to turn me into Human toast. Entire crowd looking at me like I was bonkers. Anidhi shaking her head and making calls. Probably to a psychologist. The happy couple seemed oblivious to everything. And there I was. Trying to get a love I let go four years ago, back. In his engagement party. So I did the next best thing I could.

I ran.