All I wanted to do was escape and now that I'm in Goa, away from everyone and everything, I still cannot escape. Because for escaping I need to have a memory loss or something.
After our lesbian fiasco, we pretty much had a very boring, not so happening week. We sun bathed, shopped and neither of us spoke about our lives back home. I guess, Sanya wants to leave everything behind as well. But it isn't easy. Someday or the other we have to return and being here is no solution I guess.
Anidhi and I are not speaking but as Sanya tells me there is something wrong with her relationship as well. I really want to laugh. What the hell is happening in our lives? You know what I think. Men understand men and women understand women, so there should be no straight relationships.
Who am I to complain. I caused all the confusion in my own life. Whenever I take trips or something, I always feel like something amazing and life changing might happen. Maybe I will meet an amazing guy or maybe I will find something to write about in my new book. Nothing such has ever happened and nor will it happen in this trip especially since we are living in the LGBT community region, so no straight guy will come across here. Aaargh. The most amazing thing that will happen is that we will get to take a tan home which really isn't that great either because its not like we have a pale complexion or anything, bless Indian skin tone.
Suddenly my phone rang, breaking all my thoughts. It was an unknown number.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Nehal." It was a deep voice and I knew it. Divyam. Why was he calling me?
"Hi, Divyam. Is everything okay?"
"No, not really. I'm sorry, did I disturb or anything?"
"No, I was just reading. Whats up?"
_____________ Chasing Love_____________
SHIVAM
I think women are the most confusing elements there are but the one I had to be in love with is the worst of them all. I have tried my best and yet, I cannot see what is going on in her mind. Just her name is enough to send me into questioning and overthinking mode.
And, I am not an over thinker.
But she makes me. She drives me crazy endlessly, she has the power to change my mood from good to bad, to bad and good. And boy, does she know it. It seems like that she is aware of her power and uses it to entertain herself. While her face screams innocence, inside she is one evil girl.
And now I run into Divyam to find out what? She broke my engagement, then fought with me, did not even try to persuade me after it and I kept waiting and waiting to find out she is in Goa now. What the hell is wrong with her? Why can't she just come and talk?
These three girls are witches or something, I am sure. Arvind is depressed because Sanya left, Divyam is upset because Anidhi still can't be loyal to him and I....I...I have the worst one! She loves me and she loves someone else. She wants to be with me and she wants to be with someone else. but most of all, WHY CAN'T SHE FREAKING SORT THINGS OUT WITH ME? What is she waiting for? Me going to her with a bouqet of flowers asking for her forgiveness?
I am sure she is. Women. Screw romance novels and taylor swift songs! They create high expectations in women and when we can't meet them..................WORLD WAR THREE!
She is the one who broke up with me, albeit I caused it. In the end of our relationship, I drove her to believe I did not love her.
But I do. I love her so much. It was just stupidity on my part and over thinking on hers.
I know why she is confused. She still hasn't forgiven me and she still doesn't think I am good enough for her.
It is not her fault though. But why does she have to think so negative regarding me?
Two months before our breakup, we had the biggest fight ever.
"I don't understand. Why shouldn't Arvind and Sanya be together?" She asked me one night, when I had gone to her place to watch a movie with her, when she spoke about wanting to set her friend Sanya and my friend Arvind up.
"You don't know what an ass he is," I replied. "He will taunt me endlessly."
Little did I know this line will be the death of me. If only god had told me or warned me before hand.
"Taunt YOU?" She put the emphasis on you and I knew another argument is going to take place. "Why will he taunt you?" she asked. She had wiggled herself out of my arms and now was on the other end of the couch.
"Because he is an ass," I said calmly.
"Yeah, so? What is there to taunt about?", her tone had raised. She was angry. She knew what I meant and she was just looking for confirmation.
"Please honey, I don't want to fight," I pleaded.
"Shivam," she said sternly.
"You...you know..about looks. I mean, Sanya is really pretty...and you know how he is," I said slowly.
She got up. Her expression had changed and it looked like she was about to cry. And I knew I was in trouble.
"So? Why does it matter to you?", she shouted.
"It does not. You know how I attractive I think you are!" I said trying to calm her down. "It does not matter to me. I am talking about him."
"Yeah, but it shouldn't bother you what he says! You should shut him up with your own reply," she shouted.
"Unless you can't. Because you don't think you have anything to say right? You agree with him?" she continued.
"I'm sorry and now you are over reacting," I got up too.
"Leave, now please."
"Nehaa.." I began but she cut me off. "Leave before my mom comes homes."
The mom trick. I had to go.
After that things changed a lot. It was never the same. She had made up her mind about me, making herself believe I was just like Arvind.
And two months later, I lost her.
A/N:
Hi you annoyingly silent readers! I hope you are enjoying the story, if you are please don't forget to vote and comment! It would help my story reach more and more people and will mean a lot!:)
Thank you!
xx Prakriti
YOU ARE READING
Chasing Love
ChickLit#43 in Chick-Lit on 5/5/2016 Nehal Hudaa has always been confused about what she wants. But never in a million years she thought she will be confused about love, when she finally had the man of her dreams, the one she wanted ever since she was thir...
