Chasing Love

Part 6: Forever Alone

Forever 21 was one of my favourite stores to shop at. I loved their dresses the most. Shopping is honestly magical. For that time, I completely forget all the troubles in my life. 

The amazing feeling of holding shopping bags and knowing all the goodies inside just makes every girl's heart happy. Even any boyfriend could not give me the happiness shopping does. 

But the past year or so, even this therapy was useless against that virus. The virus which had infested my brain and my heart. No matter what he did, I felt like I had no choice but to take him back. He was a shitty boyfriend  most of the time but even then I never thought he would cheat on me.

"Ignore him Sanya. Once he knows he can lose you, he will change his ways." Nehal used to tell me all the time. I did listen to her. I ignored the man for so much so for a month but nothing worked. He was there and I was nowhere. He seemed like the only one who could make me the happiest girl in the world but he was also the one to make me the depressed one. 

But I thought I was the same for him. Like it was difficult for him as well to get rid of me. But us girls are so stupid. 

Anyway, today the shopping therapy wasn't for me. It was for Nehal. But looking at her glum face, it did not look like it was helping her mood.

"Maybe we should get away." I said all of a sudden. Not knowing where it came from.

"What?"

"You heard me. Lets go to Goa. Beaches will do us good."

"You are crazy." She huffed. "You will cancel on me last minute." 

It was true. My brother was pretty tight when it came to getting away. 

"I won't tell my brother."

"What happened to you all of a sudden? Is everything alright? What about Arvind?"

"Nehal come on. I need this and so do you. Let everyone else go to hell." 

"Anidhi?"

"She is busy, she won't be able to make it. Beside she is pregnant and Divyam is crazy protective of her."

"When wasn't he." Nehal said sighing. 

"Did you speak to Anshul?"  

"I did. I'm staying with mom now."

___________CHASING LOVE___________________________

Nehal was back to living with her mom and we were back on the old terrace we used to hang out on when we were teenagers. With beer bottles in hand and a pack of nachos, we sat on the railing looking at the stars.

"Things are not good with Arvind, are they?"

"No."

Silence.

"You know Sanya, I think I am single and now I want to be single. Concentrate on other things. Love can wait."

"Can wait? I'm done with it. It is like handing the remote control of your emotions to someone else."

"Maybe."

"Goa will do us good."

"It might. I spoke to a friend of mine, and she is letting us live in her cottage there. We can stay as long as we want."

"What about work?", she asked.  

Oh, yes. Work. I was a gym trainer and nutritionist. 

"I'm taking a month off."

This was probably the first time, I was going out of the city without my family. This was the first time I was doing something really fun and just for myself. I was planning on using another number while I was going to be in Goa. I had no intentions of thinking about work or Arvind. I just wanted to be happy without being emotionally dependent on someone else. 

"This dress is pretty cute." Nehal said pointing at my purple maxi dress that I had bought just today from Forever 21.

"Thanks. I love that place."

"I know. Maybe we should open our own store. Forever Alone."

"That is a pretty good name, suits us."

"I know," She said laughing.

Arvind was a crappy boyfriend but he knew how to touch in exact places and I don't mean just physically. In the beginning of our relationship, I would wake up in the morning with good morning texts some days and some days he used to contact me right in the evening. It was like he had mood swings. Some days he decided to be the best boyfriend ever and some days he acted like he had no idea if I even existed. 

Just when I would be mad at him for ignoring me  for three days straight, he would come at my house with flowers and chocolates. Jasmine and Snickers, because they were my favourite. He would invite me to his friend's parties and proudly introduce me to everyone as his girl friend. Keeping an arm tightly wrapped around me and if someone would hit on me, he would just glare at them so darkly that no one tried again. 

And at sometimes, he used to get so drunk and shamelessly flirted right in front of me. But then he confused me even more. He was there for me every time I needed him. If he saw even a drop of  tear he would go crazy trying to cheer me up. Of course, most of the tears caused now were from him. 

But I did not even cry this time. I was just numb. I felt nothing. I did not miss him and I did not care for him. I was blank now. Completely. 

Checking my phone, which was a habbit now, I saw two text messages from him.

I miss you Sanya.

I got a job. 

Around six months back, I was having lunch in his place.

"Do you like everything?" He had cooked everything himself that day. He was not into cooking though and I could see a few cook books lying around.He even had arranged for Bride Wars and He Is Just Not That Into you for us to watch. He was not into romantic comedies but  with me, he used to watch whatever I liked. 

He set the mousse cake on the table and looked at me with a smile. He looked gorgeous with a black silk shirt and white jeans. My favourite combination on him. 

"Everything is perfect. I can't believe you cooked for me!" 

"I can do anything to make you happy, honey." He said while kissing my forehead. 

"So, how is everything?"

"Good." He said coldly. I know what that meant. Arvind had no job and was living off of his father's money. He had left him and his brother his business. His brother worked everyday but Arvind hated his father's shoe company. He was not into it and hardly showed up so his entire family resented him.

"Maybe you should get a job. Something you like."

"Sanya."

"Arvind, I just want us to have a future."

"Why is this not enough?". He shouted all of a sudden and got up from the table. "I don't like to work. There is nothing good enough for me and I do have money."

"Arvind, partying every night will just finish it off."

"Now you are talking like my family. You will soon resent me too." He said walking towards his bedroom door. "I'm going to sleep.You can leave whenever you like."

That had left me crying and he was going to go sleep. We did not speak for a week after that before we made up. 

Looking at this text now, I hated him even more. Blocking his number, I took another sip of the beer. I was looking forward to the upcoming trip.