Chasing Love

Part 20: The Kind Lady

My most favorite chapter, yet. Do give me your feedback! 

Anidhi's point of view.

I feel guilty about lying to Nehal, I really do. I shouldn't have lied to her but I did not want to drag her into the mess my life is right now. She just got out of her own mess and she really did not need another pie to pick cashews from before eating.

Yesterday was the first time Divyam rejected me? What a lie. It was more like the hundredth. I really believed that once we will be together again everything will be fine but I was wrong. We constantly disagree on each and everything all the time, which leads to fights. Plus it really doesn't help that my man is even more dramatic than me.

It wasn't even like he had some work that's why he did not come to my appointment. We fought again over a petty issue and that's why I chose to come alone and asked Nehal for a ride.

What am I supposed to do? Things are not working between us at all. But I love him and I'm having his kids! I'm tied to him and there is no way I can leave him. I just can't find any answers. I'm trying really hard, I am. I try to be a good wife and I try my best to go according to his terms but he never notices it. Also I knew that he won't let the fact go that I chose to go to a club in my pregnancy. It wasn't like I was drinking or anything.

"You know what, I don't think Nehal is a good influence on you. She makes you go to these places and makes you meet new guys all the time," he told me last night.

"Nehal isn't my mother, I can make my own decisions!" I retorted angrily. Now he has problems with my best friend? This is the height of possessiveness.

"So it is your decision to see all these guys?"

"What guys Divyam! I was hanging out with my friends and it was only by chance that Shivam and his friends were there as well," I said now completely annoyed.

He muttered something to himself and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Once he got out, he observed me for a second and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Reading," I told him happily. Novels are the only thing that relax me completely.

"That looks like a romance," he said.

"It is," I replied. "It's called Eternal Love. It is really beautiful."

"You know what Anidhi? Novels like these infuence you to make the rash decisions that you make. Like going back to your ex crush and all. Why don't you try reading a newspaper? Do you even know a newspaper's name?"

"Now you will tell me what to read and what not to read?"

"I'm only suggesting and my suggestions are just for your own good."

Anyway that's how we ended up sleeping separately. I was completely annoyed. Divyam's control over me is getting crazier by the day and I had no control over what to do.

He was right, I did make rash decisions without thinking anything through. I never thought about the consequences. But as much as I know that meeting Jai was wrong, I still don't feel that living with Divyam is right. So what do I do about it?

Divyam wasn't home and I decided to take a walk in a park nearby. As I was contemplating my thoughts I stumbled upon a rock and almost fell over an old lady who was sitting on a bench beside me.

"Are you alright, dear?" she asked me sweetly.

"Yes, I am. Are you okay? I'm sorry I was so lost in my thoughts I did not see you."

She laughed and replied, "It is fine, honey. I see good news is upon you soon," she said while pointing at my belly."

I laughed. "Yes, I'm carrying triplets." I told her. "It is extremely scary." I said.

"The best things in life are scary. If they are not scary then they are not the best," she said.

I was taken aback. That actually was true. "So how are you?" I asked her.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking dear."

"What are you doing here all by yourself." I asked her noticing her walker beside her. "Isn't someone coming to take you back home?"

"No dear, no one is. I live alone." She smiled at me. I felt bad for her and she noticed my expression.

"Oh no dear, don't worry. It was my own decision. I never got married you see, I lived with my sister. She died a year ago and her kids insist on me living with them but I like living the way I do."

"Oh, I'm really sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"You said you never got married."

"Oh, haha. Don't worry about it, it was my decision. Many men came my way."
I was astonished. I wasn't against people not marrying but in her time no one chose to stay that way.

"But why?" I asked her, completely flabbergasted.

"I did not want to depend on anyone. I have had an amazing life, I got to travel and see things women my age at the time could not even imagine. I met many wonderful people and amazing men." She winked at the last party at me and I laughed.

"But aren't you alone now?"

"Everyone is alone at some part of their life, it does not matter if we have a spouse or not. Loneliness comes from within and the solution to loneliness from within ourselves too."

"And if I maybe so bold, I have to say you look trapped dear."

"Things are not so good with my husband but I love him. I can't think of leaving him."

"Love does not make you feel trapped, it frees you. Are you sure you are in love with him and not the idea of being in love with him?"

"Whats the difference?"

"You will learn. Just remember to have the courage to do what your heart desires. If you are doing things according to other people, you will always be trapped. No one can cage you but yourself. Don't blame your husband, blame yourself. Don't blame your family, blame yourself. Don't wait for someone to come help you, help yourself," she said while overwhelming me completely. "Be a good example for them," she pointed at my belly. "If you cannot answer the question of the situation being wrong or right just put someone else you love in it and think, what would you want them to do?If you have a daughter will you ask her to marry a man like your husband?"

I had nothing to say to that. "But he takes care of me, he takes of our business. I can't do the things he does. What will I do without him?"

"Have you ever tried doing things without him?"

"No."

"Then you will never know." She said with a smile. "And as far as I know, our capabilities cannot be known unless we get out of our comfort zone. But you look like you have a lot of potential, you are just walking on the wrong road."

"Oh, old age has completely baffled me. Look at me talking non stop and look at the time. It is time for me to go to the temple." She got up and reached for her walker and I offered to help. She politely refused and left.

The next week, I went to the park regularly but I never saw her again.