Chasing Love

Part 25: Roller coaster

"But you are so hypnotizing 

You have got me laughing while I sing, 

you have got my smiling in my sleep

and I can see this unraveling,

 your love is where I am falling."

"Hey, you are up early." Shivam said as he rolled over from the left side of the bed to see me getting dressed up. 

"Yeah, I have to be somewhere. I made you breakfast." I smiled and gave him his good morning kiss. I grabbed my overnight bag and put on my shoes. I had to get home and get ready to meet Kapil for brunch. I promised to help him write a letter to his mother. 

"Be where? It's Saturday. You don't go to the office on Saturday." He asked and got up from the bed. "Where is my love off to?"

"Oh it's nothing. I promised to meet Kapil for brunch today."

"Kapil? Your friend I met yesterday?"

"That's the one!" 

"Nice. Have fun." And then he kissed me as I was about to leave.

Ever since he got his promotion, Shivam's hours have been really crazy. He hardly time to sit and relax so I did whatever I could like making breakfast and not disturb him as much as possible. I was so dumb to think he was going to pop the question, he is so wrapped in work right now to think of getting married. Which is cool by me because I am on the same page. 

Dressed in a peacock blue sundress and white heels, I still felt  under dressed in front of the impeccably dressed Kapil. He was dressed in what I suspect was an Armani suit. 

"Good morning." He greeted me with a huge smile. "Sorry, I had a meeting and had no time to change back."

"No problem," I smiled and we head towards his car. "So when is your mom's birthday?"

He smiled at me and we got in his car. "It was a month ago."

"What?" He lied?

"I lied."

"Why?"

"So that I could get to spend some more time with you."

"Kapil, I have a boyfriend!"

"So? Did I ask you to marry me? Relax. It is just two friends talking and having brunch."

He had a point. Or did he? 

"Kapil..." I began. "Look, I have to make it clear that I am in a serious relationship with Shivam so hope you know that and are not carrying any expectations that I am not going to meet."

"Sweetheart, relax. Do you even know what you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"I have read your blogs, Nehal. You are confused and you are waiting for something amazing. Are you sure that's Shivam?"

"Are you sure that's you?"

"No. But we can discover that together." He said with a knowing smile. He looked so confident of himself and what he was saying. He acted like he knew what was right and according to him it was for me to date him.

"You have read my blogs?"

"All of them."

"As much as I appreciate that, I am sorry but you did not read them properly. You missed the main point."

"And what is that?"

"You see Kapil, let me explain it you the way I understand things the best." And I smiled and continued. "When you go shopping, you find lots of amazing dresses. You try on a few and buy some of them and then you pass by another store and you find amazing clothes over there too. But we all have a card limit, at some point we have to stop. So whatever our limit is, we will try and buy the best out of it. I have reached my limit and bought the best for me already."

"How do you he is the best for you?"

"I don't. But if I keep going after one guy and another, I will never know. See, earlier I was scared to commit. I used to think that if I commit to one guy, I will lose my chance to find someone better. But to be honest, there is no prince charming and there is no prince. There is a man for a woman, who love each other like in the movies and annoy the hell out of each other like in real life and still stay together." 

"I see. And that man is Shivam?"

"That man is Shivam." And for the first time all my doubts went flying out the window. I did not care if he was going to ask me to marry him or not, I did not care if he was giving me one hour of his day or ten. He was mine. MINE. What the hell was I doing wasting time overthinking? I have someone who loves me and cares about me, what more can I ask more?

Why do we complicate things? Why do all think so much? I know we all are scared to love but okay, yeah, it does not work out but you won't die. You will learn a lesson and get back up to your feet again. We should stop chasing love because there is no one perfect just waiting for us to run behind them. He or she comes along when you are not even looking and sometimes, like in my case, he or she could be right there in front of you but you just refused to see it because you were too busy chasing the idea of being in love instead of actually appreciating it. 

I went out of the restaurant after lunch and called Shivam, "Hey honey."

"Hi baby. All okay?" 

"Yes. I just wanted you to know that I love you."

"I love you too. But what happend?"

"Nothing."  

"Um..okay. Pick you up for dinner?"

"Sure."  

**