Don't leave - a Tivi Story [ON HOLD]

>8<

A/N: Trigger warning -> cutting!

The first cut didn't hurt like he expected it to. A fine line on his pale skin, leaving a future scar to remind him of this day. His eyes were shut, a tear escaped but not because of the pain radiating from his arm. The main reason was the burning pain in his heart. Holding the razor blade in his right shaking hand, resting on his skin, he let his tears flow. People said that cutting would help to releave pain when in reality, it deepend it. Every single cut flashed another memory.
One. She cried.
Two. She shoved him away. Three. She's pregnant.
Four. She's dead.
When Avi opened his eyes he was frightened of what he saw. Dark, red and warm liquid flowed into the sink, disappearing in the sewers of the city. His arm, gashed with a thousand cuts. His eyes roamed over the wounds, hating himself more and more. The blade fell onto the ground with a rattling sound. He glanced up into his own reflection, meeting the bloodshot, sleepless eyes of a broken man. The blood kept streaming, his sight started to blur as he saw Clarissa in his own reflection, scolding him for his stupidity. "I love you.." he whispered to his fading imagination before the darkness took over and he thought that he was going to die..

If you could draw parallels between two things, you would mark the shattered glass as one spot, and Avi's heart as the other one. So broken, aggrieved, wrecked beyond repair. His dull eyes wandered down to the shattered item on the ground. How sharp the edges were, how wonderful they glistened in the sunlight and how inviting the little weapon looked, how easy it could be to just take it and...

"Are you alright?"

Tim's low voice pierced through the silence, pushing aside the thoughts he was having in a soothing motion. Avi hung his head, embracing his own body to protect himself from outer assailants. Although there were none Avi always felt their presence. Her presence. He heard the crunching noise of glass being swept off the floor, not noticing that Tim was cleaning the mess he, a nobody and a failure, had caused. Run. But where could he run to? Avi was already locked up in this room with this unknown man. His car was probably still at the bar and he had nothing with him. No cards, no phone.. he was basically a nobody. He looked up to see Tim kneeling in front of him. A small smile played around his lips, trying to gain one from the green eyed man.

"What's your name?"

Questions over questions. Avi's eyes never left his. What was his deal? Why was he saved by this man? He kept those in mind. Maybe he would find the answer. He opened his mouth ever so slightly, afraid of his own voice. Clarissa always made sure to tell him how awful he sounded, his voice being the reason why he never got solos or the opportunity to talk in interviews. He fell silent after that, barely talked or engaged in any conversations with his bandmates and sang as quiet as possible. Dreadful, painful, disgusting. Tim waited patiently, not pushing him, not like...her. Time stood still as they stared in each others eyes. Those chocolate brown ones devoured Avi, brought him back to his house in the mountains. How peaceful it was there.. before he left it for the love of his life. Peace. Another thing he longed for but would never find.

"A-avi-i."

He stammered barely audible as if his name was cursed by his merciless fate. There was no gleam in the eyes of the man, no indication of him knowing the somewhat famous bass. To Tim Avi was a random person he had rescued just like that, why?

"I won't ask about anything. You can stay here as long as you want to. If you want to go back home I can drive you, alright? Just promise me that you will stay safe?"

Promises. Were meant to be broken, right? Why else did you make those. You would ask someone to promise something when you're afraid of loosi..oh. Tim tilted his head when he saw realization flashing in the eyes of the broken man in front of him. Something was going through his mind, but it could be either good or bad. Avi dropped his arms to his sides while processing what he had just found out. Tim was genuinely worried about loosing him... They didn't even know one another!

"O-oka-ay."

Tim smiled at him, showed his perfect pearly white teeth.

"Do you want to stay?"

Did he? Going back home wasn't an option anymore. Too many memories of the past, Clarissa's presence still lingered in their shared room, forcing him to sleep on the couch. She haunted his mind and body at all times, escpecially when he stayed there. Why he didn't sell the house? He couldn't. Everything he had worked for, everything he wanted to share and give to his wife and child layed unaffected in that home. A heartbreaking tragedy, wanting to stay and leave at the same time. He was torn back and forth between being with his looked-for future family and the ghosts in his head, hating him for his crime. The crime he was told to be guilty of. He thought about staying with Tim, weighing his options. Avi had no friends, no family, no future. Only his past made him what he was today. Was Tim ready to cope with such a mess? Such a burden?

"If..i-if you d-don't..m-mind.."

"Of course not. In fact I would be happy."

The brown eyed man stood up slowly and held out a hand, realizing immediately that Avi would never take it, at least yet. Still unmoving Avi looked up at him like a child, like his own child he would never meet because of his murder.

"Come, I'll show you the house."

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