Don't leave - a Tivi Story [ON HOLD]

>20<

A/N: Already chapter 20.. geez, also this is for ConnieGodfrey22 <3

"I'm sorry."

Avi froze. His hand held onto the paper as his eyes closed. Tim stood behind him, waiting for the smaller man to accept his apology. He hasn't been sleeping, he had only closed his eyes so it seemed like it but he couldn't find any peace. It was impossible, the thought of Avi crying and blaming himself upstairs was unbearable for his mind and he couldn't rest until Avi forgave him. His mind couldn't block out what he had heard either , the things Avi had done in the bathroom in hopes that no one would catch him but he failed. Tim had heard every single whimper, every single cry and every single tear rolling down his cheek and landing on the floor. 

"I had no right to tell you how I feel, knowing that you were still hurting and obviously not ready to be with anyone. I'm sorry for making it worse than it was before."

He whispered but Avi felt as if he was yelling at him. It wasn't Tim's fault, it was Avi's messed up mind. His arms were hurting, one line was deeper and more painful than the other and he cringed at the burning sensation radiating from them. Tim's pained voice, his own mental breakdown, Clarissa's taunting acts.. it was all just too much. Avi didn't knew how much longer he could take it before shattering into pieces.

"Please turn around?"

Why did he bring so much pain and hurt to other people? To those who showed him love or at least friendship? Why was he like poison, killing every single person who took a step too far? First Clarissa, then his family and friends.. and now Tim. Avi hung his head and let the paper fall down onto the counter again, turning slowly so his body faced Tim's.

"Look at me?"

His deep voice made the small brunette shutter and whimper silently. Why did he feel like Tim would punish him for being such a failure? Hesitantly he lifted his gaze and wandered up until it met his caring brown eyes. Oh those eyes...

"Please tell me."

Lifting an eyebrow Avi gave him a questioning look while his heart beat a little faster. Tim's eyes left his and trailed down his upper body until they lingered on Avi's blood soaked shirt, right where the cuts were. Avi's eyes widened and he hid his arms behind his back.

"I d-don't know.."

"Avi.. are you afraid of me? Because you stutter whenever you speak..."

How could someone be afraid of their savior? He wasn't afraid because of him.. he was afraid because of his feelings for him and he hated not being able to control them. He loved Tim but he disliked him at the same time because of the things he did to him. Those unwanted butterflies he tried to ignore, the never leaving wish for Tim to hold him for hours and kiss the top of his head. He wanted to be with him but his heart was posessed by someone else and if she didn't leave then Avi could never bond with another human being...

"I love you.."

Avi mumbled under his breath, quickly covering his mouth with his hands. Those three cursed words.. escaping from his mouth. A sin Clarissa would never forgive him. Thinking it was one thing, but saying them out loud was another one and it could cost him his life. His passed fiancé would punish him and Avi's eyes shone with tears as he thought about it. The scars on his forearms were fresh and felt like the devil himself (A/N: aka me) was digging with his fingernails into them. He wouldn't survive another punishment.

"I love you too and you know it.. You just don't want to be with me, right?"

Was it selfish of Tim to say that? Maybe.. Avi let out a shuttering breath and wiped away his tears.

"I d-do.. I j-just can't.."

"And why not?"

None of them had stepped forward, it was a talk based on distance and neither of them knew how to think about that.

"S-she won't allow it.. T-tim I w-want you but I c-can't risk your l-life.."

"I'm more worried about you.."

Finally Tim decided to close the distance between them and took Avi into his arms, letting him sob into his shoulder and tightening his grip around his savior as he closed his eyes to focus on what he was saying.

"We can do this together. No more fear, just love. Avi I love you so damn much it makes me insane. You don't have to go through this alone, okay? There must be a way to stop her from haunting you and we will find it. An angel like you does not deserve such a life. I love you.."

Avi slowly opened them again and loosened his grip a little, creating a little space between them, faces inches apart.

"Why d-do you c-care so much? Why d-do you love me? I j-just create a mess wherever I go and.."

He was silenced by a pair of lips, pressed carefully on his own.

Thank you for reading, voting and commenting! <3

#Yanie