Don't leave - a Tivi Story [ON HOLD]

>17<

"I will never let go Jack!"

Avi turned off the television. Titanic has always been one of Clarissa's favorites but that was not the reason he lifted the remote so that blackness would appear on the screen. The movie was just overall sad, a girl which was too foolish and got back on the ship although they would have had a better change of surviving if they had gone separately. But no, she wanted to die with him, survived in the end. Avi felt like he was Rose. He had tried to save his fiancé, he wanted to die the very day she left earth. Now he here he was. Living a pathetic existence he couldn't call life anymore. He wiped away the tears he had shed throughout the whole movie while he was laying sideways on Tim's couch who declared to make them something to eat although Avi didn't feel that hungry. He was used to starve himself plus the sudden events turned his stomach into knots. Sighing was the only thing he could do besides blaming himself for acting desperately. He had kissed his savior. Not because he loved him, but because he was lonely and emotionally wrecked... yeah that was it. Love couldn't be true. It was a trap. Once you fell for somebody you would either spend the rest of your days with them or rott in loneliness. Right now Avi was part of the second one.

"Avi?"

The smaller man turned onto his back and looked at Tim holding two bowls of soup in his hands, mentioning him to take a seat at the bar. Avi got up slowly, a slight headache bugging him already. He rubbed his reddened eyes and sat down next to Tim who had not said anything about the kiss ever since they had parted.

"I hope it's to your liking."

He smiled genuinely and placed the bowl in front of Avi who just started to stare at it. Hunger was his last problem. A lot more was worrying him. Tim lowered the spoon after eating a little and placed his hand on top of Avi's.

"I know you're hungry. Please eat something. For me?"

Avi looked up from the bowl and slightly shook his head.

"I can't.. I feel sick..."

He retrieved his hand and played with his fingers, his head hanging down. The truth: he was beyond hungry but he couldn't get one spoon down while dealing with so many thoughts and emotions, even if he really tried to. Tim eyed him, sighed and then had an idea.

"I will go and fix you a bath. Maybe that will help you to relax. Be right back."

He stood up and passed the kitchen, setting down his bowl on the counter before jogging upstairs and filling the bathtub with hot water, adding some soap to it. Meanwhile Avi was getting rid of the soup. He had tried to eat at least one spoon, but failed when he felt like throwing up. If he couldn't ask Tim about his feelings then he couldn't get anything down. Avi dragged himself upstairs, gripping the railing tight because he feared that he might fall down and break his neck, something he had wished would have happened years ago... A wonderful and flowery scent filled his nostrils and he followed it until he found the bathroom in which Tim had filled the tub and fixed him some clothes and a towel.

"I hope it's not too hot."

He smiled while stepping away from the neatly folded clothes and walked out of the bathroom, giving Avi some privacy.

"H-hey Tim?"

Avi shut his eyes and gulped heavily, his back facing his savior. He shook his head slightly and turned around, meeting a pair of sympathetic eyes.

"Yes Avi?"

Depending on what Tim would answer Avi could choose whether he wanted to jump out of the window or drown himself in the tub. It was possible to die both ways if done properly, he had figured a few days after her death. Unfortunately she dragged him back to life..

"Do you.. do you hate me? For...uhm.."

"Kissing me?"

Tim concluded, stepping closer to him, never leaving his eyes. Avi hugged his body and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. Darting his eyes everywhere, avoiding Tim before he started rambling.

"Y-yeah..I'm sorry..I.. I wasn't thinking s-straight and..and..I.."

"Avi."

His stare shifted to the taller man. What had he done? He should've kept those doubts for himself. He was sure Tim was trying to fix to tell him that he should leave. It was all his fault, only his and no one elses.

"I'm not mad at you. Nor am I angry. To be honest and you won't like it most probably, I liked the kiss. Stop trying to make yourself feel bad about it, you didn't do anything wrong okay hun?"

Avi's eyes fell to the ground as he nodded ,understanding, still he felt guilty. Tim placed an arm on his shoulder, causing Avi to look up again, before he placed a small kiss on his cheek.

"Now, get in the tub and relax a little. I will go down stairs and pick a movie for when you're done. Call if you need me."

Tim caressed Avi's cheek with his thumb, saw the slight hint of him blushing and winked at him, leaving the bathroom to Avi. When he was alone he lifted his hand to touch the cheek Tim had kissed and although he was doubting everything he couldn't help but smile. The first time after years of sadness.

Thank you for reading, voting and commenting! <3

#Yanie