Don't leave - a Tivi Story [ON HOLD]

>11 <

A/N: Listen to the song while reading.. sry

I'm sorry that you had to wait for so long!

Tim supported him, taking as much of his weight on his own as possible. Avi's light went out after mentioning her name. He didn't know what had happened or why the smaller man was suddenly so pale and shaking before drifting into unconsciousness. The picture had an effect on him, so big that it sucked out the life of him. Tim managed to set him down onto the couch before running off to get him a wet washcloth.

"Mommy I'm tired." A small child rested her head against his mother's chest. Avi's eyes were locked on them and he didn't even bother to look away, not even when the woman caught him staring. "Pervert." She scoffed while grabbing her purse and walking away towards her husband. Avi nodded. How many times has he been insulted for sitting on a bench at the playground without having a child? He just wanted to see their joyful faces as they came down the slide and ran towards their parents. He just wished to have something similar. A family, a wife and child. Instead he was alone, damned to live with loneliness. He looked over to his right with tears in his eyes and saw a humansized cage casually standing in the middle of the playground. He didn't want to but he got up, took a few steps before kneeling down to look at it. There was a small creature inside of it. Maybe a child, he couldn't detect it. The body moved a little and lifted his head. Green gleaming eyes looked into his, stared into his soul with a demonic power. Avi's body froze. He couldn't tell if the child was in fact human or a fallen angel. He reached out a hand before he felt a sharp pain in his back. "Murderer!"
Avi woke up. Alone in his dark bedroom. It has been two weeks since Clarissa was gone and he kept on having those nightmares. Tears spilled from his eyes and he didn't bother to wiped them away.  For what? He was alone, abandoned. He had closed the doors to the outside world since the accidents. It was his fault. His fault.. his fault after all. He rolled onto his back breathing in the thick air. He deserved no sleep. Clarissa kept him outside of their once shared bedroom but her presence lingered in the entire house. How was he supposed to forget her if she could never forgive him. How was he supposed to let go if there has never been a closure?  Avi just loved her to much..
"I hate you.." He heard her voice repeatedly in his head. Over and over until he couldn't take it anymore and ran to his best friends.. the alcohol and razor blades. They weren't helpful on the long run but for a short amount of time they did their wonders. Avi lifted his head to meet the eyes of a broken man when he stopped breathing. His fiancé stared at him, a knife in her hand pointing it directly at him.
"Good night!"

Avi gasped for air. He hated dreams like that more, than his own life. They reminded him of the murder, the crime he commited, the reason why he was a sinner and about to descend from earth into the gates of hell. His body was burning, sweat covered his it, he felt like drowning. A strong grip around his torso made him open his eyes fully. He couldn't control his body just yet, it felt limp and useless.  He recognized that it was Tim comforting him. Comforting his body but not his mind. Avi was screaming, crying, begging to just leave this place called earth but his mouth remained shut. Tears fell from his eyes, which alarmed the taller man and led him to rub his back.

"It will be alright."

No, it will not. It will never be alright to live with such thoughts and dreams. It will never be alright to be reminded day by day of what he had done. It will never be alright to be pointed at, humiliated and beaten up verbally. Avi took it for so many years. Wore a mask to hide his broken mind and crumbled feelings in front of the fans so they wouldn't see a fallen hero. He wasn't able to cover it anymore. Without noticing it he embraced Tim and pulled him closer, crying now into the crook of his neck. He held on for dear life, for the life he had entitled as personal hell. His sobs filled the room, his body shook in Tim's arms. Why him?

----------------------------------------------------

Avi's head rested on Tim's legs. His hair fell into his face and got brushed back by his saviour carefully. The night was breaking in already, the smaller man spent the day bawling and sobbing. Tim didn't ask him why he was crying, what the dream was about or why he couldn't stop shaking. He just sat there and massaged Avi's scalp in hope to calm him down. Avi regained some of colour and wasn't as pale as before. Tim sighed barely audible and thought back. Something about the picture had triggered a painful memory. The name Ellie-Grace had a meaning for Avi but which one? Tim kept his gaze on him, traced his beautiful features taking in the jawline, nose and finally stopping at the eyes which were staring at nothing in particular. Such a stunning shade of green. The same ones.. as the girl's. He furrowed his eyebrows and wanted to say something to the man in front of him but figured that calming him down would be a better option for now. He smiled at the sudden thought and started to sing quietly.

 When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

  Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you  

Remember when I said i will write an Avin book? Here it is! Please check out: "Hello there" and leave a comment!

Also do me a favor and read PTXSLMJ book: Bridges!

Thanks for reading, voting and commenting! <3

#Yanie <3